GC Rowling's Icky Bog Adventures, part 3: The Prisoners of Trans Cabal

[Mister Six]

Everybody's favourite billionaire bigot won't wheesht no matter how much Warner Bros wish she would, so now - with thread two at over a hundred pages - it's time for thread three.

Timeline of events:

• Writes some really popular kids' books about a little boy who attacks the disabled
• Signs off on Hollywood films and merchandising blitz that keeps the popularity of the franchise afloat beyond the books' normal lifespan
• Becomes UK National Treasure™ for paying her taxes despite billionaire status
• Buys a castle, goes on Twitter, slowly disengages from reality
• Goes mental fighting the Evil Jeremy Crobbins via tweet in order to save Britain's Jews from (???) and coincidentally stops him from being able to raise taxes on the billionaire class; gets lovebombed to fuck by liberal melts
• Releases some increasingly bloated and tedious crime books that make her look like a one-trick pony
• Starts slyly liking and resharing transphobe garbage on Twitter
• Young fans disillusioned with her growing public transphobia question her publicly - the worst thing that can happen to a rich blue-tick - and start to turn their backs on her
• Shits out some kids' book for charity, possibly in a move to improve her public image - what could go wrong?
• Wolf claimed the Facebook post in which he'd said he wanted to 'fuck up some TERFs' was just 'bravado.' #TheIckabog
• PR team eventually just gives up pretending this stuff is an accident
• Makes a statement in which she bleats about her history of abuse by a cis man like it has any bearing on slagging off trans women, and pulls the old "reasonable concerns" shite
• Publishes a book in which a serial killer dresses up like a woman to rape and murder lasses in the bogs, meaning that her brain contains at least 100% more instances of this than the real world
• Aware that fans are ditching Potter, renaming their Quidditch leagues and basically telling Rowling to GTF, the makers of a Hogwarts video game distance themselves from the author
• Despite the impending release of the third Fantastic Beasts film, Rowling starts sucking up to virulent public transphobes like Maya Floorsharter on Twitter
• WB executives' wailing can be heard across the length and breadth of LA
• Gathers together her like-minded bigots for a photo op in which she looks like she's sucking on a frozen dog turd throughout
• Fantastic Beasts franchise goes onto life support
• Is missed off of 2022's The Big Jubilee Read list of 70 British authors, incensing extremely serious people who have co-opted the identities of Suffragettes, witches and dinosaurs
• Prevents, along with her husband, access to right-to-roam areas of her fancy Scottish estate
• Is pranked by Russians pretending to be Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, because apparently she thinks she's important enough for the leader of a country at war with Russia to phone up for a bit of a chat
• Like a true feminist, she provides vocal support to Ezra Miller (who has allegedly hit and kidnapped women) and Marilyn Manson (who has been accused of abusing and raping women) while conspicuously not commenting on the repeal of pro-abortion legal ruling Roe v. Wade in the US
• Says (on Twitter, obv.) that men (and by her implication trans women) are inherently rapists and should not be allowed to care for the vulnerable
• Signed first-edition copies of the Harry Potter books to benefit Rowling's charity go unsold at Christie's, proving, her fans say, something something the trans have captured something something
• Alison Bailey loses all but one count of a court case; releases press statement saying she won, actually, headed "JK Rowling's friend Allison Bailey wins her case". "A friend of JK" now becomes a phrase like "A friend of Dorothy", except the exact opposite
  
