Am I a shit? YOU decide!

[Borboski]

Printed email found on a sheet of A4 on my mothers table:

From: "Kris Parcells" <kris.parcells@ntlworld.com>
Date: 14 August 2012 19:22
To:
Subject: Veg soup

Here is the recipe for Mike's soup

*Ingredients*

Carrot
Celery
4 potatoes
Large onion
1 pint of stock

*Method*
Make stock by mixing 3 cubes of organic vegetable stock with 1 Knorr vegetable stock cube and 1 Knorr Vegetable stockpot.

Chop vegetables up very small and put in stock and cook.

We think this makes bowls of soup.

Hmm, does posting this on facebook make me a shit?  My brother reacted very badly; claiming I was taking the piss out of my mum.  I genuinely think this is pretty funny.

[mook]

am i a shit for e-mailing this thread to kris.parcells@ntlworld.com?

[The Boston Crab]

Your brother doesn't like it because your mum's apparent stupidity casts him in a poor light as her offspring. Equally, if it's true that you are a shit, this casts your mother in a poor light since she spawned and raised such a disrespectful sprog; this also casts your brother in the same poor light, by extension.

The only near-satisfactory solution is that yes, it is funny, you and your mum have a strong and loving relationship which allows you to gently poke fun at each other's foibles. Unfortunately, this continues to cast your brother in a poor light which then reflects back onto both of you.

You're all a waste of space, basically.

[biggytitbo]

Yes you are shit.

[BlodwynPig]

What's the joke?

[Jemble Fred]

'We think this makes bowls of soup'? Have they not tested the hypothesis? It seems pretty sound to me, unless you add large amounts of pasta, in which case it becomes a pasta dish.

[Borboski]

am i a shit for e-mailing this thread to kris.parcells@ntlworld.com?

I changed up the email in advance.

Well I thought that there's load of remarkable in it.
1) It's a recipe for the most simple soup - vegetables in pan and add water.  But they've bothered to email it.
2) It recommends THREE different sorts of stock cube?
3) It has FIVE total stock cubes for 1 pint of water
4) "We think this makes bowls of soup" is ambigous, it doesn't really make sense.

Anyway, I didn't think this reflected badly on my momma, maybe whoever sent it; it's just a strange thing to find on her table.  Also - she's really quite a good cook!

Admittedly, last time I was back I posted on facebook that I found out she'd been sky+'ing morning episodes of the Matthew Wright show to watch in the evening. 2 or 3 in a row.   Followed by Judge Judy episodes which she also sky+s. She's all right my old mum, gets me a takeaway curry or chinese whenever I come back which isn't to be sniffed at!

We were watching The Walking Dead together, she loves watching zombies getting their heads caved in, my old mum!

For the record, she started to peel all the potatoes, was huffing and puffing in the kitchen, and so I just made the fucking soup... 

[Johnny Townmouse]

That is the most disgusting sounding soup that I'm not sure it even counts as food.

No frying of the onions? What is she? A fucking barbarian?

[Jemble Fred]

4) "We think this makes bowls of soup" is ambigous, it doesn't really make sense.

It also sounds a bit like a top secret government health warning. More research is needed.

I also like how, when you get down to it, the directions amount to: cook. Get some ingredients together; cook. Here's a similar recipe:

FOOD: SERVES EATERS
1) Amass edible substances.
2) Prepare.
3) Enjoy!
4) Digest
5) Excrete
6) Repeat until death.

[Toast]

I'm going to cook this soup today. And I'm going to fucking enjoy it.

[mook]

don't forget to put a fair amount of salt in it.

[Steve Lampkins]

I changed up the email in advance.

This is totally not a bluffing, back-pedalling damage control attempt.

[Goldentony]

I didn't read the opening post, but yes, you are the ultimate turd

[Borboski]

Do you only get swearing if you're logged in?

I like the survey options.

The soup was extremely thick... she asked me to hand blend it. it was vegetable soup, what can you say?  I nipped out for some good bread, not a bad cheap lunch.

[Cerys]

Oh, come on.  It's obvious that the 'we think this makes bowls of soup' was just missing a number between the 'makes' and the 'bowls'.  Therefore, while you aren't necessarily a shit, you are at least a numpty.

But we love you anyway.

[Glebe]

The posting of details of family instructions for a huge variety of soups 'n savories is a positive boon for the hungry Facebook user!

[Borboski]

Oh, come on.  It's obvious that the 'we think this makes bowls of soup' was just missing a number between the 'makes' and the 'bowls'.  Therefore, while you aren't necessarily a shit, you are at least a numpty.

But we love you anyway.

Hahah no I didn't realise that.  I'm not sure.  She's got strange friends.