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August 17, 2022, 11:05:11 AM

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popcorn to receive multiple life-sentences!

Started by Glebe, July 04, 2022, 07:40:03 AM

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Glebe



"popcorn, I hereby sentence you, m'lud, to multiple life-sentences for crim'nal doings. The bill has come due. You have been tried and convicted by twelve good men and true and will face the guillotine. Sorry, I mean multiple life-sentences, more's the pity."

THOSE were the words of Judge Nutmeg this morning as he sentenced unpopular forum sheep popcorn to a life in the slammer. But he added this personal note as the farmyard menace was taken down from the stand:

"May I just add on a personal note what an honour it is to sentence you. In my many years of false convictions I have never seen such robberies, murders and other multifarious doings from a woollen foe. Take him down!"

Justice has been done!

Replies From View

THESE LIFE SENTENCES WILL RUN IN PARALLEL, BUT STAGGERED LIKE WHEN THEY SING:

ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL
and then the next ones ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL and there's a third batch ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL

and they're all singing their lines on top of one another and it's a bit cacophonous but everyone's in a state of dopamine-entrenched bliss so there's a waft of pre-cum emanating from them.


So the multiple life sentences will last about 150 years rather than the 400 he'd get if they were run entirely in series.

Best I can offer, sorry.

Dr Rock


Replies From View

Somebody was meant to hold him down during all that.  Whose job was it?

Dr Rock


Dr Rock

Latest news is popcorn has made his way to the Isle Of Wight and is convincing the local in-breds he's some kind of Pagan Fertility God.

idunnosomename

It's all going down at the purple-headed mountain!

Replies From View

Quote from: Dr Rock on July 04, 2022, 11:11:12 AMBig Daddy. He didn't turn up.

Someone gonna take him off the payroll?  That's three bruisers he's been absent for holding down this week.

Replies From View

Quote from: Dr Rock on July 04, 2022, 11:13:02 AMLatest news is popcorn has made his way to the Isle Of Wight and is convincing the local in-breds he's some kind of Pagan Fertility God.

Oh no, this is ending up like the Nicholas Cage version rather than the Edward Woodward one.  😡

Replies From View

popcorn has a fetish for bees; please don't allow this to play out.

popcorn


Glebe


Poobum

Heard he got stuck in the shitpipe as he is perfectly rotund.

Glebe


popcorn

still haven't received my life sentences. can I expect them soon?

Glebe

Quote from: popcorn on July 05, 2022, 01:10:26 AMstill haven't received my life sentences. can I expect them soon?

Silence in the court!