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March 28, 2024, 06:18:29 PM

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Cunt of Death Day Jubilation Spectacular

Started by shoulders, May 16, 2022, 02:40:06 PM

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shoulders

The bunting is being festooned already. I wandered the streets of York on Sunday bellowing 'she won't make it!' at befuddled council employees. Fat use it did. No unfestooning commenced. Blasted monarch.

Despite rumours of her demise, The Cunt of Death is probably going to be alive for her own kiss arse Day, which is a disaster.

What are you lot, right minded and correct people of upstanding morals, planning to do to avoid this? Personally, I will be in Budapest. There is more dissent against Viktor Orban than the Cunt of Death. I'll live with it.

Get out. Out, I say!


Norton Canes

The only thing I can remember about the silver jubilee festivities is sitting down to a trestle table on a chair that had a puddle on the seat and having a wet arse all day. So I might recreate that moment.

DrGreggles

I'd booked a weekend away on the assumption that 30th May was a bank holiday.
Now I've got to use a day's leave because of Crown Cunt's birthday bollocks (or whatever the fuck it is).

Hope she chokes to death on a fucking swan - FOR AGES

Jittlebags

I only just noticed they've moved Spring Bank Holiday to the Thursday before the new Jublee Bank Holiday. Bet it'll piss it down.

Got a family barbecue lined up for the Thursday and my sister text me to tell me she's got union jack plates and bunting in for it. I told her specifically that we were NOT going to be celebrating the jubilee and that we were just having a get together cos of free day off, but she had to fucking mess it all up didn't she?

First cunt that tells me "they more than pay for themselves with the tourism they bring in" is going straight on the fucking grill.

Blue Jam


shoulders

Confuse a Monarchist TODAY, by saying:

You know who is better than The Queen? Sir Captain Tom Moore.

TommyTurnips

I wonder if Phil will make a speech, and if so, will be ruin/improve it with his blue humour. I will be watching, but mainly for the Phil.

shoulders

Quote from: TommyTurnips on May 16, 2022, 03:15:01 PMI wonder if Phil will make a speech, and if so, will be ruin/improve it with his blue humour. I will be watching, but mainly for the Phil.

I have news for you that will make you shit bricks.

He has decided to stay at home to complete Ninja Gaiden on the original Xbox.

SpiderChrist

If she dies between her Jubilee celebrations and Strawberry Fair, leading to the cancelling of the latter, then I will never vote for her again.


SpiderChrist

As for the weekend itself? No idea. Not been invited to owt, wouldn't go if I was. The radio station me and my mate do a show for is having an outside broadcast all weekend to lick the arses of the ultra-rich, but we've been told we can go ahead with our show as normal. He's as anti-monarchy as I am, so it won't even get mentioned.

steve98

Quote from: Blue Jam on May 16, 2022, 02:54:39 PMI will be in Scotland.

You can come to my street-party in Glasgow, if you like. Bring a bottle.

Blue Jam

Quote from: steve98 on May 16, 2022, 03:29:52 PMYou can come to my street-party in Glasgow, if you like. Bring a bottle.

There's a street party happening in Scotland? Don't lie.

Ferris

Quote from: Blue Jam on May 16, 2022, 03:32:28 PMThere's a street party happening in Scotland? Don't lie.

There will be if she doesn't make it.

Pink Gregory

Gonna pretend that all the bunting and street parties are actually for my birthday with Quin is ruining by having her Quin Christmas on.

dead-ced-dead

I booked two days off work from the Monday and Tuesday after the Thu and Fri bank holidays, so I'm looking forward to six days off work. Otherwise, I couldn't care less.

shoulders

Quote from: dead-ced-dead on May 16, 2022, 04:44:32 PMI booked two days off work from the Monday and Tuesday after the Thu and Fri bank holidays, so I'm looking forward to six days off work. Otherwise, I couldn't care less.

Will you care when it's rubbed in your face violently like so much dogshit (as is basically already starting to happen)?

dead-ced-dead

Quote from: shoulders on May 16, 2022, 04:49:03 PMWill you care when it's rubbed in your face violently like so much dogshit (as is basically already starting to happen)?

I have those big, chunky over ear headphones. I'm the most antisocial cunt there is, no one rubs anything in my face and I ignore the world.... I'm very lonely.

shoulders

Quote from: dead-ced-dead on May 16, 2022, 04:57:54 PMI have those big, chunky over ear headphones. I'm the most antisocial cunt there is, no one rubs anything in my face and I ignore the world.... I'm very lonely.

Sweeeet

Ferris

Quote from: dead-ced-dead on May 16, 2022, 04:57:54 PMI'm the most antisocial cunt there is, no one rubs anything in my face and I ignore the world.... I'm very lonely.

What name does he post on here with?

...oh

Video Game Fan 2000

Quote from: TommyTurnips on May 16, 2022, 03:15:01 PMI wonder if Phil will make a speech, and if so, will be ruin/improve it with his blue humour. I will be watching, but mainly for the Phil.

I've been enjoying his contest to create a new commemorative Jubilee racial slur, lots of excellent entries. I'm learning a lot about geography watching it

touchingcloth

Have they created a new Bank Holiday for this, or is it just a one off?

But rum that it sounds like they've moved the late May one rather than just adding two extra ones in June. Celebrate, proles, but not too much.

Butchers Blind

Building an effigy of the Kween out of wank socks which I will set fire to on 3rd June.

Blue Jam

Just seen MPs have condemned Jurgen Klopp for defending Liverpool fans over booing Prince William and God Save The CoD. Don't football fans usually boo the English national anthem? And a manager is hardly going to insult their club's fans are they? Good on ya Kloppo.

FFS, how is this being seen as worthy of discussion by MPs? And this is what it's going to be like for anyone who doesn't obediently tug their forelocks over the next few weeks isn't it? Just wait until the Mail trawl Twitter for any even mildly critical comments and compile all the tweets into yet another hatchet job on ordinary members of the public. I think I might book a holiday to Pyongyang to escape all this enforced patriotism.

Blue Jam

Quote from: Butchers Blind on May 16, 2022, 05:27:42 PMBuilding an effigy of the Kween out of wank socks which I will set fire to on 3rd June.

Kleenex are bringing out some limited-edition packaging for the Jubilee. Their tissues will all be rebranded as Kweenex so you can pay tribute to the CoD with whatever bodily emissions you deem appropriate.

shiftwork2

I remember the silver jubilee in 1977.  I fell over and put my hand in a dog turd.

After 108 years she finally makes herself useful with a free day off so just enjoy it.

hamfist

My village is having some insufferable picnic. Wear red white and blue ! I will not be there as I will be actively angry at all those cardigans gathered to drink shitty tea out of shitty cups in a shitty field in a shitty village in a shitty country.

Planning to stay out of everyone's way, for their safety.

idunnosomename

As I'm performing in QUEN, not much choice really

Alberon

For the silver jubilee we got hoiked out of school and made to wave a flag at the roadside as she sped past flicking Vs at us all. Or at least that's how I remember it.

We did have a street party but it rained so we ended up having it in a neighbour's garage. Some photographer made us pose by the tables in the road in the rain, but no one used them.

I didn't care what it was for. It was a party with cake, jelly and funny paper hats.

28 years old I was.