Fucking ubiquitous "light entertainment" celebrities

[dissolute ocelot]

I have it on good authority from someone who worked with Fred on one of his hundreds of side projects that he's a grade A cunt of the highest order.

On the other hand I saw Egg Wallace in a tesco and he didn't even attack me or anything, and he was part of that recent satirical channel 4 mockumentary about meat, which was more interesting and worthwhile than anything Fred has done in his entire life.

Yeah, Egg Wallace seems a good yolk. Radio 1 breakfastperson (and fellow Greg(g)) Greg James has obsessively mocked Wallace for years, things like investigating the extraordinary number of christmas trees Egg has each year, and Egg takes it in good humour. This is how Kent Live reported it!

"There's two in the living room, one in the telly room, one in the kitchen, one in the hallway, one in my office, and one in the bedroom. There are seven! Seven Christmas trees."

The chef added that the grand total had dropped since last year because his wife had vowed to "calm it down a little bit". Seven Christmas trees certainly seemed the right way to do that.

The TV chef added that the outside tree had been replaced by an electric sleigh with reindeer on the front doorstep this time around. He also said that one of the trees has a star on top that spins around and shines snowflakes on the ceiling.

Gregg continued that there are four adults, two rescue dogs, and a toddler at his house this Christmas, so a tree each. The 58-year-old star chef continued that he plans to spend Christmas at home this year with a pub lunch on Christmas Eve and everything tradition on the big day itself, including a roast turkey, presents, and games in the evening.

Hating Egg Wallace is like hating Eggsmas (Xmas).

[cromby]

Darren Harriott, for instance. I've seen him on loads of panels but absolutely nowhere else. Do the BBC and Avalon just have underground breeding centres for these people?

For sad acts like me who watch Big Brother in 2023, the aftershow Late and Live (née Big-Mouth-Little-Brother-Bit-On-The-Side) has had a rotation of panellists on who tend to be London-based comedians or radio presenters I've ever heard of (even as someone who considers themselves pretty clued up on low culture ephemera). Normally I google them and it turns out they allegedly present the breakfast show on Kiss or 1Xtra or something, but I'm not convinced they aren't grown in a lab.

[dontpaintyourteeth]

For sad acts like me who watch Big Brother in 2023, the aftershow Late and Live (née Big-Mouth-Little-Brother-Bit-On-The-Side) has had a rotation of panellists on who tend to be London-based comedians or radio presenters I've ever heard of (even as someone who considers themselves pretty clued up on low culture ephemera). Normally I google them and it turns out they allegedly present the breakfast show on Kiss or 1Xtra or something, but I'm not convinced they aren't grown in a lab.

I've never heard of any of them either. I like AJ though. I bet I fucking do etc etc.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

...People like Linda Barker, Jonathan Wilkes...

I couldn't remember who he is and had to Google him. Fuck me, his Wikipedia entry is a piss-take, referring to "his friend Robbie Williams" nine times.

[cromby]

I've never heard of any of them either. I like AJ though. I bet I fucking do etc etc.

AJ is inhumanly beautiful but a fucking shocking presenter, she can barely get her words out. Struggle to imagine her leading on an interview with any real gravitas, like Davina had to do with Jade Goody's post-race row interview, or Emma had to do with Roxanne Pallet.

[gilbertharding]

Same! Although I use a glass from the bathroom or ask for one at the bar

And he voiced the xenomorph in Alien, and the whales in Orca.

Sure. Of course. But why didn't they just use a tape for the whale, and any old actor for the xenomorph? Why did it *have* to be Percy Edwards?

Ronnie Ronalde was much better at bird song anyway.

[George White]

Isn't he also Fizzgig in labyrinth?

He wasn't even the wartime radio/variety 'animal mimic' who went onto the biggest Hollywood career. Richard Haydn, alias 'Edwin Carp, Fish mimic' ended up as Uncle Max in The Sound of Music and Caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland.

[centristmelt]

AJ is inhumanly beautiful but a fucking shocking presenter, she can barely get her words out. Struggle to imagine her leading on an interview with any real gravitas, like Davina had to do with Jade Goody's post-race row interview, or Emma had to do with Roxanne Pallet.

I'd imagine they'd get Will to do the heavy stuff.

[iamcoop]

I couldn't remember who he is and had to Google him. Fuck me, his Wikipedia entry is a piss-take, referring to "his friend Robbie Williams" nine times.

Just read that at work and had to stifle laughter.

It's wonderfully crowbarred in at times as well.

