Cook'd and Bomb'd

Forums => General Bullshit => Topic started by: bgmnts on September 06, 2020, 10:15:11 PM

Title: Fibbing about employment
Post by: bgmnts on September 06, 2020, 10:15:11 PM
On a credit application to buy a product in instalments? Has anyone done this? If so, do they ever check and how illegal is it if caught?
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on September 06, 2020, 10:16:21 PM
Quote
how illegal is it if caught?

Fraud?

Somewhat. Somewhat.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Shit Good Nose on September 06, 2020, 10:18:05 PM
I would also be inclined to steer you away from doing that.

What's the product and/or how much are we talking?
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: bgmnts on September 06, 2020, 10:18:21 PM
Is the punishment severe? Someone I know has a Very account in a relative's name (with their permission) and they've never been done for it so just wanted to know how risky it was or if she is just lucky.

I would also be inclined to steer you away from doing that.

What's the product and/or how much are we talking?

It's just a games console and it's around £250.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Shit Good Nose on September 06, 2020, 10:21:42 PM
I don't know the ins and outs of it, so I'll just give you a REALLY lame answer/advice - consider borrowing from a friend or family, or just save up.  I mean I assume you WILL be paying it back...
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: bgmnts on September 06, 2020, 10:25:13 PM
Of course I will, I'm just not employed.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Poisson Du Jour on September 06, 2020, 10:28:04 PM
It's just a games console and it's around £250.

Great investment mate, have you considered a career in finance?
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Marner and Me on September 06, 2020, 10:28:21 PM
Sounds a really good sound plan, at worst case I'd assume they'd repossess the item from you as it is a breach of contract.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Tony Tony Tony on September 06, 2020, 10:28:39 PM
What is Big Jez the Daddy of D-wing getting for Xmas?

Answer. bgmnts
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Shit Good Nose on September 06, 2020, 10:29:07 PM
Do you know what sort of term and interest rate you're looking at?  Appreciate rates are low at the moment, but obviously the longer the term the higher the rate etc.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: bgmnts on September 06, 2020, 10:31:39 PM
Great investment mate, have you considered a career in finance?

Not really. I dont consider things I buy to be investments.

Do you know what sort of term and interest rate you're looking at?  Appreciate rates are low at the moment, but obviously the longer the term the higher the rate etc.

Think its about 24%. Would be paying like 300 quid over a year period or something.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: itsfredtitmus on September 06, 2020, 10:33:02 PM
It's just a games console and it's around £250.
If your account is longstanding just buy it on Amazon and when it arrives complain that it wasn't in the box but  that none of the shipping packaging was faulted with so they don't start a report with the courier
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Shit Good Nose on September 06, 2020, 10:35:19 PM
Think its about 24%. Would be paying like 300 quid over a year period or something.

Ooff, 24% - that's not one of those payday loans places is it?

If it was me I'd follow my initial advice of borrowing from a friend or family member, or saving up - if you can afford to pay £300 in a year, then you should have £250 saved up by early next summer.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: touchingcloth on September 06, 2020, 10:37:13 PM
Are you able to get a credit card? That might be the way to go if so, as you can potentially get a 0% it’s one and transfer the balance if you don’t manage to pay it off before it changes to a different rate. You need to be disciplined with what you charge to the card, though.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: bgmnts on September 06, 2020, 10:39:01 PM
Ooff, 24% - that's not one of those payday loans places is it?

If it was me I'd follow my initial advice of borrowing from a friend or family member, or saving up - if you can afford to pay £300 in a year, then you should have £250 saved up by early next summer.

No no its just a buy now pay later deal. The flexi credit type deals you get with currys or argos or whatever.

Are you able to get a credit card? That might be the way to go if so, as you can potentially get a 0% it’s one and transfer the balance if you don’t manage to pay it off before it changes to a different rate. You need to be disciplined with what you charge to the card, though.

Nah my credit rating is rock bottom.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on September 06, 2020, 10:40:59 PM
Are you able to get a credit card? That might be the way to go if so, as you can potentially get a 0% it’s one and transfer the balance if you don’t manage to pay it off before it changes to a different rate. You need to be disciplined with what you charge to the card, though.

I agree, if you are offered such a card and are disciplined to pay off the instalments its a better option to get the item you desire quickly and without additional cost.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: metaltax on September 06, 2020, 10:41:36 PM
Someone I know has a Very account in a relative's name (with their permission) and they've never been done for it so just wanted to know how risky it was or if she is just lucky.

Well, they're not lucky, they just don't have a Very account; their relative does. Very won't give a shit but the relative is on the line to pay it back, and will suffer the consequences if they can't.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Shit Good Nose on September 06, 2020, 10:42:07 PM
Are you able to get a credit card? That might be the way to go if so, as you can potentially get a 0% it’s one and transfer the balance if you don’t manage to pay it off before it changes to a different rate. You need to be disciplined with what you charge to the card, though.

Yeah, good shout.  And the bit in bold cannot be stressed enough - treat a credit card like a debit card.  Don't be one of those idiots that thinks they've got £3000 of free money all of a sudden.


No no its just a buy now pay later deal. The flexi credit type deals you get with currys or argos or whatever.

Aaaahh, right.  Sorry, I misunderstood.  24% still sounds quite a lot to me, but as long as it's legit.

But, sorry to say I can't - and don't really want to - answer about the employment status fibbing thing.


Well, they're not lucky, they just don't have a Very account; their relative does. Very won't give a shit but the relative is on the line to pay it back, and will suffer the consequences if they can't.

True, and those consequences can affect their credit rating, which then goes on to affect their ability to borrow for things like mortgages and larger loans (cars, home improvements etc).
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: touchingcloth on September 06, 2020, 10:43:29 PM
Nah my credit rating is rock bottom.

My hunch is that finance on goods runs through the same checks as for credit cards, so whatever fibbing you had in mind should transfer to getting a credit card. 24% is fucking high, though, so perhaps that’s a trade off for laxer checks.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: itsfredtitmus on September 06, 2020, 10:43:59 PM
get the man scamming jeff benzos
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: bgmnts on September 06, 2020, 10:49:41 PM
My hunch is that finance on goods runs through the same checks as for credit cards, so whatever fibbing you had in mind should transfer to getting a credit card. 24% is fucking high, though, so perhaps that’s a trade off for laxer checks.

