020210us Th1ngs

[Dr Rock]

If Jesus had a background in carpentry you'd expect at least one of his parables to reflect that - 'consider the dovetail joint' but no, fuck all.

[touchingcloth]

There are also two separate stories where he dumped a shit load of food on a group of people. All four gospels have him feeding 5,000 people with bread and fish, Mark and Matthew each have a second story where he did the same for 4,000 people.

Call me a cynic, but I reckon a crowd of 4,000 is large enough that without large screens setup on the stage most people at the back wouldn't be able to tell whether there was any funny business going on with fetching extra bits of food from a trapdoor in the stage. Probably large enough that the people further back than the first couple of rows weren't even aware that there was a literal bunfight at the front over a couple of loaves.

[Dr Rock]

An it's His fault people are starving because there's no catering at His event anyway. It's like Woodstock '99.

[touchingcloth]

Probably he took credit for some random who had to step in and rectify his shoddy catering arrangements. 2,000 years from now people will be praying to Lord Wavy Gravy.

[Bently Sheds]

So Joseph could have been working for Travis Perkins?

[Dr Rock]

It's a family firm. Jesus had a few brothers. I reckon they handled this construction business while Jesus went off bringing people back from the dead and generally avoiding manual labour.

[Dr Rock]

So Joseph could have been working for Travis Perkins?

More like Jewson.

[Cerys]

All those people and no mention of toilet arrangements.  I bet Jesus and his mates just collected up all the turds and baked them on hot stones for the masses, who were too polite to say anything and only pretended to eat.  Apart from Jeff.  Jeff would scarf anything down if it was free.

In other news, 'renege' and 'renegade'.  I am fifty, have an English degree, and should probably be ashamed of myself.

[dissolute ocelot]

In other news, 'renege' and 'renegade'.  I am fifty, have an English degree, and should probably be ashamed of myself.

I thought "renege" was pronounced "renezh" (like Farage), like it was some fancy French word, till a few years ago. Still seems weird with a hard G.

[Icehaven]

There's a hook underneath the handles on supermarket trollies that you can hang your bags/granny trolley from.

[Cerys]

I thought "renege" was pronounced "renezh" (like Farage), like it was some fancy French word, till a few years ago. Still seems weird with a hard G.

Me too!  Fuck it.  Pronounce it how you want - that's why I pronounced 'segue' as 'seeg' for years after I discovered the truth.

[Famous Mortimer]

And "jif", of course

[mjwilson]

The Gospel of Matthew has wise men coming to visit baby Jesus in a house rather than a stable. Mary and Joseph begin the story in Bethlehem.

The Gospel of Luke has shepherds coming to visit Jesus in a manger. Mary and Joseph begin the story being told to travel to Bethlehem for a census.

The version of the nativity where they travel to Bethlehem because of a census and then are visited in a stable by shepherd and wise men doesn't exist in the Bible.

Herod orders the killing of all boys under 2, raising the possibility that the wise men took 2 years to get there.

[Dr Rock]

As I said, The Bible mentions that Jesus has four brothers and three sisters (I think that's right). But that's a mistake isn't it, they'd be half brother and sisters, because Joseph isn't Jesus's dad. It's some nameless fella who got Mary up the duff, er I mean God did it.

[olliebean]

And "jif", of course

I still pronounce it with a hard "G". I don't care what the guy who invented it says. The "G" stands for "Graphics," which has a hard "G", so that's how it's pronounced. Also apparently that's the more common pronunciation, so there's an argument from common usage to boot.

[JesusAndYourBush]

I assumed Mortimer was talking about the cleaning product.

[NoSleep]

I assumed Mortimer was talking about the cleaning product.

The only alternatives I can think of in that case are "yif" (j as in fjord) or "hif" (j as in junta).

[Cerys]

I still pronounce it with a hard "G". I don't care what the guy who invented it says. The "G" stands for "Graphics," which has a hard "G", so that's how it's pronounced. Also apparently that's the more common pronunciation, so there's an argument from common usage to boot.

This.  We have a teenager who thinks otherwise, but they can fuck off as far as this goes.

[JesusAndYourBush]

The only alternatives I can think of in that case are "yif" (j as in fjord) or "hif" (j as in junta).

Well it's cif now (pronounced 'syph') but that's daft and some people probably prefer to still call it jif.

[Dex Sawash]

Not sure I have ever seen renege spelled out before.
The usage/connotation of renegade is usually pretty far from one who has done a renege.

[Replies From View]

There are also two separate stories where he dumped a shit load of food on a group of people. All four gospels have him feeding 5,000 people with bread and fish, Mark and Matthew each have a second story where he did the same for 4,000 people.

Call me a cynic, but I reckon a crowd of 4,000 is large enough that without large screens setup on the stage most people at the back wouldn't be able to tell whether there was any funny business going on with fetching extra bits of food from a trapdoor in the stage. Probably large enough that the people further back than the first couple of rows weren't even aware that there was a literal bunfight at the front over a couple of loaves.

Also I'd like to know what happened to an entire fifth of the first group, and how anyone was able to tell at a glance that it wasn't for example 4500 both times.  1000 people just couldn't be arsed with the second picnic.

When was head-counting for school trips invented?

[turnstyle]

Ali G is a pun on 'allergy'.

Just twigged it the other day. Fucking hell.

[Dr Rock]

Ali G is a pun on 'allergy'.

Just twigged it the other day. Fucking hell.

Probably a coincidence. How would 'allergy' be relevant?

[NoSleep]

Probably a coincidence. How would 'allergy' be relevant?

That's the point. He hasn't noticed it himself.

[Captain Z]

Bruno is a pun on 'brew, no', because he's German and doesn't drink tea.

[touchingcloth]

And Borat is a pun on Bo Rat, an unrealised animal sidekick for Leigh Francis.

[touchingcloth]

Also I'd like to know what happened to an entire fifth of the first group

I bet you would, you dirty old bollocks, I bet you fucking would.

[touchingcloth]

The classical music that plays throughout the Seinfeld episode The Barber is from off of The Barber of Seville.

[Famous Mortimer]

I was talking about the internet thing. Do they still do "Jif" (the product)?

[beanheadmcginty]

Always amazed by the number of different unrelated products called "Jif" or "Jiffy". Off the top of my head you've got:
Jif - cleaning product
Jif - lemon juice
Jif - American peanut butter
Jiffy bags - envelopes
Jiffy lube - American version of Kwik Fit
Jiffy condoms - johnnies
Jiffy pop - popcorn
Jiffy mix - cake mix

There's probably more. And they're all completely unrelated to each other.