'Wilkes attended City of Stoke-on-Trent Sixth Form College.[8] He is a boyhood fan of Port Vale like his friend Robbie Williams.[9]
While working for the BBC, he lived in London with his friend Robbie Williams in Williams' mansion.[10] Also while at the BBC, he met his wife Nikki. The couple live in Royal Wootton Bassett.[11]
In September 2013, Wilkes opened his own full-time performing arts college called Wilkes Academy.[12] The patrons of the academy include Ant and Dec, Arlene Phillips and his friend Robbie Williams.[13]'

[dontpaintyourteeth]

I reckon he's friends with Robbie Williams

[chip]

Going out with Robbie Walliams, kissing all the girls!

[Icehaven]

"There's two in the living room, one in the telly room, one in the kitchen, one in the hallway, one in my office, and one in the bedroom. There are seven! Seven Christmas trees."

The chef added that the grand total had dropped since last year because his wife had vowed to "calm it down a little bit". Seven Christmas trees certainly seemed the right way to do that.

The TV chef added that the outside tree had been replaced by an electric sleigh with reindeer on the front doorstep this time around. He also said that one of the trees has a star on top that spins around and shines snowflakes on the ceiling.

Gregg continued that there are four adults, two rescue dogs, and a toddler at his house this Christmas, so a tree each. The 58-year-old star chef continued that he plans to spend Christmas at home this year with a pub lunch on Christmas Eve and everything tradition on the big day itself, including a roast turkey, presents, and games in the evening.

Quite impressive they've managed to call him a chef 3 times in such a short piece when he isn't a chef at all, he's the "diner" on Masterchef and the presenter who marches around offending people on his other shows. I don't mind him though, and as someone else has mentioned that recent Modest Proposal update he was in was decent and not something I'd have expected him to turn up in so fair play to him.

[gilbertharding]

Quite impressive they've managed to call him a chef 3 times in such a short piece when he isn't a chef at all, he's the "diner" on Masterchef and the presenter who marches around offending people on his other shows. I don't mind him though, and as someone else has mentioned that recent Modest Proposal update he was in was decent and not something I'd have expected him to turn up in so fair play to him.

'Seasoned diner', wasn't it? Also 'Ingredients expert'.

I only listened to it occasionally, although I thought it was an interesting show, but his big media break was as one of the presenters of Veg Talk on Radio 4 - https://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/factual/vegtalk.shtml

I'm a bit confused though - he was definitely a greengrocer, but he's billed on that page as 'food broadcaster', and the other one (Charlie Hicks - who died in 2018 apparently) is the greengrocer. Perhaps that's an inkling of the reason Veg Talk ended more than a decade ago...

Have to say he's pretty hard to dislike. He's loud, obviously, 'larger than life' which can be annoying, but he's harmless enough. I say that as someone who's never likely to get married to and then inevitably divorced from him, of course.

[Icehaven]

'Seasoned diner', wasn't it? Also 'Ingredients expert'.

I only listened to it occasionally, although I thought it was an interesting show, but his big media break was as one of the presenters of Veg Talk on Radio 4 - https://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/factual/vegtalk.shtml

I'm a bit confused though - he was definitely a greengrocer, but he's billed on that page as 'food broadcaster', and the other one (Charlie Hicks - who died in 2018 apparently) is the greengrocer. Perhaps that's an inkling of the reason Veg Talk ended more than a decade ago...

Have to say he's pretty hard to dislike. He's loud, obviously, 'larger than life' which can be annoying, but he's harmless enough. I say that as someone who's never likely to get married to and then inevitably divorced from him, of course.

Yep I've definitely read that he was a greengrocer before finding fame, although anyone unfamiliar with him who read that other piece would think he was a chef. It's incredibly easy to imagine him on a market stall roaring "10 PLUMS FOR A PAAAHND, THAT'S RIGHT, HOW'D YA LIKE MY PLUMS DAAAARLIN'?" at passing grannies though.

[gilbertharding]

All too easy to imagine him barking in the street, yes, but apparently he was a warehouseman at (New) Covent Garden, before starting his own greengrocery which grew to have a turnover of £7.5M (it says here) which is a lot of sprouts.

You could say he knows his onions.

[George White]

Sure. Of course. But why didn't they just use a tape for the whale, and any old actor for the xenomorph? Why did it *have* to be Percy Edwards?

Ronnie Ronalde was much better at bird song anyway.

Apparently, his casting in Alien was Ridley Scott's idea.
According to Jonathan Sloman on twitter, 'My dad was dubbing editor on Company Of Wolves and got Percy Edwards in for wolf noises. The director (Neil Jordan) was as against the idea as Ridley Scott wasn't, so demanded they mix his howls off. He was satisfied the next mix. No-one told him they'd mixed off the real wolves and kept Percy."

I can do dog noises to Edwards' standard.

[neveragain]

I have it on good authority from someone who worked with Fred on one of his hundreds of side projects that he's a grade A cunt of the highest order.