The interest rates on credit cards specifically designed to increase your credit scores are between 26 and 40% I think.

I just assumed a one off purchase would be less risky than an ongoing credit card.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: touchingcloth on September 06, 2020, 10:53:03 PM
Yeah, good shout.  And the bit in bold cannot be stressed enough - treat a credit card like a debit card.  Don't be one of those idiots that thinks they've got £3000 of free money all of a sudden.

Yeah, and I’ll stress it some more. I spent a year doing the stoozing thing once - essentially living within my means and using credit cards as if they were debit cards - and keeping on top of it all was more stress than it was worth.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: touchingcloth on September 06, 2020, 10:57:32 PM
The interest rates on credit cards specifically designed to increase your credit scores are between 26 and 40% I think.

I just assumed a one off purchase would be less risky than an ongoing credit card.

It’s less risky in that you can’t use the credit for anything else even if you’re tempted to, but you can achieve the same with a credit card by using it once and then destroying the thing. I’d say you’d be better off getting one of those credit-improving cards as at least that way you get the option of transferring the balance whereas I feel with a single purchase they’d have you over more of a barrel. If you’re confident that you’ll be able to pay it off within the relevant period then it’s a moot point, but if you’re at all worried that you won’t be able to then I’d lean towards a credit card. And once again, stressing that you shouldn’t start treating it as free money and charging other things to it.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: bgmnts on September 06, 2020, 10:59:02 PM
It’s less risky in that you can’t use the credit for anything else even if you’re tempted to, but you can achieve the same with a credit card by using it once and then destroying the thing. I’d say you’d be better off getting one of those credit-improving cards as at least that way you get the option of transferring the balance whereas I feel with a single purchase they’d have you over more of a barrel. If you’re confident that you’ll be able to pay it off within the relevant period then it’s a moot point, but if you’re at all worried that you won’t be able to then I’d lean towards a credit card. And once again, stressing that you shouldn’t start treating it as free money and charging other things to it.

I'd definitely be able to pay it every month, my only worry is the level of risk that they'll actually care if i'm employed or not and will investigate it.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: icehaven on September 06, 2020, 11:01:54 PM
The interest rates on credit cards specifically designed to increase your credit scores are between 26 and 40% I think.


I know fuck all about credit ratings and cards etc. but if having a good credit rating means you're a safe and responsible borrower then surely it doesn't tally that you'd also take out a credit card with 26 - 40% interest?
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: touchingcloth on September 06, 2020, 11:04:27 PM
I'd definitely be able to pay it every month, my only worry is the level of risk that they'll actually care if i'm employed or not and will investigate it.

Personally I wouldn’t be arsed about that risk at all. They’re not going to throw you in jail or fine you if you’ve told a little lie, and it’s their own lookout if their checking before making the loan doesn’t reveal the fib, so my main worry would be around interest rates fucking you if you can’t keep up with the payments. I had a friend who bought an Aliens box set on store credit at university, and the £30 cos turned into a debt of close to (and maybe more than) £1,000.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Goldentony on September 06, 2020, 11:06:12 PM
IS BREAKING THE FUCKING LAW ILLEGAL
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: touchingcloth on September 06, 2020, 11:06:53 PM
I know fuck all about credit ratings and cards etc. but if having a good credit rating means you're a safe and responsible borrower then surely it doesn't tally that you'd also take out a credit card with 26 - 40% interest?

It doesn’t mean you’re safe and responsible, it just means you have a track record of a) taking out credit, and b) not defaulting on it. Before I got my first credit card I had never had a loan apart from my student one, and my credit rating was in the dirt because I’d never had any credit to not default on.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Shit Good Nose on September 06, 2020, 11:11:57 PM
It doesn’t mean you’re safe and responsible, it just means you have a track record of a) taking out credit, and b) not defaulting on it. Before I got my first credit card I had never had a loan apart from my student one, and my credit rating was in the dirt because I’d never had any credit to not default on.

Quite so. 

I think it works differently now, but when I first took out a loan in my mid 20s it took me ages to find someone who would lend to me as I'd never taken out any loans or bought anything on credit before, nor had I ever gone into debt, so I had a credit rating of zero.  In the end I had to take it on the chin and borrow from my bank at two or three times the interest rate I would've got from most other lenders.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: bgmnts on September 06, 2020, 11:12:24 PM
IS BREAKING THE FUCKING LAW ILLEGAL

I know its illegal.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: icehaven on September 06, 2020, 11:29:12 PM
I got curious about credit ratings and so on so I just did mine with two different sites and they were wildly different. Is that normal? Do the ones you can look up yourself actually mean anything?
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Shit Good Nose on September 06, 2020, 11:36:37 PM
I got curious about credit ratings and so on so I just did mine with two different sites and they were wildly different. Is that normal? Do the ones you can look up yourself actually mean anything?

It might be that their scales are different - I think the most common are maximums of 750 and 950 or something like that. 

Yeah - the free ones you can do yourself are legit - whenever you apply for a large loan or a mortgage and you have to provide the credit check info yourself, it's always the free ones that brokers and specialist lenders recommend.  Banks will typically run their own, but they'll also just use one like Equifax or Experian, both of which you can run yourself.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: The Mollusk on September 06, 2020, 11:52:38 PM
Don't be one of those idiots that thinks they've got £3000 of free money all of a sudden.

I did this once! It was £4000, though. And I managed to successfully run away from it for years until they finally found me. I was astonished that there was only a couple hundred quid interest added on top after all that time, but I guess they must have sold the debt off to collectors and it stayed at that amount. It ranks up among the stupidest things I've ever done.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Shit Good Nose on September 06, 2020, 11:54:00 PM
Thought I recognised you on channel 5 the other night.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: BlodwynPig on September 07, 2020, 08:03:25 AM
Not really. I dont consider things I buy to be investments.

Think its about 24%. Would be paying like 300 quid over a year period or something.

I don't think you need a games console
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Paul Calf on September 07, 2020, 08:10:31 AM
5 years max if you get caught. It's probably unlikely that you will unless you default, in which case you'd be liable for civil and criminal actions.

