You cunts doing gardening at all this year (2024) or what?

[Glebe]

You cunts doing gardening at all this year (2024) or what?

Monty Don's manners have 'disimproved greatly'.

[Blumf]

Have you thought about pollination?

Also, what kind of manky crap?

Yep, been at them with a toothbrush n everything.

The fruits come in, but end up rotten on the vine or never ripen.

[extraordinary walnuts]

Have you tried any cherry tomato varieties? Those are a little more forgiving, I find. They ripen quicker and they seem immune to the blossom end rot I always seem to see when I grow the whopping great big ones.

[Buelligan]

Yep, been at them with a toothbrush n everything.

The fruits come in, but end up rotten on the vine or never ripen.

You haven't got blossom end rot, have you?



ETA  Walnuts got there before me.

[king_tubby]

You haven't got blossom end rot, have you?

Bit of a personal question, that, @Buelligan

We only grow cherry toms and they go absolutely apeshit in the greenhouse. There's still pasta sauce in the freezer from last year's crop.

[Blumf]

You haven't got blossom end rot, have you?



ETA  Walnuts got there before me.

Yep, that's the problem. Think we're going to have to be extra fussy on the fertiliser.

[thenoise]

We never bother with courgettes cos invariably someone will offload their surplus on to us.

Well yeah, my thinking was that even a doofus like me with crap inherited soil could get a decent crop.

Thanks for the recipe, even better if I can manage some basil this year.

[Buelligan]

Yep, that's the problem. Think we're going to have to be extra fussy on the fertiliser.

Also think about watering.  Sometimes it's not the lack of calcium or whatevs but periods of drought which make it difficult for the plant to take in stuff it needs. 

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I have ordered a big bag of shit from my local Young Farmers Club. Can't wait!

Good call. Young farmers eat quite a lot of red meat and dairy products, so their manure will be extra rich.

[Pink Gregory]

waiting until it's not actively unpleasant to be outside but we've got a new garden!

Got a cornus to cut back, a box and euonymus to remove, a big border to cut out of a lawn, got some seeds from Realseeds - chillies, tomatoes, squash, huazontle and whatever we have left in the box.  Not sure how the chillies/tomatoes will do because no greenhouse or cold frame but it's south facing and supposedly the courtyard is a suntrap (our neighbour has some very successful blueberries in pots and an honest to god wisteria). 

Excited that this is the first time in, well, ever, we've been able to put stuff in the ground rather than endless pots.

[confettiinmyhair]

I'm looking forward to the first full growing season at my allotment however it's by a river and half of the plot has been under water.

At the moment I've been chitting potatoes and growing peas and peppers on the windowsill. I have this grandiose plan to grow climbing flowers up this metal fence that surrounds one half of the allotment but I fear my abilities as a gardener will not mirror with the vision of a majestic flower wall.

[Buelligan]

Ahhh, it'll be grand.  Try to take pics if you can.  I know I don't as a normal thing but I'm tempted to try, just for this thread, this year.  Sharing plants, gardens, growing is an incredibly soul-lifting thing.  Onwards and upwards, into the spriiiingg!

waiting until it's not actively unpleasant to be outside but we've got a new garden!

Got a cornus to cut back, a box and euonymus to remove, a big border to cut out of a lawn, got some seeds from Realseeds - chillies, tomatoes, squash, huazontle and whatever we have left in the box.  Not sure how the chillies/tomatoes will do because no greenhouse or cold frame but it's south facing and supposedly the courtyard is a suntrap (our neighbour has some very successful blueberries in pots and an honest to god wisteria). 

Excited that this is the first time in, well, ever, we've been able to put stuff in the ground rather than endless pots.

Sounds really exciting and wonderful but... which euonymus - if europea, please, please, please, do not.  A beautiful, really beautiful, and quite rare thing - actually attempting to get some seed I collected to germinate at this moment.  If japonicus, have at it by all means. 

[Dex Sawash]

Is this the same spindle plant @Attila was after for her wool-bothering?

[Buelligan]

Yes, yes, this is my issue Euonymus europaeus.  Bloody nice bush/tree, that.  Must not be killed.

If he must kill it, at least send the corpse to Attila.

[Pink Gregory]

Ahhh, it'll be grand.  Try to take pics if you can.  I know I don't as a normal thing but I'm tempted to try, just for this thread, this year.  Sharing plants, gardens, growing is an incredibly soul-lifting thing.  Onwards and upwards, into the spriiiingg!

Sounds really exciting and wonderful but... which euonymus - if europea, please, please, please, do not.  A beautiful, really beautiful, and quite rare thing - actually attempting to get some seed I collected to germinate at this moment.  If japonicus, have at it by all means. 

nah it's japonicus, just taking up a lot of light is all

[Buelligan]

Kill it whenever you like, literally do not mind.  Actually, I do have real difficulty killing plants (and other things).  Sometimes get given things I actively dislike and yet, continue, against my own sense, will, judgement, dutifully watering the cunts, repotting them.  Soigning them.  And they refuse to die.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Back garden's being redone (pause for stupid innuendo here) at the moment. My plan is to let daisies and dandelions etc. grow but keep nettles and whatever climbing plant makes its way through the neighbours' fence under control.

