The King, King Charles, has Cancer

[Mister Six]

I don't understand why they'd pretend he's alive. Surely when he dies they're going to be dancing a jig that it's not King Assault on the Eyes anymore.

Oh hang on I just remembered who is next in line yeah nevermind.

Good job palace PR is all hooray Henrys who don't actually know anything, otherwise they'd be training the deepfake AIs as we speak.

[Jasha]

they'll just put electrodes in his corpse like they did with her maj and get him to wave from a balcony every few months to throw people off the scent that he's been dead a while

its normally the scent that does it tho

[Alberon]

The King will sit apart from the main congregation at an Easter Matins service on Sunday in his first public appearance since beginning cancer treatment, The Telegraph can disclose.

In an arrangement agreed by the King's medical team to protect his health, he and the Queen will be seated slightly away from others in attendance at St George's Chapel, Windsor.

He is expected to be seen walking to church with the Queen and will – excluding any last-minute change to his schedule – enter through the Galilee Porch to join the service.

This is apparently supposed to be due to the infection risk, though it could be because if they get too close they'll realise IT ISN'T HIM!!!

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/royal-family/2024/03/29/king-charles-royal-family-easter-protect-health-cancer/

[Ferris]

He looks absolutely fucked. In the ground by Christmas.

Royal PR doing its best with Lady Rothmans:

The Queen, who also recently travelled to the Isle of Man and Belfast for solo trips, has continued her programme of engagements throughout the King's treatment.

She has received a noticeably warm welcome by crowds, with many sending their well wishes to the King. One palace source noted that the Queen's determination to carry on with her duties seemed to have "cemented her role at the heart of national life".

Pull the fuckin other one.

[Blue Jam]

...so he's immunocompromised then... means he's not having immunotherapy... and systemic effects would suggest it's not topical chemo shot directly up the old chap...

A proper carpet bombing of old school chemo it is then. A lot to put a gouty septuagenarian through. He'll be gone before the idea of having a king stops feeling weird.

Continuing to love the rehabilitation of The Rottweiler: "Presenting Queen Camilla... yeah, this is exactly what you monarchists didn't vote for, just tug your forelocks and suck it up, peasants."

[Blue Jam]

(alternatively he may not be immunocompromised at all and merely too fucked to show [up close])

[Blumf]

The King will sit apart from the main congregation at an Easter Matins service on Sunday in his first public appearance since beginning cancer treatment, The Telegraph can disclose

[Video Game Fan 2000]

"the swans and port are necessary to keep your alive, your majesty. as you can see the cancer cells are too numerous for chemo but this is exactly what makes them unable to get through the decades of gout"



"Unfortunately, this also calls for you to perform an unprecidented act of public service: we must request you take foie gras for breakfast"

[Terry Torpid]

Word on the street: pancreas fucked, 2 years max.

[Blue Jam]

According to various posts on Twitter over the last week or two, which I kept meaning to post here bit never did...

...it's claimed that Fleet Street has known for a while that Charles' cancer is pancreatic and therefore DEAD SOON

"a palace insider" is claiming the same and giving him two years tops:

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/king-charles-given-2-years-154317463.html

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/king-charles-isn-t-sure-145732842.html

[BlodwynPig]

That's hellish. Poor guy

[jobotic]

What "pub" does William go to? Can you imagine how bad it is?

[idunnosomename]

Id be an angry alcohol-dependent too if I was that bald

[imitationleather]

What's your excuse for being one when you're not?

[idunnosomename]

THAT MEGHAN MARKLE

[kalowski]

Typical. Terry Hall and Bill Hicks went in about 6 months with pancreatic cancer and his nibs here gets two years.
It's one rule for them...

[Blue Jam]

Learned something new today:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_of_England

William I (c. 1028–1087; r. 1066–1087), also known as William the Conqueror or William the Bastard

...and his dad was Robert the Magnificent. King William V AKA William The Bald won't be able to top any of that.

[Ambient Sheep]

"a palace insider" is claiming the same and giving him two years tops:

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/king-charles-given-2-years-154317463.html

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/king-charles-isn-t-sure-145732842.html

Thanks for those!

Well at least one thing on my list seems to be true then (and tbf, it was the one that seemed most plausible / well-sourced).

We never did get the big announcement on that Wednesday, did we?  Although we got Kate's video message on the Friday.

I see the second link mentions Charles' concerns about William's suitability, which had also been rumoured around the same time.

Mind you, you could argue that both articles are nothing more than rumours... :-)

[SpiderChrist]

Typical. Terry Hall and Bill Hicks went in about 6 months with pancreatic cancer and his nibs here gets two years.
It's one rule for them...

My dad had pancreatic cancer and got given 2 years as well. Doesn't mean he'll get 2 years though.

[jobotic]

Why is William not suitable then? I mean any more than any of the rest of them, or indeed anyone in the world.

[Jasha]

Why is William not suitable then? I mean any more than any of the rest of them, or indeed anyone in the world.

Spite jealousy and resentment, Chas waiting all those years for his chance then out first ball while baldy hasn't even been in the queue 5 minutes

[BlodwynPig]

What will Charles' reign be remembered for in the future dusty tomes of history?

[idunnosomename]

Cancer

[Underturd]

Brevity.

Wasn't there a rumour that he was going to be King George, because Charles was a bad omen? Ironic, that.

[Blumf]

Wearing long johns to his coronation, the mad lad.

[jobotic]

Being the last ever Monarch. He should be pleased, that's a big deal.

[Alberon]

Is this why they're not rushing to release any coins or notes with Charles' face on? They'll only have to redo it all again when King Wallace takes over?

Damien is probably whispering in Charles ear that the succession should skip a generation and go straight to him. We should pray this doesn't happen.

[BlodwynPig]

What a grotesque waste of time, money and effort

[idunnosomename]

Brevity.

Wasn't there a rumour that he was going to be King George, because Charles was a bad omen? Ironic, that.

possibly Liz Truss's fault. She called him King Charles in her Downing St speech before any official palace announcement of the regnal name.

[Blue Jam]

possibly Liz Truss's fault. She called him King Charles in her Downing St speech before any official palace announcement of the regnal name.

Liz Truss is an agent of chaos, you've got to give her that.