Do they do a credit check? If so, you'll get probably nobbled straight away, although not for certain because some of the cheaper credit check retailers are less than thorough.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: monkfromhavana on September 07, 2020, 08:33:30 AM
To hell the the naysayers! Do it!

Just be prepared that the Playstation you have in prison will probably be an earlier model than the one you "bought".
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Special K on September 07, 2020, 09:03:30 AM
As I don't know your personal situation, I've spoilered my reply below as it's quite harsh and to the point. Please don't be offended.

Reading through your posts on this thread, you need to sort your life out and prioritise your attitude to money.

It's just a games console and it's around £250.

On a current scale of being able to pay for rent/mortgage, heating, clothing and feeding yourself and family, where does buying a games console lie? I know I'm being pedantic but "it's just a games console". If it's for a child's Birthday/Christmas present, ask friends or family to help. If you don't want to reveal to them you cannot afford it, I understand

Of course I will, I'm just not employed.

You need to get yourself a job before you squander money you do not have to buy a games console. There is plenty of support and assistance available, Job Centre, National Careers Service, internet resources etc to get yourself back into work.

Not really. I dont consider things I buy to be investments.

Think its about 24%. Would be paying like 300 quid over a year period or something.

People who understand interest receive it, those that don't pay it. £250+24% is £310. If you cannot afford £250 now, how can you afford to pay £310 over a year?

I'd definitely be able to pay it every month, my only worry is the level of risk that they'll actually care if i'm employed or not and will investigate it.

If you can afford to pay it off ever month, save up and purchase it in cash.

Nah my credit rating is rock bottom.

Pay off any remaining debts before taking any further ones on. Keep burying your head in the sand won't make money problems go away.

I know its illegal.

Read that back to yourself. Why would you put yourself in a situation when you could get yourself a criminal record and hinder any further chances of getting a job, mortgage etc all for a games console? I think you need to grow up and take responsibility for your actions.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: royce coolidge on September 07, 2020, 09:26:07 AM
As I don't know your personal situation, I've spoilered my reply below as it's quite harsh and to the point. Please don't be offended.

Reading through your posts on this thread, you need to sort your life out and prioritise your attitude to money.

On a current scale of being able to pay for rent/mortgage, heating, clothing and feeding yourself and family, where does buying a games console lie? I know I'm being pedantic but "it's just a games console". If it's for a child's Birthday/Christmas present, ask friends or family to help. If you don't want to reveal to them you cannot afford it, I understand

You need to get yourself a job before you squander money you do not have to buy a games console. There is plenty of support and assistance available, Job Centre, National Careers Service, internet resources etc to get yourself back into work.

People who understand interest receive it, those that don't pay it. £250+24% is £310. If you cannot afford £250 now, how can you afford to pay £310 over a year?

If you can afford to pay it off ever month, save up and purchase it in cash.

Pay off any remaining debts before taking any further ones on. Keep burying your head in the sand won't make money problems go away.

Read that back to yourself. Why would you put yourself in a situation when you could get yourself a criminal record and hinder any further chances of getting a job, mortgage etc all for a games console? I think you need to grow up and take responsibility for your actions.


Fuck me,I didn't know this forum was read by Tory MPs.
Bgmnts try and borrow from family if you can,pay them back a tenner a week.
If a console will bring you pleasure now,get one,because I think by next years no deal Brexit
both fun and employment will start to get hard to come by.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Gurke and Hare on September 07, 2020, 09:36:22 AM
It might be that their scales are different - I think the most common are maximums of 750 and 950 or something like that. 

Yeah - the actual numbers that the websites show you are meaningless when it comes to whether you'll get a particular bit of debt you apply for. The banks just take the raw data items that you can also see, and apply their own algorithms to them. The most useful thing you can take from the number is just whether it's tending up or down at any particular time and even then it can be counterintuitive.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Gurke and Hare on September 07, 2020, 09:37:43 AM
If a console will bring you pleasure now,get one,because I think by next years no deal Brexit
both fun and employment will start to get hard to come by.

And when that happens, what could be more advantageous than some fraudulently obtained debt that you can't pay off?
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: shiftwork2 on September 07, 2020, 09:39:27 AM
'Don't lie to borrow money for a non-essential' is common sense and has fuck all to do with Tory MPs, who'd be happier if bg was to saddle him/herself with barely sustainable debt.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: royce coolidge on September 07, 2020, 09:40:07 AM
That's why I said borrow from family,I wouldn't advise lying about employment.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: royce coolidge on September 07, 2020, 09:44:59 AM
'Don't lie to borrow money for a non-essential' is common sense and has fuck all to do with Tory MPs, who'd be happier if bg was to saddle him/herself with barely sustainable debt.
.

I was being a bit flippant,it was just the lines about how the Jobcentre etc are there to help and how it might endanger his chances for a mortgage.
Again borrow from family,don't lie about having a job.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on September 07, 2020, 09:45:42 AM
Can the financial experts in this thread tell me if there's a way to cancel a (paid off) credit card in writing please?

I've been a well behaved customer, it's just Lloyd's bought the provider and they're pricks, also I found they block exchanges for seemingly no other reason than they see it as a risk to their banking interest.

I don't want to speak to them, but I'm not sure a cut up card and a piece of paper where I've drawn round my hand flicking the v's is legally binding .
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Special K on September 07, 2020, 09:52:19 AM
.

I was being a bit flippant,it was just the lines about how the Jobcentre etc are there to help and how it might endanger his chances for a mortgage.
Again borrow from family,don't lie about having a job.

How is borrowing from a friend or family going to help? They are still borrowing money they cannot afford to pay for something they don't need.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on September 07, 2020, 09:55:27 AM
How is borrowing from a friend or family going to help? They are still borrowing money they cannot afford to pay for something they don't need.

Friend or family doesn't tend to repossess/slap on interest/break legs if they miss a couple of payments?
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: royce coolidge on September 07, 2020, 09:58:24 AM
He seems sure he can afford a weekly or monthly payment,
He knows what amount of benefits he gets,and if he gets a job he can pay it back even quicker.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Special K on September 07, 2020, 10:08:11 AM
He seems sure he can afford a weekly or monthly payment,
He knows what amount of benefits he gets,and if he gets a job he can pay it back even quicker.