[Buelligan]

Keep a few nettles if you're going wild, I'm sure you know, a lot of lovely butterflies love them.

Quickly wanted to share, today I have created a lovely new cold frame for seedlings from scavengings.  An old cat litter tray, sitting on some expanded polystyrene, covered with a section of broken perspex.  Perfect.

[king_tubby]

So peppers and aubergines going in this weekend, apparently a bit late but never mind.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Back garden's being redone (pause for stupid innuendo here) at the moment. My plan is to let daisies and dandelions etc. grow but keep nettles and whatever climbing plant makes its way through the neighbours' fence under control.

Might I suggest some ornamentation for your beautiful garden? Maybe start off with a 1997 Ford Fiesta propped up on bricks in one corner, a fucked washing machine in the other corner. Strategically place empty cans of Super Strongbow around the periphery to use as planters.

[Buelligan]

So peppers and aubergines going in this weekend, apparently a bit late but never mind.

Just been sowing basil, coriander and rouge de Grenoble lettuce (special one) and spinach, also red and white salad onions - doing them all in modules, repeat sowings, small groups.  Will pick the leaf stuff as leaves for salads rather than growing as a whole lettuce or whatevs.  Lovely little seeds.

Wanted some labels and miraculously found some brown paper parcel tape, the sort used for baling stuff, being recycled.  Cut to length works perfectly and looks pretty too.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Might I suggest some ornamentation for your beautiful garden? Maybe start off with a 1997 Ford Fiesta propped up on bricks in one corner, a fucked washing machine in the other corner. Strategically place empty cans of Super Strongbow around the periphery to use as planters.

I do have a dead lawnmower in the shed...

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Get it in the garden and set it on fire

[flotemysost]

Rattes chitting on my bedroom chair

Not content with destroying people's cars now, whatever next?

Nothing serious to add as the sum of my horticultural contribution to this earth currently stands at a brace of houseplants in various states of desiccation, but this thread is very soothing to read through.

Already half-killed an orchid I picked up for Mrs Six on Valentine's Day, so I'm well on my way.

I'm sure I've posted before about the time I inadvertently bumped off a load of budding youthful orchids at my old workplace, and had to put up with comparisons to Myra Hindley for ages afterwards from an ardently green-fingered colleague.

[Ferris]

Assuming the apple tree has survived then it's year one for espalier. Also hoping my hop plants have survived but we were under 6ft+ of snow until today so who fuckin knows.

Fruit, veg, etc to follow.

[Attila]

Is this the same spindle plant @Attila was after for her wool-bothering?

I think it is! I have a spindleberry now in the garden, although it produces tiny white flowers -- I wonder if I got the wrong/related species to what I'd actually like. It's pretty, tho.

[Attila]

Keep a few nettles if you're going wild, I'm sure you know, a lot of lovely butterflies love them.

Quickly wanted to share, today I have created a lovely new cold frame for seedlings from scavengings.  An old cat litter tray, sitting on some expanded polystyrene, covered with a section of broken perspex.  Perfect.

My latest thing is nettle-bothering (and some hedge bothering in general, always in search of very long thorns for pins). I've got a motherlode of nettles to gather come this summer -- you can harvest a very fine fibre from them that's really lovely to spin and work with.

[Buelligan]

My latest thing is nettle-bothering (and some hedge bothering in general, always in search of very long thorns for pins). I've got a motherlode of nettles to gather come this summer -- you can harvest a very fine fibre from them that's really lovely to spin and work with.

Yes, I read about it, never seen it.  I'm sure you know, believe it was used for German Army uniforms in WW1 when they couldn't get cotton.  I'm very interested in all that.  No nettles here, sadly, too dry but we have wild flax, so can't complain.

If your flowers look like this, you're probably on the right track.  Of course it's the fruit/berries that are the real seal on the deal.



What are you using the thorn/pins for?  I'm sure you've tried blackthorn (Prunus spinosa).

[thenoise]

Marked out a plot and started digging up the turf, started pouring with rain almost immediately.

[Attila]

Yes, I read about it, never seen it.  I'm sure you know, believe it was used for German Army uniforms in WW1 when they couldn't get cotton.  I'm very interested in all that.  No nettles here, sadly, too dry but we have wild flax, so can't complain.

If your flowers look like this, you're probably on the right track.  Of course it's the fruit/berries that are the real seal on the deal.



What are you using the thorn/pins for?  I'm sure you've tried blackthorn (Prunus spinosa).

Yes! That's what mine looks like. We just have the one in the garden set amongst some other flowers and shrubs, and it's quite striking.

I should use blackthorn, but I fine it a bit stubby. I'd like to find some longer thorns so that I can use them for pins (for when I do Roman and medieval heritage sites), but also get enough to make bundles to make wool carders. I know someone who has an MsC in prehistoric textiles, and envy the  heck out of her adventures with all of her workshops and hedgebothering.