Gordon Ramsay’s The Apprentice

[Malcy]

Gordon Ramsay's new show is on now. Called Future Food Stars and sees him on the hunt for a new food and drink business.

Should be good and really hoping for an episode where he sends them around London with a list of ingredients to find before the time runs out.

[Wentworth Smith]

The best bit was the 'next time' preview at the end, Gordon gutting a fish wearing a blind fold. Proper tele.

[Malcy]

Gordon: "I want you to jump off a cliff into the sea"

"I can't swim"

"YOU'RE FIRED".

[dr beat]

This is living up to expectations so far.

Like the Twitter hashtag.

[dr beat]

It is however missing a couple of people with clipboards to frown at them.  Marcus Wareing and Monica Galetti?

[Malcy]

I like it. Can see the vegan one being a right pain in the arse as the weeks go on.

The amount of paprika in what looked like just a corn on the cob!

That woman was waiting an hour on her food. Some patience.

[dr beat]

Spoiler alert

Looks like it's already got a second series

[close]

[beanheadmcginty]

"I'm so glad you ordered the monkfish because I chose the monkfish but I'm not going to cook the monkfish but will repeatedly brag about choosing the monkfish" was such a bonkers approach he must surely be a plant?

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Does this fucker ever stop working? I imagine he's the sort of Dad who wants to spend every single minute of his holiday scuba diving or mountain biking, while the rest of his family just want to sit by the pool.

[oggyraiding]

Watched half of the first episode. Had to turn it off half way through as it was frustrating me a lot. One team had a successful chef specialising in Indian food, so you'd think they'd capitalise on that. Nah, toasties, they don't like Indian food in Cornwall. He could make a chutney, that would increase the value of the toasties. Nah leave it out, just cheese toasties, they don't like chutney in Cornwall. Amit's facial expressions were great, very Jim Halpert/Tim Canterbury.

[paruses]

Started in on this yesterday afternoon and was pleased to see I can continue today with ep 2 and blind fish-filleting.

Everyone in ep 1 came across as a c*nt (cunt) but think they edited it that way to highlight them as there are a load I hadn't noticed suddenly taking part in stabbing a salmon.

Main reason I stuck with it is Gordon's needless entrances (as it turns out). He clearly insisted on that helicopter entrance in the way Alan Partridge insisted on driving the digger he hires for the weekend in MMM. Am gutted that editing exists because I wanted to see everyone's patience waning watching a middle aged man swim towards them, followed by 3 minutes of him with his hands on his knees getting he breath and being sick saying "that's so salty....so salty". He's refined it a bit arriving on a quad bike but they all really struggle to say "oh wow, amazing" in a convincing way.

Watched half of the first episode. Had to turn it off half way through as it was frustrating me a lot. One team had a successful chef specialising in Indian food, so you'd think they'd capitalise on that. Nah, toasties, they don't like Indian food in Cornwall. He could make a chutney, that would increase the value of the toasties. Nah leave it out, just cheese toasties, they don't like chutney in Cornwall. Amit's facial expressions were great, very Jim Halpert/Tim Canterbury.

The toasties were shit. As a pure profit exercise - fine - but why was the execution so shit? They should all have been binned for not winning that. And that's not withstanding their dismissal that people have been surfing all day so they don't want that spicy muck. The stuff they needed to sell was onion bhajis and pakora with some pickles and tamarind sauce - basically shredded veg, oil, and some spices with either bulk bought stuff on the side or a bit of effort to lightly pickle some veg. Plus they have someone who knows how to cook it (presumably) on a commercial scale - I know you've said all that but it really pissed me off.

I did like GR saying "How much are you selling them for? 8 quid? If you sell them for 8 quid we will be banned from Cornwall".

Episode one reminded me of The Apprentice 6 series and 5 episodes in.

Right - back to watching this - they've just been told by The Man that they will be doing some outdoor dining experience which is, of course, Amazing, wow.

Please can more people watch this. I can tell I am going to love it.

[paruses]

Oh yea and the rationale behind the salmon hacking thing - you don't want to be in business with someone who wastes money made zero sense. They weren't just chucking salmon in the bin for a laugh they were asked to perform skilled labour on the spot with no experience. Why not get them to do a bit paediatric surgery as an eliminator: "this has been a crucial task - you don't want to be in business with someone who kills kids"

[gilbertharding]

You know old rugby players? Their ears? How they go?

That's Gordon Ramsay's entire fucking HEAD.

[Spode]

Gord being incredulous that someone could give honey to a vegan is a bit much given he once accidentally served a vegetarian meat in a pizza in one of the uk kitchen nightmares.

Unlikely that any of the contestants have spent every lockdown like me watching the episodes on a constant loop though so he got away with it.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

You know old rugby players? Their ears? How they go?

That's Gordon Ramsay's entire fucking HEAD.

I think potentially we could have another Simon Cowell on our hands. Wait till
el Gordo hits 60 and the aging process kicks in more, and the plastic surgery should increase. I imagine he lives in LA, so all the stupid bullshit surgical procedures are right there on his doorstep.