Then they will ultimately learn nothing about how money work. Learn to live within your means and to prioritise money.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Gurke and Hare on September 07, 2020, 10:12:47 AM
Can the financial experts in this thread tell me if there's a way to cancel a (paid off) credit card in writing please?

I've been a well behaved customer, it's just Lloyd's bought the provider and they're pricks, also I found they block exchanges for seemingly no other reason than they see it as a risk to their banking interest.

I don't want to speak to them, but I'm not sure a cut up card and a piece of paper where I've drawn round my hand flicking the v's is legally binding .

Just write to them, a short and to the point "I wish to close account number xxxx xxxx xxxx xxxx. I enclose the destroyed card associated with the account" should do it.

What I don't know is, does cutting the card in half stop the contactless working? If not, I maybe would be wary of putting it in the post but I'm speaking from a position of no actual knowledge, so I could be worrying about nothing.

Lloyds don't seem to make it easy to find a customer service address but you could send it to the registered office address in the small print on the website:

25 Gresham Street
London
EC2V 7HN

Someone there would be able to direct it to the right people. Alternatively you could probably hand it in at your local branch, but if you don't want to talk to them I can see that might be off-putting.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: The Mollusk on September 07, 2020, 10:14:12 AM
Then they will ultimately learn nothing about how money work. Learn to live within your means and to prioritise money.

Why are you speaking about him as though he’s a child? I’m sure you have good intentions but you’re being very condescending.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: royce coolidge on September 07, 2020, 10:15:11 AM
Yes,but if for any reason you are a long term benefits claimant (illness)?,then that could be an even more deathly dull experience than it is already.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Puce Moment on September 07, 2020, 10:15:47 AM
You'll be fine. In the world of fraud it is so low down to be neglible.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: touchingcloth on September 07, 2020, 10:20:31 AM
Can the financial experts in this thread tell me if there's a way to cancel a (paid off) credit card in writing please?

I've been a well behaved customer, it's just Lloyd's bought the provider and they're pricks, also I found they block exchanges for seemingly no other reason than they see it as a risk to their banking interest.

I don't want to speak to them, but I'm not sure a cut up card and a piece of paper where I've drawn round my hand flicking the v's is legally binding .

Give your card to the OP so they can buy their Dreamcast then raise a chargeback claiming fraud. Win-win-win.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Special K on September 07, 2020, 10:22:30 AM
Why are you speaking about him as though he’s a child? I’m sure you have good intentions but you’re being very condescending.

That wasn't my intention, if it sounded like that I apologise.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: royce coolidge on September 07, 2020, 10:24:18 AM
What I mean is everybody needs something to look forward to,I mean all benefits claimant could live on porridge and beans for 12 quid a week and drink only tap water but I wouldn't expect them to.
We all need a bit of taste in life and 250 quid is very little in the scheme of things if it would give Bgmnts  dozens of hours of fun every week.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: The Mollusk on September 07, 2020, 10:33:00 AM
That wasn't my intention, if it sounded like that I apologise.

I'll admit it's not the most sensible course of action to be considering but I can also say with certainty that I've "been there", especially when I've found myself in a position of despondency, which incidentally could definitely be spurred on by unemployment and the general state of things in Are Grate Nation.

Nevertheless, I would also advise against doing it. I've been in financial scrapes and the lingering doom and anxiety of owing money to companies like this was far more substantial and long-lasting than any of the fun I got from borrowing it. Even if you can afford the instalments, lying in order to achieve it might sit similarly uncomfortably on the ol' conscience.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Paul Calf on September 07, 2020, 10:37:30 AM
The Jobcentre! Go to the Jobcentre!

Yeah. Do you know what the unemployment rate is at the moment?
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Special K on September 07, 2020, 10:45:12 AM
What I mean is everybody needs something to look forward to,I mean all benefits claimant could live on porridge and beans for 12 quid a week and drink only tap water but I wouldn't expect them to.
We all need a bit of taste in life and 250 quid is very little in the scheme of things if it would give Bgmnts  dozens of hours of fun every week.

I couldn't agree more, we all have a right to be happy in life. But to get that few hours of fun every week through fraud and needless debt is counter productive. As I stated in my opening post, I've no idea of the situation of the poster.

My overall point to make is that money management is a skill that everyone needs to learn. I've worked with numerous people over the years who earn in excess of 50k a year yet are poor with money and live beyond their means and in debt.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Shit Good Nose on September 07, 2020, 10:45:47 AM
What I don't know is, does cutting the card in half stop the contactless working? If not, I maybe would be wary of putting it in the post but I'm speaking from a position of no actual knowledge, so I could be worrying about nothing.

To be absolutely sure (without burning it), cut the card into several uneven pieces being sure to cut through both the swipe strip and the chip a few times.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Special K on September 07, 2020, 10:50:27 AM
The Jobcentre! Go to the Jobcentre!

Yeah. Do you know what the unemployment rate is at the moment?

I've no idea what the unemployment rate is but I know seeking help to find work is more productive than sitting in front of a TV watching Sonic collecting magic rings.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: The Mollusk on September 07, 2020, 11:03:22 AM
You're doing it again!
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: TheBrownBottle on September 07, 2020, 11:12:29 AM
I've no idea what the unemployment rate is but I know seeking help to find work is more productive than sitting in front of a TV watching Sonic collecting magic rings.

It is possible to do both, in fairness.

I’m pretty sure that if bgmnts applies for the credit and is caught, the worst that will happen is that the credit application will be rejected.  I’ve yet to hear of a credit provider taking action over a failed loan application of £250.  Someone in that position shouldn’t feel guilty either - or be made to feel guilty. 

That doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a good idea to take on more debt if you’re struggling, of course.  When I didn’t have a pot to piss in, I discovered the wonderful world of emulators, which gave me my gaming fix for nowt (assuming access to a PC or laptop here).  Or buy an older gen console with a load of cheap games. 
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on September 07, 2020, 11:27:59 AM
I've no idea what the unemployment rate is but I know seeking help to find work is more productive than sitting in front of a TV watching Sonic collecting magic rings.

