Lanyards

[Cloud]

I was that guy briefly when it was a novelty.

Currently the proximity card sits in my wallet (so yes I just wave my wallet at the door access like I'm pretending to be a rich twat) and lanyard in my drawer.

The other aspect is it's branded, and if I find myself yelling at some cunt for almost running me over on my lunch break I don't want to lose my job when they see the logo and decide I must be representing them.

[Vodkafone]

One Man, Two Lanyards is a play by Richard Bean, an English adaptation of Servant of Two Lanyards (Italian: Il servitore di due padroni), a 1743 Commedia dell'arte style comedy play by the Italian playwright Carlo Goldoni, and they're loving it on the Cookd and Bombd forum.

I strongly rate this post.

[Bentpitch]

One Man, Two Lanyards is a play by Richard Bean, an English adaptation of Servant of Two Lanyards (Italian: Il servitore di due padroni), a 1743 Commedia dell'arte style comedy play by the Italian playwright Carlo Goldoni, and they're loving it on the Cookd and Bombd forum.

This is lovely.

[pancreas]

They gayed up all the lanyards in the whole of the UK Higher Ed sector with rainbow straps. Like those Obama planes: 'We're dropping gay bombs on your poor people ... and it's fabulous babe.'

Gecko is a gay lanyard cunt and I hate him.

[imitationleather]

Because he's gay he's allowed to say that.

It's so annoying!

[Dex Sawash]

CABLANS

[Cloud]

So from the perspective of inside a lanyard office, I wonder if these are common: The Marcher.

We have this one guy. All day every day he's marching around. Fast paced, big heavy steps, long stride, head high, back straight.  March march march.  Ooh look at me I'm important (probably because related to a member of senior management) march march march.

Whenever I have to go anywhere in the building I'm almost guaranteed to find him marching along a corridor somewhere.  Sat at my desk in the open office he can often be seen going back and forward and taking longer routes than necessary or sometimes just doing laps.  At the coffee machine he'll start it going then march back and forth along the edge of the office until it's done. 

He must have no problem getting 10000 steps if that's his objective, heck it's probably closer to 100,000 but it depends how much of an effect the long stride has.

Not sure what he actually does, aside from wearing grooves into the ground. 

I've not seen if he wears his lanyard out to Tesco or not.  Quite possibly.

Anyone else have a Marcher in the office?

[madhair60]

Because he's gay he's allowed to say that.

It's so annoying!

even more annoying is that wearing a lanyard makes shirts awkward to lift

[Cloud]

Oh god I've ascended to the next level of Lanyard Wanker

I've been told to bring mine to an event we're sponsoring so I can use it to get in without a ticket  (been volunteered to go enjoy it and take some pics)
Just stroll up to the people at the gate waving it about like "I'm from here mate I'm a VIP"
Have my DSLR around my neck looking like the press and all that.

[Ian Drunken Smurf]

I prefer a security card in a leather cardholder (been using one from Links of London I got for as a freebie for 17 years now). Hoyed my work issue lanyard and plastic card holder in the bin.

[dissolute ocelot]

You need to hang your security card from your belt or trouser pocket. Force people to look at your crotch if they want to know who you are. "Left of the piss-stain, just above the hole you can see my y-fronts through, that's my credentials."

[flotemysost]

Anyone else have a Marcher in the office?

It's me (probably looking for my security pass) (also I'm not important)

Thrilling new development in my office where some of the pass-activated door sensor things have been replaced by touch-activated ones, with the twist that they deliver a not-insignificant electric shock when you use them (a few people have reported this, so it's not just me being charged up from all the marching). Starting to think it's a ploy to eliminate all the lanyard abdicators.

[Clatty McCutcheon]

I once worked in an office with 'the Roadrunner' (aka Meep-meep), a diminutive and fairly old woman who would charge down the corridors at immense speed - woe betide anyone who got in her way.