I'd like to hear more about this.

[C_Larence]

I'd like to hear more about this.

I don't really have any more details, they worked with him on a music project about 5 or 6 years ago and said he was a complete nightmare, egotistical and nasty.

[neveragain]

I don't really have any more details, they worked with him on a music project about 5 or 6 years ago and said he was a complete nightmare, egotistical and nasty.

That's fair enough, and not entirely unexpected.

[jamiefairlie]

Yep I've definitely read that he was a greengrocer before finding fame, although anyone unfamiliar with him who read that other piece would think he was a chef. It's incredibly easy to imagine him on a market stall roaring "10 PLUMS FOR A PAAAHND, THAT'S RIGHT, HOW'D YA LIKE MY PLUMS DAAAARLIN'?" at passing grannies though.

It's manual labour!

[Brundle-Fly]

I remember Lulu rocking up in everything during the eighties, but at some point completely disappeared off the radar. I'm surprised she's never done the Glasto iconic/ ironic slot but she's probably left it too late and doesn't quite have enough hits that would resonate with the under fifties.

[Twonty Gostelow]

I remember Lulu rocking up in everything during the eighties, but at some point completely disappeared off the radar. I'm surprised she's never done the Glasto iconic/ ironic slot

She has played 5 miles down the road in Wehh-ehh-ehh-ehh-ehh-ehh-ehh-eh-eh-eh-ehhh-eh-eh-eh-eh-ells.

[Theoretical Dentist]

Yeah, Egg Wallace seems a good yolk.

He departed Inside the Factory in a cloud of suggestions of relatively low-grade cuntiness, although he's claimed it was so he can spend more time with his family. From Metro:

The MasterChef presenter was accused of being 'rude towards staff' and 'talking in a derogatory manner, especially to women' and was alleged to have been 'appalled' that he had caused 'such an offence.'

[...]

Gregg confirmed there was 'an argument' on the show but refused to elaborate further and insisted he left to spend more time with his son Sid, who is autistic and non-verbal.

He said: 'There was an argument in Inside The Factory. The reporting isn't accurate. There was an issue and I thought that was the perfect time to come out.

'Offending people? No, no. If you look at the headlines you can't see a story that matches those headlines. But there was an issue; I don't want to discuss what the issue was.

'But I thought it was a good time – Mum needs help with Sid at home, running around the country going to those factories – I thought it was a good time to give something up.'

[...]

The MasterChef presenter had been accused of engaging in comments that were deemed inappropriate and were understood to have related to the weight of women in the facility but were not sexual in nature.

A source told The Times the staff involved shared they would not be happy participating in the show if it was to return with Gregg at the helm.

There was a CaB thread about it.

[Rankersbo]

Quite impressive they've managed to call him a chef 3 times in such a short piece when he isn't a chef at all, he's the "diner" on Masterchef and the presenter who marches around offending people on his other shows. I don't mind him though, and as someone else has mentioned that recent Modest Proposal update he was in was decent and not something I'd have expected him to turn up in so fair play to him.

He's the one who plays dumb on Inside the Factory, pretending to have the insight of the least curious viewer. It doesn't come across as false, but someone who got where he is through the route he did can't have done so without being at some level smart.

[seepage]

I don't really have any more details, they worked with him on a music project about 5 or 6 years ago and said he was a complete nightmare, egotistical and nasty.

music?!

[DelurkedToHelp]

Was it this?

In 2015, Sirieix released a music track with Mark King from the band Level 42 and rapper XO MAN called "La Vie Continue" ("Life Goes On"). Sirieix describes it as "a song about love, loss and everything in between".[24]

[C_Larence]

No it was something more to do with First Dates I believe, although I'm not sure why he'd have had that much involvement in it.

Anyway, I know I defended Egg's honour previously but I feel it'd be remiss not to present this as evidence for the cunt column.

The guy is a monumental twat.

[dontpaintyourteeth]

Ggreg

[Icehaven]

I'm watching Masterchef The Professionals and Gregg has just asked a Brazilian contestant if they have banana sundaes in Brazil. Excellent.

[confettiinmyhair]

A defence is that these celebrities are driven. Rylan used X Factor as a way in to showbiz, there's dozens like him that crawl through the cracks in the glass ceiling of celebrity (usually held firm by talent and nepotism). Most of these people aren't particularly great at anything, they look alright, but they fail forwards, pushed forward by their own self-belief that they want to be famous. In some ways you've got to admire some of them for not only making a living but maybe setting themselves up for life.

You can start off on Love Island, then get on a dating reality show, then you get on Celebrity MasterChef, and then maybe you get a top gig on I'm a Celeb... or Strictly and that's job done.