Is it fuck, work is shit.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Chollis on September 07, 2020, 11:31:23 AM
if the console doesn't work out can I suggest Football Manager bgmts. got me through my long stretches of unemployment, and you don't need much to run it
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: touchingcloth on September 07, 2020, 11:32:44 AM
Office jobs in a capitalist economy are just a hunt for magic rings when you think about it.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Special K on September 07, 2020, 11:33:47 AM
(https://happyologist.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/Screen-Shot-2013-08-27-at-16.44.48.png)

Now THAT is condescending.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Gurke and Hare on September 07, 2020, 11:44:34 AM
Who the fuck's attributing that to Confucius, who died in 479BC when there was probably no such concept as "a job you love"?
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: imitationleather on September 07, 2020, 11:47:38 AM
Who the fuck's attributing that to Confucius, who died in 479BC when there was probably no such concept as "a job you love"?

Innit. It was Gandhi who said that.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Twonty Gostelow on September 07, 2020, 11:50:42 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/WC6PEUn.jpg)
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: TheBrownBottle on September 07, 2020, 12:03:23 PM
Who the fuck's attributing that to Confucius, who died in 479BC when there was probably no such concept as "a job you love"?

Look, if you can’t love being a Spring and Autumn-era serf given no choice but working in the rice paddies for 18 hours a day, then what sort of job can you love?
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: icehaven on September 07, 2020, 12:16:36 PM
It might be that their scales are different - I think the most common are maximums of 750 and 950 or something like that. 

Yeah - the free ones you can do yourself are legit - whenever you apply for a large loan or a mortgage and you have to provide the credit check info yourself, it's always the free ones that brokers and specialist lenders recommend.  Banks will typically run their own, but they'll also just use one like Equifax or Experian, both of which you can run yourself.

Feels a bit oversharing to put the exact numbers but I did Experian and that was only a few points off the maximum of 999, which was classed as 'excellent', then I did Clearscore and it was just over half their maximum of 750 (I think) which they called 'fair'. Does this mean if I want credit I should just hope my potential lenders use Experian? How can they be so different?
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Shit Good Nose on September 07, 2020, 12:22:07 PM
Feels a bit oversharing to put the exact numbers but I did Experian and that was only a few points off the maximum of 999, which was classed as 'excellent', then I did Clearscore and it was just over half their maximum of 750 (I think) which they called 'fair'. Does this mean if I want credit I should just hope my potential lenders use Experian? How can they be so different?

I think some factor in more assumed risk than others, although in my and Mrs Nose's experiences I've never known there to be as much of a disparity as in your example.  It could be that Clearscore take a longer term snapshot (say 10 years, whilst others would only go back 5), OR Experian have missed something.  No way of knowing unless you get the full report to see the detail.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: ollyboro on September 07, 2020, 12:25:51 PM

Bgmnts try and borrow from family if you can,pay them back a tenner a week.


Agreed. Apart from the bit about paying them back. What's the worse that can happen? You end up on Judge Rinder*

*The show, not the bloke. Although either could be a way to earn more pennies for an even better games console.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Zetetic on September 07, 2020, 12:26:30 PM
I've no idea what the unemployment rate is

In Wales, it's about double what it was at the start of the year.

120,000 "claimants" or so, vs 60,000 back in January.

A couple of months ago there were about 250,000 people furloughed on top of that, which represents a whole of bunch of soon-to-be-claimants.

Yeah, there's a balance here, but if video games help stave off the learned helplessness that job hunting will surely engender, they don't seem completely frivolous even from a very narrow perspective of utility.

(And I don't even disagree with the views about money management, and I'm not convinced that any £250 console purchase is an ... efficient one for gaining future access to good video games. But that's another conversation.)
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: TheBrownBottle on September 07, 2020, 12:28:37 PM
In terms of credit ratings with different agencies it all depends on how they weight everything.  They can’t go back further than six years under the DPA for closed accounts - and they don’t usually worry about missed payments from more  than three years ago.  And it’s not just missed payments - different agencies weight debt serviceability (how much of your credit lines you use), number of accounts, income, number of applications for credit, types of credit applied for, how long you’ve been in your job, changes of address, electoral register etc.  So it’s possible to have a ‘clean’ credit history and still not score highly with a particular agency.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Better Midlands on September 07, 2020, 12:32:19 PM
You end up on Judge Rinder*

*The show, not the bloke. Although either could be a way to earn more pennies for an even better games console.

Rinder don't pay for tail.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: bgmnts on September 07, 2020, 12:36:35 PM
I've no idea what the unemployment rate is but I know seeking help to find work is more productive than sitting in front of a TV watching Sonic collecting magic rings.

For full clarity, I've been out of paid work for a 14 months, I jobsearch and apply for work most days, on the days when I'm not too depressed to do anything. I only wanted a games console again because its the only activity I remotely enjoy.

I admit I'm bad with money, coming from poor stock with issues that were never dealt with or supported you tend to find yourself financially fucked anyway.

The jobcentre has been closed during covid for me. I havent had an advisor meeting in 5 months.

But you're probably right to be fair.

if the console doesn't work out can I suggest Football Manager bgmts. got me through my long stretches of unemployment, and you don't need much to run it

Yeah that's what I've opted for in the end. I have a celeron 1.1 ghz processor I think with 4gb of ram so I am going to try and run some retro games on that.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Dex Sawash on September 07, 2020, 01:08:36 PM

Yeah that's what I've opted for in the end. I have a celeron 1.1 ghz processor I think with 4gb of ram so I am going to try and run some retro games on that.

Glad you got there without me outing myself as part of the CaB tory wing.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: drummersaredeaf on September 07, 2020, 01:53:06 PM
These days you get arrested and put in jail just for saying you have a job.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: imitationleather on September 07, 2020, 01:55:05 PM
If you're getting a Switch bear in mind that the games are ridiculously fucking expensive.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Al Tha Funkee Homosapien on September 07, 2020, 02:10:17 PM
I'll lend you the cash and you can repay me in wank offs.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Small Man Big Horse on September 07, 2020, 02:24:10 PM
Maybe you could do some market research to earn the money, I've done it in the past and it's been quite a fun way to make a bit of cash on the side (I once got paid around £70 for watching and giving my opinion on the tv series Jessica Jones!) and thanks to the pandemic most of them can be done online right now - https://gopodengo.com/ and https://takepartinresearch.co.uk/ are the ones that have been best for me, but others do exist like https://www.focus4people.com/respondents.asp and https://vocalviews.com/.