Edit: Oh fuck. Simo has been mentoring Gordo in the ways of the face:
https://www.mashed.com/347486/how-simon-cowell-convinced-gordon-ramsay-to-have-plastic-surgery/

[gilbertharding]

I think potentially we could have another Simon Cowell on our hands. Wait till
el Gordo hits 60 and the aging process kicks in more, and the plastic surgery should increase. I imagine he lives in LA, so all the stupid bullshit surgical procedures are right there on his doorstep.

No way is he making it to 60. He's got heart attack written all over him.

[paruses]

The one

Spoiler alert

with the 50s styling

[close]

must have a better business plan than

Spoiler alert

the young Lucy Benjamin

[close]

one.

Amazed how tolerant of the vegan one they all are.

Next week's look delightfully batshit and unnecessary. I get the impression Gordon has either sensed his own mortality or been cucked with these SAS: Who Dares Wins setups just to serve canapes. They reek of "YOU AM A STRONG MIDDLEAGED MAN"

[beanheadmcginty]

I hope one of these episodes opens with Ramsay surprising the contestants by cutting himself out of the gut of a cow.

[bgmnts]

Ramsey loses a LOT of appeal when he cant swear as much. And the contestants are so aggro with each other right from the off it felt a bit staged (yeah obviously but there's an art to it surely).

Will keep going with it though, the lad being unable to say good afternoon or flambé the dessert was funny.

[Alberon]

Missed the first one, but watched the second. As the thread title says it's a shameless rip-off of the Apprentice and, frankly, the chefs they have here made more of a hash of it than a pack of hooting baboons from Suge's show would have.

It already feels a very tired format despite only being two episodes into the first series. It's on after the watershead, let Ramsay swear more and perhaps even slap the contestants when they are especially stupid.

Points for having Ramsay arsing about for much of the time on a quad bike, though.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

How many times has Ramsey taken his shirt off?

[paruses]

How many times has Ramsey taken his shirt off?

Zero. He looks quite flabby beneath the Under Armour type tops he insists on wearing.

I can't remember what his title is in the credits but it's something like "Prison Daddy and Creative Powerhouse: Gordon Ramsay" .

[Ray Travez]

Main reason I stuck with it is Gordon's needless entrances (as it turns out). He clearly insisted on that helicopter entrance in the way Alan Partridge insisted on driving the digger he hires for the weekend in MMM. Am gutted that editing exists because I wanted to see everyone's patience waning watching a middle aged man swim towards them, followed by 3 minutes of him with his hands on his knees getting he breath and being sick saying "that's so salty....so salty".

That part was clearly edited to make it look like he was dropping into the sea right in front of them, but it's a surfer's beach, and therefore shallow for a long way out. So what they actually saw was a black shape dropping a few feet out of a distant helicopter.

I tried to work out which I thought was more embarrassing- this lukewarm stunt, or Alan Sugar as a computer-generated superhero farting around in space.

[paruses]

The Lorrshugga (maybe when he was plain old Surralan) that sticks in my mind was when his wrinkly old face turned up to address them on an iPad cable-tied to a disguised Segway. Still makes me laugh when I think about it.

These though are just embarrassing cool-dad stunts (see also the fist bump with the Cornwall-based hipsters that definitely had to be reshot as the first take was the lads going for a handshake and Gordo going for, probably, a high-five).

The quad bike reminded me of this:

Can't wait for when he skateboards in with his baseball cap on backwards.

[Ray Travez]

Heheh! Here are my punts-

1) parachutes into a cornfield to introduce a task involving artisan breadmaking
2) my wife is convinced he will arrive in a diver's costume at some point. Possibly from the sea, possibly Peckham High Street. Task- gut a squid?
3) Gordon simply materialises with a Tardis sound effect

[iamcoop]

Gordon Ramsay's episode of Desert Island Discs is a wild ride. Highlights include;

- Explaining why he picked Yellow by Coldplay as it reminds him of driving through London at night in his Porsche.
- Dedicating Sex Bomb by Tom Jones and Mousse T to his six year old daughter.

I don't think he likes women or his family that much!

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Hmm. I've got the sneaking suspicion here that he might be a cunt. Is he any different when a camera isn't pointed at his face? It rarely happens, so who knows?

[jobotic]

I have no idea why people want to watch this man. He's utterly charmless, unpleasant and uninteresting. He also seems to have no sense of humour although I can see that his preening self-regard is quite amusing for about ten seconds.

And food is such a dull subject.

[Emma Raducanu]

Can't stand Gordon Ramsay but I will ask here, if anyone can locate Marco Pierre White's BBC Maestro online cooking course for free, please PM me. I've never wanted anything as much. Pure metling butter asmr.

[The Dog]

How many times has Ramsey taken his shirt off?

Really hard to say because he was a footballer and footballers are always changing shirts. 100?