• Following the attack on Salman Rushdie, is "threatened" in a tweet by a brand new Twitter account with 7 followers that is following 10 people. This makes headlines, for some reason. (The reason is "it's the UK press".)
• Rowling attacks Joanne Harris, an author around eleventy billion times better than her, because she didn't "offer enough aid to gender critical women" in her position as chair of the Society of Authors. It's bollocks, obviously, but guess whose side the press is on?
• Releases "The Ink Black Heart", a 500,000-page brick about an author who got bullied by meanies on Twitter. :( :( :( It's so bad even The Times calls it "a who-cares-whodunnit"
• Claimed Mermaids "encouraged kids to move onto a platform notorious for sexual exploitation". It was Discord. Oh, and said a trustee was a paedophilia apologist (he argued for less inflammatory language to describe paedophiles, which isn't apologia, but whatevs, JK is rich enough to say what she wants without fear of being sued)
• Responds to Graham Norton calling for calm, compassion and consideration for all people by saying that he was excusing "death threats", leading to her nutter fans running him off Twitter
• Shares a picture of an apparent pro-trans Twitter account, "@gameonterfs", with a profile picture of a woman with a chain around her neck. The account had existed for all of two hours beforehand, has two followers (one of which is an LGB Alliance founder) and uses an obscure and archaic TERF meme. And hadn't @-ed Rowling at all. What a curious event!
• Defends herself on a podcast, "The Witch Trials of J.K. Rowling", which is listened to by literally some people
• The Hogwarts game comes out, the internet goes mental for about a month, and despite it selling well everyone seems to forget about it quickly
• Threatens small-time queer Twitter posters with legal action for dissing her, resulting in them having to make public apologies
• Continues to retweet and reply positively to people like Dennis Noel Kavanagh, who said he "preferred AIDS" to "gender ghouls" who are "jealous of the mountain of corpses we [gay men] had with AIDS"; Caroline Farrow, who said "homosexual acts are sinful"; Baroness Emma Nicholson, who voted against same-sex marriage and tried to restrict abortion access in the UK; Kellie-Jay Keen-Minshull aka Posie Parker, who has ranted on Twitter about "Pakistani/Muslim rape culture"; Matt Walsh, a self-styled "theocratic fascist" who says teenage girls should marry and get pregnant; Kaeley Trinner, who committed statutory rape of a boy while working as a youth counselor, and whose Federalist article "Women Won't Be Liberated Until We're Free From Abortion" directly compares abortion to the Holocaust; and someone saying "get your shit off our flag" about the trans/black/brown people colours. JK Rowling is a white cis straight woman
• Pleasingly, however, she still hasn't acknowledged Graham Linehan

New thread theme tune:

[phes]

Don't forget when she claimed it's dangerous to apply a presumption of innocence to *all groups* of people

[bgmnts]

Remember that time I went to prison to discover myself.

[samadriel]

She probably would have done something horrifying involving Aboriginal myth.

The Rainbow Serpent Academy!

Oh, hang on, rainbows, too woke.

[Mister Six]

Don't forget when she claimed it's dangerous to apply a presumption of innocence to *all groups* of people

Ah! I'll get that one next time around. There's so much-- sorry, wrong thread.

[Urinal Cake]

Got some Alan Partridge vibes off the interviewer.

[Dr Rock]

'Half of Scottish prisoners claiming a trans identity' - that's fourteen divided by two btw.

[king_tubby]

GK Lining

[JaDanketies]

Talking of Trump, she's bound to start supporting the Republicans when it comes to the USA because of her monomania

[Jack Shaftoe]

I don't know why this is the thing that's shocked me, but someone pointed out that 'Stonewall' is in the Harry Potter books as the school Dudley goes to, and which Harry would have gone to if he wasn't 'saved' by Hogwarts.

Dudley: "They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall. Want to come upstairs and practice?"
Harry: "No, thanks. The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it -- it might be sick."

Firstly, wow, that's terrible writing. But also I can't believe an editor wouldn't have pointed out it's the same name as a well-known LGBTQA charity. So it was there from the beginning.

[Dr Rock]

Dudley's head is worse than loads of shit and piss?

[Shaxberd]

Hmm, I can believe that back in the late 90s both Rowling and her editors were ignorant enough to not be aware - Stonewall was a well known name among LGBT people but wasn't so high profile as it is now.

I think Rowling has always been narrow minded in a chattering-classes sort of way but, like the Robert Galbraith Heath thing, I don't see the point of making these tenuous connections as proof of her prejudice when you can just look at the things she's explicitly said about her beliefs.

[Cerys]

Do neither Rowling nor her editor know the difference between 'practise' and 'practice'?

[idunnosomename]

Dudley's head is worse than loads of shit and piss?

yeah cause hes fat innit

[Urinal Cake]

Yeah I don't see it as a sign of JKR being anti-LGBTQI+ just her thinking Stonewall sounds stern, serious and depressing compared to the whimsy and magicalness of Hogwarts.

[The Bees]

Don't forget the part where she claims she's just fighting the dark, insidious and powerful forces that are conspiring behind the scenes to influence the world.

https://insidethemagic.net/2023/03/jk-rowling-trans-people-death-eaters-jc1/

Megan Phelps-Roper: What do you say to the people who say that you maybe because of your experiences that you can't see you've actually become like the villains in your books. That this fight you've jumped into is a betrayal of some kind.
 
