Singular visions than have stayed with you

[Bronzy]

Saw an old man get cunted in the face with a flying block of ice in Cowdenbeath.

[Brundle-Fly]

A young Chinese man trying to sell bootleg DVD movies out of his shoulder bag in a local pub and everyone ignoring him. This was about seven or eight years ago when this once ubiquitous dodgy trade was in its dying embers.  It was sunny so the girlfriend and I went outside with our drinks. The DVD man was sat alone at a bar table, gently weeping. He looked up at us with an ashamed expression on his face, bowed his head in silent apology and left. Think of him regularly with a tinge of regret because we didn't do something to make him feel better.

[non capisco]

A terrified German Augustus Gloop-ish child being chased by a sausage dog with an erection while his father looked on and said "Mein gott!".

[The Mollusk]

Hahaha fucking hell, the bratwurst strikes back

[kalowski]

1. A man throwing himself off a bridge on the A5. I can still see his twisted body in the ground.
2. Edinburgh after watching Tom Waits at the Playhouse, an eerie mist dropped so we could hardly see in front of us.
3. An elderly lady who kept repeating, "A gentleman, a gentleman. A rare breed," after I held a door for her.

[Clatty McCutcheon]

A snowy day in the east end of Glasgow a few years back, and cars are trying to get up a fairly steep street. Mostly, they're trying to get a decent run at it, then starting to spin their wheels and slither around a bit as they just about manage over the brow of the hill. All the while, there's a young guy standing by the side of the road, quite possibly under the influence of something or other, bawling out encouragement – "C'moan, the motors!' – and celebrating each successful ascent with a hearty shout of 'YASSSSSS!!'.

[Dex Sawash]

Attack ships boucing off Tannhäuser Gate or something

[Twit 2]

In Romania in March (Sibiu, if you would like specifics) a vagrant approached in what was possibly the most piteous shambling state I've ever seen. Every article of clothing, or rather material on him was reduced to a few flaps of rags, not only flailing a little bit, but barely serving any purpose whatsoever. Bare torso and legs with underpants fashioned from what looked like bed sheets. Not only did he stand out on the street, you could have picked him out from space. Bald head (turns out you do see a bald tramp, biggy) a decade of tan and ragged beard. It seems impossible somehow that he hadn't managed to obtain some replacement clothes, but who knows his story. Feral stench, but I respect that.

Incapable of getting up, nailed to my bed, I drift with the whims of my memory, and I see myself wandering, as a child, in the Carpathians. One day I stumbled on a dog whose master, doubtless to be rid of it, had tied it to a tree; the animal was little more than a skeleton, so drained of life that it barely had the strength to look at me, without being able to move. Yet it was standing, that dog...

[PlanktonSideburns]

These can be nice or quirky ones too

Yea c'mon guys, lighten it up a bit

[PlanktonSideburns]

A bit of Pot Noodle juice spilled on an electric hob plate, jiggling and morphing into various blobby shapes, sizzling and dancing but never spilling off, just gliding about like a Flubber ordered off Wish, a gelatinous brown bit of Terminator goo too far from its scummy host to locate or rejoin with it, trapped in the hot parameters of the plate while track 1 off Aphex's Melodies From Mars played on a nearby stereo.

Remember once eating one of those spicy pot noodles, then smoking a malbro light, chucked it in the empty pot, and tried to extinguish said fag by swirling it about - the resulting firework show in the pit looked amazing, can't even describe it, try it

[PlanktonSideburns]

Driving to Legoland and coming off the motorway near Heathrow. Presumably due to our velocity, the plane's velocity and the angle that we viewed it, a plane coming into land seemed to be stationary in the air, suspended above us, for what seemed ages.

Is there a word for that phenomena?

Legolanderhiverplanchrist - German word for the sensation of driving  to Legoland and coming off the motorway near Heathrow and seeing a plane, but due to the velocity and the angle its viewed at, it seems to be stationary in the air, suspended above you, for what seems like ages.

[Fr.Bigley]

I once watched a blind bloke in a car dealership negotiating on a BMW. Very expensive Ford Fiesta.

[SpiderChrist]

Cambridge train station, winter 2018, about 11 at night. Absolutely bastard freezing cold. A uniformed security guard is stood in front of a four-sided barrier, inside which was what appeared to be a blanket-covered corpse. "move along, mate" he sez to I.