Also, I've sometimes done a bit of ebaying, if there's a fair few charity shops near you it might be worth popping in and looking up dvds and pc games, it's mostly tv series and old adventure games that are worth the most, but if you've a smart phone looking stuff up while in there can make you a bit of cash on the side.

Plus, putting on dark clothing, creeping around outside of people's houses in the middle of the night, making sure they're asleep and then breaking and entering and later selling their goods at the local cash converters has never, ever done anyone any harm either.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Mrs Wogans lemon drizzle on September 07, 2020, 06:08:08 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/WC6PEUn.jpg)

LOL
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Mrs Wogans lemon drizzle on September 07, 2020, 06:09:00 PM
If you're getting a Switch bear in mind that the games are ridiculously fucking expensive.

Not if you download the ROMs for free :)
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Mrs Wogans lemon drizzle on September 07, 2020, 06:10:28 PM
Also i wouldn't buy a ps4 right now seeing as the ps5 is just around the corner...
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on September 07, 2020, 07:01:06 PM
Not if you download the ROMs for free :)

Congratulations on your job in the switch pharmacy.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Rev+ on September 07, 2020, 07:10:56 PM
I've no idea what the unemployment rate is but I know seeking help to find work is more productive than sitting in front of a TV watching Sonic collecting magic rings.

Jobcentre's haven't offered help for finding work for a couple of decades now, though.  They exist purely to handle benefit claims.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Small Man Big Horse on September 07, 2020, 07:23:18 PM
Jobcentre's haven't offered help for finding work for a couple of decades now, though.  They exist purely to handle benefit claims.

When I was signing on a few years ago every so often they'd print out a job and make me apply for it, even though most of the time I was either ridiculously over experienced or lacking in any in that particular field, and the ones they suggested didn't even lead to an interview. Plus they'd send me on stupid courses which were equally shite too (a two week one about how to apply for jobs was painfully patronising, and the staff their clearly didn't enjoy their jobs), signing off the dole was genuinely one of the happiest moments of my life.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on September 07, 2020, 08:51:29 PM
When I was signing on a few years ago every so often they'd print out a job and make me apply for it, even though most of the time I was either ridiculously over experienced or lacking in any in that particular field, and the ones they suggested didn't even lead to an interview. Plus they'd send me on stupid courses which were equally shite too (a two week one about how to apply for jobs was painfully patronising, and the staff their clearly didn't enjoy their jobs), signing off the dole was genuinely one of the happiest moments of my life.

I got cut off from the dole for no reason (I think they just reclassified me and stopped sending the 49 quid a week) and I was so useless with money and so deeply in debt/overdraft I actually didn’t notice for 2 weeks. From what I remember, signing on was a fucking horrible shitty experience and I have a lot of sympathy for anyone who is broke because it was such a miserable few years for me.

One of the reasons I’m happy to work like a lunatic now is because I’m so determined not to be so deeply in debt ever again. The stress still occasionally wakes me up, and I’ve been debt free for 10+ years at this point.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: PlanktonSideburns on September 07, 2020, 09:59:21 PM
I've no idea what the unemployment rate is but I know seeking help to find work is more productive than sitting in front of a TV watching Sonic collecting magic rings.

Become a professional streamer and drop both
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: touchingcloth on September 07, 2020, 10:26:01 PM
Not if you download the ROMs for free :)

Is this a real thing? I’ve used ROMs for N64 and earlier for years, I just assumed that newer consoles have either DRM which stops ROMs being a thing. Can you do disc swapping with a Switch? That’d take me right back.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Mrs Wogans lemon drizzle on September 07, 2020, 10:39:37 PM
Is this a real thing? I’ve used ROMs for N64 and earlier for years, I just assumed that newer consoles have either DRM which stops ROMs being a thing. Can you do disc swapping with a Switch? That’d take me right back.

Yeah it's still a thing.  Basically you need to boot the switch into a custom firmware version:  https://sx.xecuter.com/
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: touchingcloth on September 07, 2020, 10:47:37 PM
Yeah it's still a thing.  Basically you need to boot the switch into a custom firmware version:  https://sx.xecuter.com/

Is it possible to buy a Switch sans games and to play ROMs of exactly the same quality as the real deal? I did that on my DS, so that might well push me into buying a used Switch.

Presumably online multiplayer modes don’t work with ROMs?
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Mrs Wogans lemon drizzle on September 07, 2020, 10:52:24 PM
Is it possible to buy a Switch sans games and to play ROMs of exactly the same quality as the real deal? I did that on my DS, so that might well push me into buying a used Switch.

Presumably online multiplayer modes don’t work with ROMs?

Yeah the ROMs are all the real deal, you just need to buy a big enough SD card to store them all on.  You can't play online multiplayer, which is a bit of a bummer.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: holyzombiejesus on September 07, 2020, 11:11:45 PM
I've found some of the attitudes towards bgmnts' predicament pretty horrible, to the point where I'd be perfectly happy to chip in if there are a few others who would do so with me. It reminds me of the conversations I hear at work when cunts seem to hate the idea of poor people spending any of their money on anything other than sacks of potatoes and rice.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Pijlstaart on September 08, 2020, 12:42:50 AM
How come you think you can just up and borrow your way to a new £250 Game Boy when it would take my salt-of-the-earth Cameroonian housekeeper 50 hours of hard labour (would be 60 hours if I wasn't such a generous tipper) to save up for the same? She knows to wait, Game Boy's just for the likes of me now. All that tax skimmed off my furlough money goes straight to people like you, sickening, you, you should be made to parade about in a barrel, the greed barrel we'd call it, we should use you as an appliance like the Flintstones did with dinosaurs, we should cut strips off you to barbeque at the village fete, and that's how we'll pay for your gruel, thin gruel, and you should be glad of it, never mind Game Boys. Cook you into a bgmnts pie, give it to war veterans, Game Boys and pie for the veterans, and you'd better not think about getting yourself halal slaughtered, that's inhumane, stun-gun and a bible passage (Parable of the Minas) thank you very much.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: ProvanFan on September 08, 2020, 01:02:15 AM
sitting in front of a TV watching Sonic collecting magic rings.

