Goosebumps (2023)

[Noodle Lizard]

This just appeared on Netflix. A "mature reimagining" of classic kids' horror anthology series, designed for the kids who grew up with it, now in their 30s and 40s. So they made it for people just like me.

Thanks, guys! It is utter fucking shit.

[BritishHobo]

I really liked the Jack Black film, but it's a shame that its success means they seem to have decided Goosebumps must now always be about one bloke who has all of the Goosebumps in his basement and all of the Goosebumps get out at the same time. Would have preferred they go back to the standalone stories, which here only make up about 10% of any given episode.

[Old Nehamkin]

Fucking love when shit gets maturely reimagined.

[Huxleys Babkins]

My son loves the Goosebumps books, so imagine how it feels to have to tell him, no, you can't watch the Goosebumps series because it's for grownups, not children, because corporate parasites have realised it's more efficient to directly market to nostalgic adults with disposable income than to hope children will ask their parents to buy things for them.

28 years old, etc.

[BritishHobo]

Also you'd think if you wanted to appeal to people off the nostalgia, you'd at least do a moody reimagining of the old theme song. Maybe they do do this in the finale, I'm not sure.

[Magnum Valentino]

Also you'd think if you wanted to appeal to people off the nostalgia, you'd at least do a moody reimagining of the old theme song. Maybe they do do this in the finale, I'm not sure.

Is there still room in any potential moody reimagining for a dog to go "wowrf wowrf wowrf wowrf wowrf" to the main melody?

[Brundle-Fly]

Well, I was too old for Goosebumps, so the franchise holds no resonance for me, so I'm quite enjoying it as piece of softcore disposable young person's horror.

[iamcoop]

Best kids horror thing was Are You Afraid Of The Dark?

[Noodle Lizard]

Is there still room in any potential moody reimagining for a dog to go "wowrf wowrf wowrf wowrf wowrf" to the main melody?

Probably, but he'll be whispering it with all the reverb sliders turned up to 100 over a moody synth-pad rendition of the melody.

[madhair60]

op is bollocks. it's still clearly a kids show. not sure they've ever pretended otherwise

[BritishHobo]

I've not been hating it so far - very much happy to see Justin Long continue to just have an absolute blast in the horror genre - but I do wish the spooks got more of a focus. I fuckin love the big cuckoo clock of doom, but when yer lad gets caught up in it, they only really explore it for ten minutes or so before reverting back to the main story. Anyway if they had any balls they'd do Camp Jellyjam, with the big fucking wobbly Jabba the Hutt monster who lives underground and has child slaves cleaning up his sweat day and night.

[Noodle Lizard]

op is bollocks. it's still clearly a kids show. not sure they've ever pretended otherwise

You don't think the poster implies it's targeted at adults who 'member the books/shows from the 90s?



Behave.

[PlanktonSideburns]

They should do an erotic one next

[JaDanketies]

They should do an erotic one next

loosebums

[PlanktonSideburns]

Keep the name, change color of text

[Brundle-Fly]

Do a British remake and call it 'Goosepimples".

[madhair60]

You don't think the poster implies it's targeted at adults who 'member the books/shows from the 90s?



Behave.

the poster? who cares?!

[PlanktonSideburns]

People who don't like this: probably best don't worry about it

[Noodle Lizard]

the poster? who cares?!

Well that and the fact that it is aimed at adults (or at least late teens) rather than children
Not that it can't be, but don't be calling me bollocks for suggesting it

[madhair60]

let's fucking go cunt. i'll have you anywhere, anyplace, anytime - we're fighting now

you've just made a very power ful enemy in me, madhair60.

[BritishHobo]

You can't fight in here, this is the Goosebumps thread

You can fight if you fight over what's better, Monster Blood or Night of the Living Dummy (obviously Monster Blood)

[Noodle Lizard]

madhair60 was fuming at the desk of his goon cave when suddenly a giant Blob appeared and ate everyone, but mostly him

THE END

Spoiler alert

you see it's like that Goosebumps with the typewriter that makes stories come true, but now it's all ChatGPT prompts and that, that's the joke I've done

[close]

[madhair60]

laughed out loud at "goon cave"


in all seriousness my apologies for my conduct, i'm very deeply depressed. there, now you have to feel sorry for me and you can't think i'm a cunt anymore because i've got mental health.

[shoulders]

My goose ae bump

Thank u r el stieine

[PlanktonSideburns]

let's fucking go cunt. i'll have you anywhere, anyplace, anytime - we're fighting now

you've just made a very power ful enemy in me, madhair60.

Probably best not get wound up about it tbh

[Noodle Lizard]

laughed out loud at "goon cave"


in all seriousness my apologies for my conduct, i'm very deeply depressed. there, now you have to feel sorry for me and you can't think i'm a cunt anymore because i've got mental health.

<3

[BritishHobo]

The trouble with this show is I find the larger mystery so much less interesting than the individual spooks. Not just because the 'ahhh our parents/the previous generation have dealt with this before' thing has been done before, but also because the Goosebumps stories are so mad and weird, with even the blatant ripoff ideas still being done with an absolutely demented spirit. While the Jack Black film had the same premise to this, it at least leaned into the fun, with the armies of Goosebumps monsters tearing up the town. It's not half as fun to wonder what happened between all the parents and the shady kid who lived in the old Biddle house blah blah blah

I want to see a hamster eat Monster Blood and grow massive and kick a shed over

[curiousoranges]

Streamer beware, you're in for a scare.

[bgmnts]

What do kids have now? 'Scarier than you remember' implies it's made for nostalgiadults I think.

I really do hope nowaday kids have really fun and memorable books/telly/video games/toys/music they can look back on fondly, rather than just retreads of shit that is for their parents.

[Mister Six]

Best kids horror thing was Are You Afraid Of The Dark?

I thought this Goosebumps revival thing had been going for a while, but then I realised it was AUAOTD? that got brought back a year or two ago, the success of which presumably inspired Disney to bring back this. Even the reboots aren't original these days.