[SpiderChrist]

There was also a bloke in Cambridge years ago who used to affix sundry items to his head and wander about like a mad cunt. A baguette, a whole salmon, stuff like that.

[Rizla]

Amazing thread.

I may have done both of these before, but -

1. Walking home pissed with a mate through the new town, happened to glance at a big bay window through which I spied a couple "at it" by the light of the telly, woman on top bouncing away in the throes of ecstasy, biting her finger, the lot. Mate did not see. I did not react, but stopped to light a fag and wait for mate to finish his sentence, then told him to look at window. Never seen someone laugh so much, a joyous memory.

2. Insanely windy day, bloke on George IV bridge in Edinburgh, covered in tattoos inc. facial, pierced everything inc big tribal earlobe disc things, giant cyberpunk boots, bondage trousers flapping along with long leather duster coat, top hat with goggles attached, trying desperately to light a great big meerschaum pipe. (bonus content - slightly less windy day, bloke in electric wheelchair at a bus stop on Dundee's Perth Rd skinning up a big joint, using his asthma inhaler to weigh down the skins).

(BTW If someone wants to do "getting rode by my gf in a big flat in the new town and saw a drunk man laughing his tits off at us in the street" be my guest!!!!

[prelektric]

Twas a yearly tradition that upon Boxing Day (post epic bowel movements, of course) that the entire family would descend upon my Uncle's house for a bit of a family knees-up and what not.

My Auntie Eunice (RIP) was quite a spectacularly large lady, and she was in charge of making what, more often than not over the years, was incredibly awful food for us all to "enjoy".

While she was serving the so called food, she leaned over to reach my Grandmother to provide her with the slop. My Mum and I were sat directly behind this. It became incredibly noticeable that Auntie Eunice was not wearing any underwear. My mother and I got an extraordinary view of all of Eunice's erm... bits. It looked like the Sarlacc Pit from "Return of the Jedi".

Put me right off me scran I can tell you. Burned into my retina still now, 35 years later.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

Running my makeshift food smoker for the first time and inadvertantly creating a layer of smoke, about two inches thick, all across the back yard. It probably didn't do the lawn any good, but it looked quite spectacular, especially when someone stepped in it. Also, the smoked food was excellent.

Flying home from France a few years ago: The angle we were moving relative to the sun meant that every waterway beneath us was lit up with the reflected sunshine. At first it was the rivers, shining away amongst the green landscape, like some gigantic circuit board. Even the sewage plants looked beautiful. Then we reached the Channel and the whole thing was gleaming brilliantly. I looked down to see a ship floating atop this sea of molten gold. It was like being in some Greek myth (although I might just be saying that because it was an Easyjet flight).

[Replies From View]

Professorial gentleman in a suit, pissing into a sink in the British Library.  A row of unused urinals immediately behind him.

[QDRPHNC]

Similar to Claude's: Flying over (I think) Labrador, and it was incredible, no roads, no sign of human life at all, just vast spaces and perfect baby-blue lakes dotted all over the place. I fantasized about being down there and experiencing such total solitude.

Similar to Rizla's: Staying in a motel somewhere in Arizona, and I'm walking to the ice machine at night. Pass a room with the curtain not quite closed and there's a chap on the bed receiving a nosh from his naked ladyfriend, bent over with her arse pointed in my favour.

Here's another grim one: New Orleans, walking past a group of homeless guys huddled in a shop doorways as they are realizing one of them has overdosed. A passing man who seemed to have some medical knowledge stopped to help, but it was clear the guy was dead. Young guy too, in his 20s.

[The Ombudsman]

I lived in a poor part of the south east coast. Was alright by the most part but one thing is burned into my mind.

Walking past the shops on a hot summers day off to the sea front, a 'lady' and some chap seemed to be arguing, pissed up and I think a bit simple, for want of a better phrase. The woman pulled down her tracksuit trousers, leaned her back up against the SPAR glass front and proceeded to piss for a sold two minutes. I couldn't help but watch. The bloke just carried on shouting at her. She finished, pulled up her trousers nearly falling over then they both just carried on.