Gramps here doesn't even know we've all moved onto Cool Spot now.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Special K on September 08, 2020, 09:13:40 AM
I've found some of the attitudes towards bgmnts' predicament pretty horrible, to the point where I'd be perfectly happy to chip in if there are a few others who would do so with me. It reminds me of the conversations I hear at work when cunts seem to hate the idea of poor people spending any of their money on anything other than sacks of potatoes and rice.

The opening posters predicament is whether to knowingly commit fraud to buy a non-essential item. Yes, I know the console may help as a short term pick me up but this does it solve the problem of poor money management. The poster themselves state they could afford the weekly payments. As such, the advice is to save for the item rather than incurring 24% interest.

Fast forward two weeks, the credit application has been accepted, the console is under the TV, the poster is still paying that console off until October 2021. 
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: AllisonSays on September 08, 2020, 09:54:49 AM
The whole premise of 'money management' is predicated on the idea that with wise cultivation it's possible to grow a garden that will allow you to escape poverty, deprivation, unemployment. For lots of people that's a premise that's been demonstrated to be untrue which is (perhaps) why the short-term pursuit of pleasure seems more appealing. Money management is a peversion of delayed gratification you can only enjoy from a certain position of security, I think.

On topic, I've lied about the security or longevity of my employment on credit checks to rent flats before but it's a different situation, was able to get my boss to dissemble for me, knew I could make rent, so not really applicable.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Retinend on September 08, 2020, 10:18:26 AM
What you just wrote is astounding. I have all the sympathy in the world for people who have trouble with money, and the negative feedback loops that money troubles result in, but none of that means that "money management" is a hopeless notion. The only way you can make do with less is to manage the shit out of the money you have. This is not about class warfare. No one is saying that it's one's own fault for being poor. ... it just seems obvious to me that it's not foolish to believe in money management or "perverse" for practicing it.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: AllisonSays on September 08, 2020, 11:42:19 AM
I was slightly joking with the perverse thing, via Oscar Wilde on celibacy. But I do think that a lot of chat about money management has a responsibilising or moralising tone which, in my opinion, is unhelpful. Obviously, you're right that mathematically the best way to not get into debt is to spend less than you earn, or whatever.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Shit Good Nose on September 08, 2020, 02:41:57 PM
Knowing bgmnts' current financial and mental predicament, I understand and sympathise.  Yes, those of us who have always been pretty good at money management or have learnt a lesson can easily say what I've already said (save up), or something like "better get yourself some bread and baked beans first".  But when you're sat there staring into a void (dare I go as far as saying "abyss"?) and a (relatively) small loan for an inexpensive item is the one thing that might cheer you up and keep your mental well being above water, then that kind of takes priority over counting the pennies.  Doesn't it?

It's a tricky one for sure and it's easy to look down on people who don't have a good record with money (I should know - Mrs Nose spaffed £40K on loans and credit cards without my knowledge at the beginning of her depression and has fuck all to show for it), but sometimes we should put ourselves their position and perhaps try to understand what they're going through.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: icehaven on September 08, 2020, 04:07:41 PM
It could be that Clearscore take a longer term snapshot (say 10 years, whilst others would only go back 5), OR Experian have missed something. 

So it's more likely that Experian's is artificially high than Clearscore's is artificially low? That's disappointing.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Shit Good Nose on September 08, 2020, 04:08:49 PM
So it's more likely that Experian's is artificially high than Clearscore's is artificially low? That's disappointing.

Like I said, without seeing the complete reports from both it's impossible to say what the discrepancy is or why it's there.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Blue Jam on September 08, 2020, 04:29:21 PM
Had a relative commit guarantor fraud using my name and address and a forgery of my signature. I only learned about this when I got a phone call threatening me with a visit from bailiffs. Really really shit me up.

I wouldn't do it personally.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Puce Moment on September 08, 2020, 04:49:41 PM
I would like to think that the fraud I have committed over the years hasn't really negatively impacted on anyone. I've certainly never stolen an identity.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: metaltax on September 08, 2020, 04:54:17 PM
So it's more likely that Experian's is artificially high than Clearscore's is artificially low? That's disappointing.

The "scores" are just (largely) bollocks aren't they? My understanding is that financial institutions only receive the information in your actual report - how much debt of what kind (and possibly with whom), any late payments, any CCJs etc. The "score" is just a number arbitrarily arrived at by the credit agencies which represents some or all of what the actual report contains, weighted in a way which encourages you to take advantage of their premium service and credit-finding services.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Blue Jam on September 08, 2020, 04:56:53 PM
I would like to think that the fraud I have committed over the years hasn't really negatively impacted on anyone. I've certainly never stolen an identity.

I lived at a couple of addresses in London where I was constantly getting red bills addressed to the previous tenant, and phonecalls demanding to know where they were, and who I was. I didn't know why until someone gave me the "handy hint" to not pay my final bills before moving to a new address. Ah, so it's pricks like that guy, cheers.

That shit me up too tbh.

I'm a wimp goody-goody, never dabbled in a bit o' minor fraud myself.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Shit Good Nose on September 08, 2020, 04:59:19 PM
The "scores" are just (largely) bollocks aren't they? My understanding is that financial institutions only receive the information in your actual report - how much debt of what kind (and possibly with whom), any late payments, any CCJs etc. The "score" is just a number arbitrarily arrived at by the credit agencies which represents some or all of what the actual report contains, weighted in a way which encourages you to take advantage of their premium service and credit-finding services.

I don't think that's quite true - many "soft" searches for low value (i.e. less than £5-10K) loans will go by your credit score number.  At the very least they are a good basic guide - if you're in the red zone, for example, then it's a pretty strong indicator that there's no point in applying for a loan or a mortgage, and most banks won't do any further investigating when faced with a score in the red zone.

But it is true you really need to see full reports to get a true handle on things, as I said RE icehaven's situation.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: icehaven on September 08, 2020, 06:09:21 PM
I lived at a couple of addresses in London where I was constantly getting red bills addressed to the previous tenant, and phonecalls demanding to know where they were, and who I was. I didn't know why until someone gave me the "handy hint" to not pay my final bills before moving to a new address. Ah, so it's pricks like that guy, cheers.

That shit me up too tbh.

