If money was no object...

[superthunderstingcar]

I'd live the lifestyle of Francisco Scaramanga from The Man With the Golden Gun - private island, antique-looking Chinese ship but with all mod-cons inside, car-that-turns-into-a-plane, fancy suits, third nipple, the lot.

Also I'd pay to have Blakes 7 remade with the biggest of big name actors, the best CGI SFX money can buy, and the original '70s/'80s BBC scripts with not a comma to be changed.

Edit: and I'd be the first to post on every new page of this thread!

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I'd buy a big house for all my CaB buds to live in, and you'd never leave and we'd all live happily ever after.

[badaids]

I'd pay a team of scientists to research and develop the ANUS PLOUGH and issue one to every human on the planet with an anus.

[RetroRobot]

Seconding the "pack it down me urethra" idea ta xoxoxo

[Mr_Simnock]

by as many large land estates as possible and re-wild the lot, something I could happily spend the rest of my life doing

[Butchers Blind]

Ice cream and guns.

[Bum Flaps]

i) Build modestly sized map room
ii) fill with maps
iii) have various nice wanders around some of the places on some of those maps

[Replies From View]

i) Build modestly sized map room
ii) fill with maps
iii) have various nice wanders around some of the places on some of those maps

The joke will be on you when you realise you can't locate the map room because the map for locating the map room will be inside the map room with all the other maps in the map room.

[dr beat]

Probably just give it all to animal charities.

In my experience hummingbirds tend to invest unwisely.

[checkoutgirl]

I'd also have a coach hire company called Seagull Tours

This coach of seagulls is going to Somalia, but should they?

Second the VHS shop idea. I sometimes fantasise about opening a video shop at the corner on the end of my street. I'd stock it with videos and a few DVDs, put in those cardboard cutouts and posters, old flat screen TVs showing films on mute. We'd have video of the week, membership cards and that. Be great. I'd check in every now and again to make sure it wasn't going to rack and ruin.

By the way the stupid idea of having all the same video in a shop has really been done, except the film was Jerry Maguire as opposed to mainly Mannequin and one Mannequin 2.

[Sebastian Cobb]

have some sort of smithers like goon who can fetch me bog roll when i go for a shit in a pub that has no bog roll.

[McDead]

I'd live the lifestyle of Francisco Scaramanga from The Man With the Golden Gun - private island, antique-looking Chinese ship but with all mod-cons inside, car-that-turns-into-a-plane, fancy suits, third nipple, the lot.

Also I'd pay to have Blakes 7 remade with the biggest of big name actors, the best CGI SFX money can buy, and the original '70s/'80s BBC scripts with not a comma to be changed.

Edit: and I'd be the first to post on every new page of this thread!

Wish this would happen. The Blake's 7 stuff, not some jerk having a scaramanga island

[touchingcloth]

Buy all you cunts a nice big bag of drugs.

Would we get to choose them or would it be more of a selection box?

Some of these fantasies are a bit Dwight Schrute dreaming he co-owns a hotel with satan.

[DJ Bob Hoskins]

i's spend it all on crypto.

[ImmaculateClump]

Paddle boarding with Lisa Scott-Lee

[badaids]

This coach of seagulls is going to Somalia, but should they?

Second the VHS shop idea. I sometimes fantasise about opening a video shop at the corner on the end of my street. I'd stock it with videos and a few DVDs, put in those cardboard cutouts and posters, old flat screen TVs showing films on mute. We'd have video of the week, membership cards and that. Be great. I'd check in every now and again to make sure it wasn't going to rack and ruin.

By the way the stupid idea of having all the same video in a shop has really been done, except the film was Jerry Maguire as opposed to mainly Mannequin and one Mannequin 2.

I'm not surprised the idea has been done before - it's an excellent business model.  Who has stolen my idea - I'll have to sue them.

[Buelligan]

Would we get to choose them or would it be more of a selection box?

Some of these fantasies are a bit Dwight Schrute dreaming he co-owns a hotel with satan.

Ungrateful.  Ungracious to quibble.  You take what you're given and be happy.

[bakabaka]

Buy all you cunts a nice big bag of drugs.

Ungrateful.  Ungracious to quibble.  You take what you're given and be happy.

Mostly MDMA then?

[Alberon]

I'd be an Elon Musk without being a cunt.

Well, okay, not a complete cunt, then.

[Buelligan]

Mostly MDMA then?

Not saying.  If it were though, none of this new tat.  Proper old time gear.

[JaDanketies]

funnel billions into nuclear fusion technology
buy off politicians internationally to promote the rapid conversion to low-carbon energy with the eventual criminalisation of dirty fuel
invest in enough green energy production to power the planet
get healthcare in the third world up to the standards of the developed world
buy an advanced missile defence system that covers every country on the globe so I can veto wars

then probably go on a nice holiday and get a balcony fitted to the bedroom

[KennyMonster]

What do you mean "If"?

Money is not an object.

The vast majority of money being used worldwide doesn't exist, its just made-up numbers.

[Gulftastic]

Set up a not for profit tv channel showing classic soaps, with various discussion shows about each one. All the advertising profits would go to charity.

Build new stadiums for lots of RL teams in West Yorkshire, and having each be close to a train station.

[Paul Calf]

Solid gold toilet.

[dissolute ocelot]

Re-enact the film Hotel For Dogs but with bunny rabbits.

Make a sequel to ET called EET. There would probably be 2 extra-terrestrials and it would be a bit like Wall-E and a bit like My Summer of Love.

Rename Perth (Scotland) to Shitty Bit In The Middle. Although then people might confuse it with Luton rather than Perth Australia, so I'd also make Luton better.

Open a version of Ripley's Believe It Or Not that was actually believable.

Pay a team of chefs to engineer the perfect vegan pizza.

Become Indiana Jones (or failing that, Lara Croft).

Learn to ride every animal.

[madhair60]

I'd basically have everyone who even slightly annoyed me killed.

[madhair60]

even if they annoyed me once, in the most minor possible way. i would have them killed.

[checkoutgirl]

buy an advanced missile defence system

From who? You'd have to buy a big island and all the talent to develop the system. It would take decades.

[checkoutgirl]

go on a nice holiday

You haven't got time for a holiday. You're developing a missile defence system!

[JaDanketies]

From who? You'd have to buy a big island and all the talent to develop the system. It would take decades.

Don't BAE or someone already make them? The Israelis and the Yanks have them already. If money was no object I'm sure that endless cash could facilitate speeding up the process by a couple of years.

You haven't got time for a holiday. You're developing a missile defence system!

I'd hire a project manager