[Fr.Bigley]

I lived in a poor part of the south east coast. Was alright by the most part but one thing is burned into my mind.

Walking past the shops on a hot summers day off to the sea front, a 'lady' and some chap seemed to be arguing, pissed up and I think a bit simple, for want of a better phrase. The woman pulled down her tracksuit trousers, leaned her back up against the SPAR glass front and proceeded to piss for a sold two minutes. I couldn't help but watch. The bloke just carried on shouting at her. She finished, pulled up her trousers nearly falling over then they both just carried on.

Do you still speak to your mum and dad now then?

[Rizla]

Oh yeah -
Driving through the behind-the-scenes area of some music festival or other, alongside a security fence, against other side of which a seemingly endless line of women were pissing.

[Alberon]

In Romania in March (Sibiu, if you would like specifics) a vagrant approached in what was possibly the most piteous shambling state I've ever seen. Every article of clothing, or rather material on him was reduced to a few flaps of rags, not only flailing a little bit, but barely serving any purpose whatsoever. Bare torso and legs with underpants fashioned from what looked like bed sheets. Not only did he stand out on the street, you could have picked him out from space. Bald head (turns out you do see a bald tramp, biggy) a decade of tan and ragged beard. It seems impossible somehow that he hadn't managed to obtain some replacement clothes, but who knows his story. Feral stench, but I respect that.

[poodlefaker]

Gazing out of the window of my Pendolino as it slows into Reading station I see an elderly woman with a wheelie suitcase hastening along the platform towards the train. She is smartly dressed and sprightly with a full day ahead of her: perhaps a trip to see an old friend in Bristol, or time spent with her young grandchildren in Exeter. Alas, no; she trips and falls heavily onto her face as I coast by.

[mrfridge]

Travelling with the family from Manchester to Devon around 1991. I'm in the boot, basic road safety seemingly not an issue to my father. Gazing up out of the back window there's a flash of feathers and sudden thud as a black bird falls from the sky and hits the car. I sit up as best I can, look back towards the traffic behind us as the fallen bird is destroyed by the vehicle following us. Dad asks if anyone heard a bump but I can't bring myself to explain what's just happened.

[dissolute ocelot]

Had some nice nature watching moments. We went to Hermaness, the northernmost part of Shetland, to see puffins. You walk over a moor where lots of great skuas nest in the heather, massive fuck-off birds a cross between herring gulls and buzzards that dive bomb you. Then you get to the cliffs and there are signs warning you not to wear waterproof trousers as if you fall, you'll slide off over the cliff. We soon reached a bit with a view of a cliff with a couple of nesting puffins, and there were a few other people with binoculars peering too. Then we walked further up the coast and reached a bit where puffins were walking over the grass, coming up over the cliff for a look at us. They're very curious and they came up to us and stuck their funny coloured beaks almost in our faces, less than a metre away.

Had some other nice moments with seals, otters, and the storm petrels at Mousa Broch (tiny black seabirds that can't walk and fly to mass roosts in the middle of the night) but nothing beats puffins for cuteness and friendliness.

[kalowski]

Which reminds me...
Cycling in Macclesfield - as I went down a country lane a buzzard swooped in front of my and flew, directly at the same height as my eyes for 2 or 3 minutes as if guiding me.

[Fr.Bigley]

Which reminds me...
Cycling in Macclesfield

Not Marc Cohn's best work to be honest.

[Ferris]

A small boy being directed to wee into a puddle in Barmouth, North wales. I was probably about 5 and thought "no hang on, what?!"

The weirdness of it stuck with me. Why in a puddle? Is that better?

[willbo]

a young "chav"/yob ish white boy walking though Coventry town centre late at night. 4/5 larger black men took his cap off and started throwing it to each other. They didn't even look mean..it was like they were laughing with light-hearted joy, and hadn't even noticed him. They then walked off (i think still throwing the cap) while the boy shouted something like "my crew - is gonna track you all down - one by one!" and then he kept shouting "one by one! one by fuckin one!" as they faded into the distance. Me and my friend just laughing from the other side of the main road.

a middle aged suited man in Coventry station - about 50? - clutching his chest and gasping "oh! ohhh!" with pain and horror as his train came in and he was forced to run for it (it was funnier than it look written down... i'm struggling to capture it in words)...