Cricket 2022: The Thuglife Era (Stokes, Woakes, Foakes, and plenty of chokes)

[sevendaughters]

Tempting fate on purpose with this new thread.



Here's some old ones:
2021: https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?topic=88674.0
2020: https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?topic=78495.0
2019 pt. 2: https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?topic=74780.0
2019: https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?topic=73163.0

[Inspector Norse]

England are still very likely to lose this after Stokes holes out to deep midwicket on 74, but you just know that if they do win everyone will see it as the dawn of a bright new era - "that Bairstow innings of 16 and bowled set the tone for how we want to play" - rather than just one of those games where Stokes comes off.

[Inspector Norse]

There we go. All over in half an hour.

[iamcoop]

Can already see Aggers' comments now:

"Bairstow showed us all what he can do with a pacy and much needed 16 - he'll be disappointed with how he got out but that'll give him the confidence to get that big score he knows is just around the corner"

Dreck

[Thursday]

So... 5 for 8 after about half an hour tomorrow?

[mikeyg27]

I was there today. Some observations:

- Seeing a Broad mentalism spell in person is quite fun.
- I don't think anyone in the ground knew what was going on with the run-out. We all thought they were going to DRS for an LBW.
- I can only assume that Lees was distracted by the All-Stars kids that were about to come on for the lunch interval because that was the most dogshit leave
- Jamieson is a Big Boy and was the most threatening bowler. Bol
- Stokes is always so angry with himself when he fucks up that he's probably pathologically unable to bluff and stand his ground. I thought he was going to get a century after his reprieve. Ah well.

The thing is, even if England manage to stumble over the finish line tomorrow, what have we learned? Root and Stokes are the only two batsmen we can trust? Because I FUCKING KNEW THAT ALREADY.

[Thursday]

Not that it'll matter, but at least if we fail from here the focus will be more on the batting, rather than the bowling being less than a perfect against a resilient defense on day 2

[Crenners]

Too easy.

[Inspector Norse]

England would have won this already if the umpires were calling Jamieson's back-foot no-balls.

[iamcoop]

Anyone that ever doubted these lads should kill themselves, get reanimated and then kill themselves again.

[shoulders]

Well done Root.

Again, proves nothing we didn't know already. Other than Root and Stokes everyone else did fuck all or the next thing to it.

[Thursday]

Never in doubt. Love this country, our boys did her maj proud on platty joobs weekend 👏

[Thursday]

Well done Root.

Again, proves nothing we didn't know already. Other than Root and Stokes everyone else did fuck all or the next thing to it.

Feel like Foakes deserves some credit there. It is what you'd expect of someone in his position, it's just others routinely haven't.

[sevendaughters]

was a bit insipid by NZ bowlers but well done Rooty and also Foakes was there, the thread title paid off

[mikeyg27]

Feel like Foakes deserves some credit there. It is what you'd expect of someone in his position, it's just others routinely haven't.

Yeah, Foakes deserves a proper run now. He's shown he can at least hang around with another batter which is an improvement.

was a bit insipid by NZ bowlers but well done Rooty and also Foakes was there, the thread title paid off

Southee was definitely flagging yesterday. Also, Kane got spooked by Stokes bullying Patel but he probably should have brought him back when Stokes got out.

[Pauline Walnuts]

Are they Booing or shouting Root-erns?

[shoulders]

Sorry, yes, Foakes defended well in one innings.

[poo]

Heroes! End of!

[sevendaughters]

High on the new era where we are definitely the best in the world at tests a mate has just flogged me a ticket for the Headingley test and I am going in the same clobber I have had on for platty juubs (Union flag paper bowler hat, braces, trousers, clogs)

[iamcoop]

Feels so good to be the best in the world at Tests.

[shoulders]

Exciting to know we are now capable of winning tests requiring us to score a total of 420 runs over 2 innings! Baby steps!

[Thursday]

Ban shoulders for his lack of patriotism. Trying to bring this country down to his level.

[shoulders]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/61687178

Irritating quote from Lees buried towards the end of this article.

[sevendaughters]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/61687178

Irritating quote from Lees buried towards the end of this article.

lol talk about setting expectations low

[gilbertharding]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/61687178

Irritating quote from Lees buried towards the end of this article.

You'd think someone who plays cricket for a living would understand the game a bit better than that.

[shoulders]

Not sure where Crawley fits into the Volvo opener analogy. Neither adhesive, slow or reliable.

[Crenners]

Fuck me that's depressing

Wonder what Baz had to say, hopefully few brain balls in the nets

[Pranet]

Angrily turned off the Gloucestershire Somerset game after four Somerset batsmen got out by twatting the ball up the air as high as possible and unsurprisingly got caught. Annoyed that sport has the ability to annoy me this much.

[mikeyg27]

Angrily turned off the Gloucestershire Somerset game after four Somerset batsmen got out by twatting the ball up the air as high as possible and unsurprisingly got caught. Annoyed that sport has the ability to annoy me this much.

Thank you for your service. It was just the inspiration the lads needed.

[Pranet]

Well of course they did. Fucks sake those cunting cunts.