I'm a wimp goody-goody, never dabbled in a bit o' minor fraud myself.

Had similar in a flat I moved into about 10 years ago, first few months we were there we kept getting letters from a debt collection agency addressed to a previous tenant, didn't open them of course and just put them back in the post with not at this address on.
Finally one turned up with something about bailiffs on the envelope so I opened that one to find out the name of the agency so I could call them. They didn't sound like they believed me when I explained their debtor had moved out and I was the new tenant (audible sigh when I said it) but the letters stopped and no bailiffs ever turned up so they must have done whatever they needed to do to check.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Retinend on September 08, 2020, 08:19:19 PM
I was slightly joking with the perverse thing, via Oscar Wilde on celibacy.

At first I was like
oh screw you; how did I miss that; I don't even know that quote
and then I was like
google "oscar wilde celibacy quote"...

... he never even said that a c t u a l l y 😎[1]
 1.  according to the learned opinion of "Ghost of Richard Ellman (guest)" at Morrisey-Solo.com forums (https://www.morrissey-solo.com/threads/wilde-and-celibacy.38904/)
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: AllisonSays on September 08, 2020, 10:30:16 PM
Haha, right enough! I googled it myself there to no avail. Maybe he said something about nuns once...
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: peanutbutter on September 09, 2020, 12:14:28 AM
I wouldn't be able to comment on the debt thing as I'm the kind of person who is pathologically averse to the idea of being in debt to the point that I'm only just about coming to terms with the idea of a mortgage but as far as a games console is concerned it'd mostly come down to which console and what for. Have a few friends that got Switches for animal crossing at the start of lockdown who couldn't necessarily afford it (just been furloughed, not making much before that regardless so being squeezed a fair bit) but the upside was pretty huge with all the events and shit going on it.

If it doesn't have that kind of social fulfilment element and you need to budget, there's a reasonable chance some piracy option could be as good/better; DS/3DS/PSP/Wii U or just getting a gamepad and playing emulators on your computer.

Depends how aware you are of your options, like.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: touchingcloth on September 09, 2020, 12:44:27 AM
the upside was pretty huge with all the events and shit going on it.

"The events" being "playing the game"?
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Blue Jam on September 09, 2020, 01:30:42 AM
Animal Crossing looks like a big bag of wank to me. Don't bother.

Unless it's your thing of course, in which case go for it.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: peanutbutter on September 09, 2020, 02:00:09 AM
"The events" being "playing the game"?
Nah, it was drip feeding out shit and had particular calendar things. Like, a totally offline experience of the game would be a shite  from what I could see. As would playing the game at a totally different time than all your friends did, I suspect
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: touchingcloth on September 09, 2020, 08:14:05 AM
I don’t really understand what happens in the video games these days. We used to make our own fun controlling hedgehogs in quests to gather magic rings, but these days it’s all hedgehogs with your mates’ faces in MMORGRPGs.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: The Mollusk on September 09, 2020, 08:23:52 AM
Guaranteed that every one of the hedgehogs has a lifelike serviceable vagina as well.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: touchingcloth on September 09, 2020, 08:29:26 AM
Yes, your mates have all joined the pricklies subculture and want to do a yiff up some hedgehogs’ arses.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on September 09, 2020, 01:46:23 PM
I lived at a couple of addresses in London where I was constantly getting red bills addressed to the previous tenant, and phonecalls demanding to know where they were, and who I was. I didn't know why until someone gave me the "handy hint" to not pay my final bills before moving to a new address.

This sounds like a Viz Top Tip.

“Tired of having no money and some electricity? Why not simply stop paying bills - you’ll be “in the black” (the dark) in no time!”
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Blue Jam on September 09, 2020, 01:58:55 PM
During the credit crunch I remember someone here posting a link to some handy money-saving hints on BBC Speak You're Branes Have Your Say or something and one of them was "Save money on pens, teabags etc by taking them from work".

I guess stealing stuff really is an effective way of saving money though.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Shit Good Nose on September 09, 2020, 02:00:31 PM
During the credit crunch I remember someone here posting a link to some handy money-saving hints on BBC Speak You're Branes Have Your Say or something and one of them was "Save money on pens, teabags etc by taking them from work".

I guess stealing stuff really is an effective way of saving money though.

"Wee in your sink and save your shits for work.  You'll save ££££s on water and sewerage costs (as long as you are on a meter, if you're not on a meter leave the tap running all day)"
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on September 09, 2020, 02:11:23 PM
During the credit crunch I remember someone here posting a link to some handy money-saving hints on BBC Speak You're Branes Have Your Say or something and one of them was "Save money on pens, teabags etc by taking them from work".

I guess stealing stuff really is an effective way of saving money though.

Remember “Speak You’re Branes”? That takes me back.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Blue Jam on September 09, 2020, 04:56:26 PM
Remember “Speak You’re Branes”? That takes me back.

iirc the owner of that site stopped running it when BBC Have Your Say just got too ridiculous to ridicule anymore. If only BTL comments hadn't got even worse after that...

EDIT: http://ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com is still live but it's hosting something a bit different now.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: canadagoose on September 09, 2020, 07:18:17 PM
Remember “Speak You’re Branes”? That takes me back.
I used to love it. There weren't many websites that made me laugh out loud, but that was one of them.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: icehaven on September 09, 2020, 08:17:25 PM
EDIT: http://ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com is still live but it's hosting something a bit different now.

The fuck's going on there?
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: Zetetic on September 09, 2020, 08:20:38 PM
Euphemism generator, apparently.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: icehaven on September 09, 2020, 08:27:47 PM
Euphemism generator, apparently.

Huh. Well I hope any delightful soul researching the concept of if you like it so much why don't you go live there enjoys their saucy surprise.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on September 09, 2020, 08:41:15 PM
I used to love it. There weren't many websites that made me laugh out loud, but that was one of them.

I was a long time lurker, infrequent poster (under the handle “SoftTouchBritain” or something) but I haven’t thought about the place in nearly 15 years. I might have got that name wrong.
Title: Re: Fibbing about employment
Post by: jobotic on September 12, 2020, 09:29:32 PM
I used to love Speak Your Branes too.

I think I liked ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydon'tyougolivethere as well but can;t remember anything about it apart from the name. What was it?