BBC Scandal #2080: Uri Geller

[Ferris]

Geller makes a lot of money off swindling oil companies by offering his services to locate oil by magic. He should be a hero of environmentalists everywhere. (Here's a thing on his website.)

Geller is reserved about his precise financial standing, but according to the Financial Times charges a standard fee of £1million – and more in areas considered to be physically dangerous. "That's right," replies Geller, without hesitation. "In fact the Financial Times was also right when it said of the 11 projects I have undertaken in the past 10 years, four have been big successes where the royalties went way beyond the original £1 million advance.

Can't argue with a 36% success rate!

[Butchers Blind]

When I was younger my uncle had a copy of this book on his shelf



He had added the words 'LYING CUNT' over Uri's face in felt tip pen. Not sure what had prompted him to add the epithet and yet still keep the book.

[The Dog]

Once saw him being chased down the high street by a gang of rusty soup spoons.

[shoulders]

Friends with Michael Jackson = knows where the bodies are buried.

Pretty clear his career was sustained through obtaining intelligence he could use against other people. Perhaps in the 80s and 90s his act fit in with countless others that it sustained itself at times, but for it to persist into the internet age is extraordinary.

Randi was brave as he didn't only take on charlatans but the money and power backing them.

[Ferris]

Friends with Michael Jackson

Quite the euphemism.

[holdover]

This is another BBC scandal (from the Commonwealth Games intro)

[hamfist]

Mossad.

There, I said it.

[Ferris]

To spoon-bend their way around illegal settlements?

It's no less plausible than Geller in general tbh.

[BlodwynPig]

Open your eyes sheeple

https://gerrymccan-abuseofpower-humanrights.blogspot.com/2016/06/the-exeter-connection-clement-freud-uri.html

[jobotic]

Seems I was wrong about Brexit. He was against it and pledged to stop it with the power of his mind and a spoon.

[imitationleather]

Seems I was wrong about Brexit. He was against it and pledged to stop it with the power of his mind and a spoon.

And I'm very grateful he did.

[David Pielingtonburygrot]

What's so impressive about bending spoons anyway? I could easily bend a spoon with very little effort

[Zero Gravitas]

It is a little weird, but there's not many everyday objects you could surreptitiously bend.

All but the cheapest knives and forks are a little too thick to get cocky about.

The microplane has an outer reinforced frame.

Paper clips are too easy.

Needles have too small a cross section to get enough force painlessly.

Nails are too hard.

House keys don't offer enough easy leverage.

But Spoons! They only need to resist stirring and yogurt in general usage, their diaphanous little necks are begging for a bending.

[David Pielingtonburygrot]

It is a little weird, but there's not many everyday objects you could surreptitiously bend.

All but the cheapest knives and forks are a little too thick to get cocky about.

The microplane has an outer reinforced frame.

Paper clips are too easy.

Needles have too small a cross section to get enough force painlessly.

Nails are too hard.

House keys don't offer enough easy leverage.

But Spoons! They only need to resist stirring and yogurt in general usage, their diaphanous little necks are begging for a bending.

If it was pipe cleaners, fair enough, that'd be something to brag about

[Sebastian Cobb]

If he come round my house he'd be getting a wooden stirrer.

[Ferris]

I've got a couple of pizza peels he can try. They're just like massive (reinforced spring steel) spoons mate; come on not scared are you mate?

[buzby]

Needles have too small a cross section to get enough force painlessly.

Sewing needles are made of hardened steel, which resists bending but is more brittle than mild steel, which leads them to break rather than bend.

Nails are too hard.

Most nails (apart from masonry nails) are made from mild steel, so very easy to bend, The main issue wuth bending them by hand is their diameter to length ratio, and lack of leverage.

But Spoons! They only need to resist stirring and yogurt in general usage, their diaphanous little necks are begging for a bending.

Cutlery is usually made from stainless steel alloys, most of which are softer than mild steel, and combined with their length and cross sectional area of the neck it  makes them very easy to bend by hand.