      Rowling: I supposed the thing I would say above all to those who seek to tell me I don't understand my own books, I will say this: Some of you have not understood the books. The death eaters claim we have been made to live in secret and now is our time. And any who stand in our way must be destroyed. If you disagree with us, you must die. They demonize and dehumanize those who are not like them. I am fighting what I see as a powerful, insidious, misogynistic movement that I think has gained huge purchase in very influential areas of society. I do not see this particular movement as either benign or powerless. So I'm afraid I stand with women who are fighting to be heard against threat of loss of livelihood and threats to their personal safety.

[Dr Rock]

I am fighting what I see as a powerful, insidious, misogynistic movement that I think has gained huge purchase in very influential areas of society. Like Hollywood, and banking.

[Jack Shaftoe]

Yeah I don't see it as a sign of JKR being anti-LGBTQI+ just her thinking Stonewall sounds stern, serious and depressing compared to the whimsy and magicalness of Hogwarts.

Mmm, possibly I'm going a bit conspiracy theory there. ACCUSATION WITHDRAWN.

[Shaxberd]

Yeah I don't see it as a sign of JKR being anti-LGBTQI+ just her thinking Stonewall sounds stern, serious and depressing compared to the whimsy and magicalness of Hogwarts.

Also, this is tangential but can we just reflect for a moment on how terrible 'Hogwarts' is as a name? I think it's a reference to a Molesworth book (and I won't hear a word said against Molesworth), but I wouldn't call a wizard school St Custard's either. One of those things that was tolerable in the whimsical early books but looks stupid when it's trying to be serious.

[Urinal Cake]

Hmm. I think it works as (as well as Dumbledore and other funny names) a children's book before HP went on his heroes journey. Or maybe JKR was trying to be like Dahl or Dickens or something.

[Dr Rock]

I always saw her whimsical wordplay as charmless sub-Dickensian shite.

[idunnosomename]

Death Eaters

Are they bad then?

[phantom_power]

Ironically, and obviously, all that she is saying about insidious and powerful forces behind the scenes that she stops short of actually identifying, is absolutely identifiable as occurring in the anti-trans movement with all the shit at Tufton Street and the same right wing cunts who bankrolled Brexit and Lawrence Fox, not to mention the fundamentalist Christian movement in the US.

What is it they say about every accusation being an admission?

[The Bees]

Death Eaters

Are they bad then?

Death Eaters are a very important part of a healthy ecosystem, if they stop eating the death it all gets out and infects other species. Happened in Australia.

[George Oscar Bluth II]

I do think part of the reason Rowling is the way she is is that the books have been so successful, and so ubiquitous, that they're subjected to the kind of meta analysis we've already had on this page. These were books meant to be enjoyed by ten year olds and mostly forgotten! They were written in the 90s and 2000s when having background British-Chinese and British-Asian characters counted as progressive! I don't think any of us would enjoy our work being raked over like this.

And then when she reacted to certain criticism by retconning her books to be more progressive (Dumbledore was gay the whole time, say) and people, instead of whooping and cheering for her, got annoyed it set her on her current bitter path.

[Kankurette]

Does she even take any notice of the meta-analysis, though? People will pick apart any work of literature that's sufficiently popular, even if it's for kids - just look at all the debates about the (far superior) Narnia books.

Also, this is tangential but can we just reflect for a moment on how terrible 'Hogwarts' is as a name? I think it's a reference to a Molesworth book (and I won't hear a word said against Molesworth), but I wouldn't call a wizard school St Custard's either. One of those things that was tolerable in the whimsical early books but looks stupid when it's trying to be serious.

Molesworth pisses all over Harry Potter. And yes, Hogwarts is a Molesworth reference, JKR is a fan IIRC.

[George Oscar Bluth II]

Does she even take any notice of the meta-analysis, though? People will pick apart any work of literature that's sufficiently popular, even if it's for kids - just look at all the debates about the (far superior) Narnia books.

I think her engagement with fansites and stuff in the early days and the fact that a lot of her post-hoc re-writing of the books is clearly in response to things that were being said about them online suggests she did.

[king_tubby]

Rowling's mates shouting about how Daniel Radcliffe's partner Erin Darke is a transwoman (because they can always tell).

They're in the news because she's pregnant.

[Dayraven]

I think it works as (as well as Dumbledore and other funny names) a children's book before HP went on his heroes journey.

Yeah, the series' attempt at growing up with the readers makes the worldbuilding creak in several places.

[Head Gardener]

.