Landlord Cunt

[The Boston Crab]

The on-site landlord in the house my girlfriend and I are sharing has just sent her a message asking us to leave in a month. When I arrived, long after he knew I'd be living there, he said next morning that we'd have to pay an extra 30 quid a month for two-person room. I said 'no problem at all, just provide us with two person furnishing' and he backed down. Now he says that he and the other flatmates want to have more parties but don't want us to be uncomfortable living there so he'd prefer us to leave. For whatever reason, my girlfriend didn't sign a contract with this guy - I was in China at the time, plus he was a good friend of hers before she moved in.  There will be no problem getting back rent paid in advance or deposit, though.

Still, we'll be going back down there in about ten days, just before she begins her new term and a wodge of exams, plus she has several assignments to hand it later in the month. I'm furious with the cunt for a) being a pussy and not being honest originally and b) for shitting on us at a tough time. We're currently at my folks' place, for Christmas/NY, etc. so it's also really difficult to make any alternative living arrangements til we get back down.

NOT EVERYONE CARES so that's not my point.

Is there anything I can/should do to make life more difficult for this cunt? I'll cancel the internet which I set up under my name. I'll take up the kitchen floorboards and drop about five and a half pounds of crap down there. Anything I can do legally to improve my mood? Anything I can do illegally to improve my mood?

[phes]

sign him up for an array of embarrassing free samples sent out through the post.

http://www.mysavings.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=45558&PID=272055

[katzenjammer]

Piss through his letterbox, can't see any flaw in that plan.

[dandoystevski]

I'm furious with the cunt for a) being a pussy

Seems a bit harsh

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

'Arf.

Slay him with a scythe.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Constantly order takeaways, taxis, plumbers, electricians and any other local service until he's blacklisted and can't get anyone to come round. Oh, and that should include strippers / prostitutes / gorrilagrams too, especially if he's coupled up.

Sign him up for a lovefilm trial, but only select really slushy Richard Gere movies for him to watch.

[The Boston Crab]

I just heard that he doesn't want me living there because I'm a 'foreigner' and there might be cross-cultural problems...despite my living in his home country for the past five years, speaking his language and fully embracing his culture.

STUPID FUCKING RACIST CUNT

If I sent this story to the Daily Mail, they'd shit their black fucking souls.

[Kapuscinski]

This may be pointing out the obvious, but are you planning to speak to the other flatmates when you get there?

His story that the others concur in you needing to leave may be untrue, and you may be able to make him look bad to the others. You could also mention his reason for wanting you to leave, but I'm not sure how easy it would be to prove this.

Maybe if you see him in person after getting your money back you could say "And I could hear you wanking through the wall each night" loudly.

[The Boston Crab]

Thanks for response. Long story short, one flatmate is basically his dog, the other is never there and plans to leave in a few months. That's not a viable route. However, I can go to the real estate agency direct and inform them that having paid up-front for 9 months, having signed a contract with the agency, we're being asked, by the on-site landlord, to leave the house on grounds of race. Surely there's a law against this kind of thing?

Is there a viable legal case brewing? What chance do I have of ousting the cunt as on-site landlord?

[The Boston Crab]

If I called the Mail, I'd probably make a tidy packet for this shit.

'When we approached the property, the stench of Jasmine tea permeated the prim Surrey surroundings, a slice of Middle England slanted towards Middle Kingdom. The squint-eye sloped away around the back with his Chinky chum gingerly bringing up the rear, like a chastised Chow Chow. They looked like homosexuals as well."

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

What chance do I have of ousting the cunt as on-site landlord?

95%

[The Boston Crab]

Don't goad me, bro. I'll go feral!

[katzenjammer]

I just heard that he doesn't want me living there because I'm a 'foreigner'

You didn't mention you were a filthy immigrant, I'm with the landlord all the way now.

[Artemis]

Illegal asylum seekers, which is obviously what you are, can't handle parties or loud noise.

This is a scientific fact.

[rudi]

You didn't mention you were a filthy immigrant, I'm with the landlord all the way now.

I think you have this back to front. I think.

[Desi Rascal]

Thanks for response. Long story short, one flatmate is basically his dog, the other is never there and plans to leave in a few months. That's not a viable route. However, I can go to the real estate agency direct and inform them that having paid up-front for 9 months, having signed a contract with the agency, we're being asked, by the on-site landlord, to leave the house on grounds of race. Surely there's a law against this kind of thing?

Is there a viable legal case brewing? What chance do I have of ousting the cunt as on-site landlord?

You could try approaching the CRE might be worth holding back on the kippers under the floorboards in the mean time, who has he told the problem is you being "foriegn" a third party? if he's specified to the letting agency he only wants chinese tenents and they are willing to back you in a statement ro that effect you could well have a case.

[An tSaoi]

s there anything I can/should do to make life more difficult for this cunt? I'll cancel the internet which I set up under my name. I'll take up the kitchen floorboards and drop about five and a half pounds of crap down there. Anything I can do legally to improve my mood? Anything I can do illegally to improve my mood?

Yeast Bunnies.

[rudi]

Yeast Bunnies.

Christ on a trike.

[Braintree]

Do you think he fancies your girlfriend and you being there has ruined any chance of seducing her? It is clear she is only interested in you so he is punishing you both.

[bomb_dog]

Do you think he fancies your girlfriend and you being there has ruined any chance of seducing her?

"We gonna be good friends me and you Lynne ... Gooood friends"

[daimoniac]

Yeast Bunnies.

An, i have to congratulate you on your find here - im so doing this in a large hotel somewhere in the UK..

[The Boston Crab]

Do you think he fancies your girlfriend and you being there has ruined any chance of seducing her? It is clear she is only interested in you so he is punishing you both.

Definitely a secondary issue. He hounded her to move in with them originally.

Anyway, we've decided to just get a one-bedroom flat together, chew up some savings until I start work. Not ideal but we'll be happier. I'm going to report him to the landlord & agency, though. It's flat-out racist prejudice. Thanks for the advice, Desi.

[Emma Raducanu]

Do a poo in his tea.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

It's flat-out racist prejudice

No less than I'd expect from a sweating chink cunt.

[An tSaoi]

An, i have to congratulate you on your find here - im so doing this in a large hotel somewhere in the UK..

Links to harmful pranks are for entertainment purposes only. An tSaoi Inc. does not accept responsibility for any devilment that may be carried out as a result of said link.

[Artemis]

Also, doesn't it only work if you do it in every toilet? Good luck achieving that in a 'large hotel'. On a 'getting back at your landlord' basis though, it's a brilliantly horribly thing to do. I'll certainly keep it in mind for the future.