[Zero Gravitas]

Cutlery is usually made from stainless steel alloys, most of which are softer than mild steel, and combined with their length and cross sectional area of the neck it  makes them very easy to bend by hand.

I'd happily break the seal on the rim of a jar of gherkins with a knife, but it'd fuck a spoon.

Guess we know who has been skimping on cutlery.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I've lost a good few teaspoons since working from home.

[Spudgun]

Cutlery is usually made from stainless steel alloys, most of which are softer than mild steel, and combined with their length and cross sectional area of the neck it  makes them very easy to bend by hand.

Yes, but we're not talking about bending them by hand, are we? This is all about bending them with the mind.

Do try to keep up.

[buzby]

I'd happily break the seal on the rim of a jar of gherkins with a knife, but it'd fuck a spoon.

Guess we know who has been skimping on cutlery.

Cutlery knives have hardened blades to make them stiff enough for cutting and to retain their edge (steak or dinner knives) or to provide the required springiness (butter knives). Forks and spoons are usually not hardened (though in the cutlery set I have all the pieces are hardened).

Yes, but we're not talking about bending them by hand, are we? This is all about bending them with the mind.

Do try to keep up.

The force required to bend a spoon is the same regardles of whether it's applied by hand or psychokinetically.

[Zero Gravitas]

Flip-flop, flip-flop.

Your position on this is as bendy as a spoon dipped in ectoplasm.

[Bernice]

I've got a couple of pizza peels he can try. They're just like massive (reinforced spring steel) spoons mate; come on not scared are you mate?

You have a couple of pizza peels? Unless you're a pizzaiolo called Giuseppe who makes them justa likea mamma usedta make – and I know for a fact you aren't – you ought to be locked the fuck up as a little paddle nonce – which I know for a fact you are.

[Zero Gravitas]

I Cooka Da Pizza

Checks out.

[Ferris]

You have a couple of pizza peels? Unless you're a pizzaiolo called Giuseppe who makes them justa likea mamma usedta make – and I know for a fact you aren't – you ought to be locked the fuck up as a little paddle nonce – which I know for a fact you are.

The 2nd was purchased on my behalf when making a few dozen 'zas for a family get together. The idea being - what if while one person is putting the pie together on the peel, the other is already in use?

It probably doubles productive output, and if Geller bent one I'd be in the shit next time we have a load of family over.

[checkoutgirl]

doesn't mean he isn't dangerous to the 0.001% who believe his shit.

I wouldn't be able to comment on any real or perceived danger posed by Geller. Although he is different from someone like Derren Brown who uses copious disclaimers to say he uses showmanship and misdirection. Nor is he like Paul Daniels who is obviously a magician. Geller claims to be an actual psychic and will flat out deny that he uses cheap parlour tricks and persist in claiming he has real magic powers. It wouldn't be unreasonable to expect the BBC to not allow itself to be used as a publicity tool for Geller, a known and proven conman. It's a bit strange.

[checkoutgirl]

All but the cheapest knives and forks are a little too thick to get cocky about.

Randi brought his own spoons and said bend those ones smart guy. Geller ummed and ahhed and tried to bullshit his way out of it but anyone with half a brain knew he was full of shit. Luckily for Geller millions more were thick as two short planks and still thought he was psychic.

Being caught out on American national television in front of millions seemed to have no negative effect on his career whatsoever.

[Captain Z]

I believe Uri Gellar had real powers, which he probably got from being the first man in space. He moved the ball and healed Beckham's foot, these are facts.

[shiftwork2]

I can accept Uri Geller bending a spoon with his brain that is in his vicinity.  What I don't understand is how he shot his brainwaves out over the TV signal during Parkinson and bent millions of them.  Explain that.

[Brian Freeze]

I'd happily break the seal on the rim of a jar of gherkins with a knife, but it'd fuck a spoon.

Guess we know who has been skimping on cutlery.

Teaspoons for seal breaking everytime, the curve is perfect for getting the tip under and then rocking back against the bowl of the spoon to ease the vacuum. Your knife tip has no resistance to the lateral forces and ends up fucked.