Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 28, 2024, 07:45:02 PM

Login with username, password and session length

The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW: HAHALLOWEEN III: Shriekin’ of the Witch

Started by The Mollusk, August 23, 2021, 07:16:40 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

gilbertharding

Quote from: pancreas on August 26, 2021, 12:57:24 PM
I believe he is saying Crisps has very little experience of nuance, beyond being dimly aware of its existence.
In that case I get it. I was trying to back-form a pun.

Dex Sawash


Echo Valley 2-6809

Quote from: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on August 26, 2021, 01:55:56 PM
I find half the challenge is just trying to keep track of what the question actually is by the time Paxman has finished reading it.

"Born in 1739 and closely associated with the Vienna Movement, Thomas Vencil was a leading proponent of a school of thought often said to be a forerunner to influential works by Mouse Jacob Francis and Guillaume dé Marseille, whose maternal great aunt was fifth in line to the duchy of Kreppelstonia - the ruling family of which having been overthrown in the Haymarket Rebellion of 1846. Of which invention - now an integral part of the computer security systems, created by Timothy Wyvern, for use in online banking - is one of the leaders of the revolutionary militia reputed to have said, "It is a silly thing and not much use to anyone, save that they find themselves in possession of a confused and hungry goat"?

Superb.

mothman


pancreas

Quote from: The Dog on August 26, 2021, 06:45:34 PM
You have to think about it a bit, but I'll give you some clues:

1. miso is a type of soup
2. stew is a type of soup
3. Death by drowning in soup is quite unusual, and would require a coroner to investigate.
4. It would also require a lot of soup.
5. My friend, who drowned, ate a lot of soup
6. This made him VERY unpopular
7. His life had spiralled out of control recently due to his obsession with soup.
8. Shop-bought soup has a very high salt content.
9. He claimed I owed him money, but I did not.
10. So I wasn't that upset when he died.
11. He had fallen out with his soup supplier, a very angry man.
12. This led him to some very questionable sources of soup.
13. Soup is basically liquid melancholy.

Hope this helps.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

Quote from: touchingcloth on August 27, 2021, 12:02:27 AM
Is it the book where the tiger shits in daddy's bed and the sheets were too rough on his anus, then shits in mummy's bed and the sheets were too soft and fluffy, then shits in the baby's bed and the sheets were just absolutely perfect for wiping so he just shits and shits and shits from his bummy bum bum until the house falls down?
fuck you cloth, this is the good chair

who cares

Quote from: Bernice on August 26, 2021, 09:55:09 AM
My grandad used to do this, back in the day. He'd nip down to the local bakers with a big syringe full of extra cream, topping up profiteroles and eclairs until they were fit to burst. "Cor," the waifs would say, "what with all the delicious cream inside it, this ha'penny choux bun'll be sure to tide me over til St Swithin's Day. And the solstice not yet upon us!"

They were different times, of course, times of community, of loving your neighbours. You probably couldn't get away with it now, because of health and safety, and because the "cream" was his cum.

Paul Calf


Butchers Blind

Quote from: touchingcloth on August 27, 2021, 02:25:31 PM
Should have called it Arsed Mate, Rick's, and it's all about Morpheus helping Neo escape from Richard Gere's arse and when you're in the Arsed Mate, Rick's the Sentinels look like scary machines but when you gobble down the pill and escape you realise they're just dead-eyed gerbils, clocking in for yet another shift of scurrying round Gere's colon.

Dex Sawash


The Yesterday (shit film) thread is bringing the laffs from somewhere in page 17 onward. Well done everyone.

The Mollusk

Yeah this got me going:

Quote from: JamesTC on August 25, 2021, 02:11:44 PM
I estimate that it would take around 130,000 years to suck ever man on the planet off.

The great sadness would come when you reach the end and you realise the only man you couldn't suck off is yourself.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy



Elderly Sumo Prophecy

You know that thing at the top that says "Show new replies to your posts"? We were just posting in the thread so we'd get updates. More or less a bump.

idunnosomename

it is quite wonderful how a shit film thread turned into a discussion about how the baby Jesus might suck off everyone on the planet

Captain Z


chveik


Kankurette

Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on August 27, 2021, 11:34:14 AM
Wally Butterworth sounds like the name of a Corrie character. Being thrown out of the Rovers Return for his fascist views, Annie Walker telling him "You're barred, you revolting Nazi".

Ferris


who cares

G Torso in the thread about internal monologues. Just fucking fantastic. I would read that all day & next week as well


touchingcloth

I haven't even clicked into it, but the thread title in HS Art of "too fucked for the Gulf war" has me going.


Kankurette

Quote from: touchingcloth on August 30, 2021, 10:23:53 AM
What does it mean as a verb? To shove a medal up your arse, specifically, as Ian Rock would say, sideways?

E.g. "Sorry, I am disinclined to go for a jog today, for I have just thrice medalled and my anus is like a bouncy castle's filling pipe."


Rich Uncle Skeleton

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on August 28, 2021, 10:58:16 AM
No context required (I'm not even reading the threads these days so I'm couldn't provide it anyway).

Took me a moment but yeah that's great




Gulftastic