Top of the Pops on BBC Four - Thread Four

[kalowski]

DAVE BOWIE AND THE DAVE BOWIE BAND (ft. DAVE BOWIE) – Jump They Say (video)

Never fails to make me smile.

Anyway, I fucking hate Young At Heart.

[kaprisky]

I liked the transition from Jade into Robin S, where it goes all upside down.

When did UK television start using the 'camera on the violin bow' technique? Didn't one of Chris Rea's performances have one on the guitar?

New Order next week I think!

[Norton Canes]

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the age of club bangers, it was the age of car commercial reissues. It was the episode of Shaggy, it was the episode of Shabba. It was the hour of being a bit more chilled, not in a rush to get the spag bol done before collapsing on the sofa, instead happily on the third glass of pinot noir, it was the hour of only showing one episode because I don't know, probably they thought most of the target audience were already in bed.

It was 10pm.

And actually, despite the antitheses detailed above it was in fact an episode where most of the content fitted squarely in the bracket marked 'middling', or possibly 'undistinguished'. Don't Walk Away is pretty funky but Jade come across as a bit of a cut-price En Vogue. Show Me Love's a house anthem but it's not top-tier... is it? Come on, upper middle echelon at most? Okay, benefit of the doubt there perhaps. I'm Back For More, now that is the very dictionary definition of mediocre - the Platonic ideal, if you will. Though I will admit Bobby and Lulu's voices compliment each other perfectly, like the rough and smooth sides of Velcro. And it's great that they're being literally upstaged by the motley array of punters ranged behind them, giving us a lovely idea of what was flying off high street pegs in the spring of '93. Get back in line parting boy, you're not here to audition.

. . . and introducing Errol Flynn on the fiddle!

As I'm sure a Pops aficionado like yourself knows, it's the flamboyantly-monikered Bobby Valentino, variously session muso, solo artiste, actor, model and yes, we get the picture, self-styled heartthrob. Was reading his Wiki page to get the skinny on his Young At Heart court case and ended up on his own website, where the 'TV Commercials' section at the bottom of his Actor & Model page makes for interesting reading. Might want to remove that bit about the Colgate audition in the light of Me Too, Bobby mate. Just sayin'. Might also want to make a mental note never to agree to having a camera attached to you bow either, the crash-zoom-up-the-nostrils effect was far from flattering.

Anyway Young At Heart's forthcoming stint at the top is going to be quite a slog, even at a relatively brief four weeks. Despite the opportunity for a live vocal this was a seriously half-arsed turn with none of the brio of its '84 equivalent, Bobby Bluebell appearing to have undergone a Harry Enfield-esque metamorphosis at some point in the intervening years from a perky young Little Brother to a lank-haired, lackadaisical Kevin the Teenager. If only everything in life was as reliable a band making a cynical comeback on the back of an ad campaign being nowhere near as good as they used to be. 

Anyone else think the set designers are getting a bit lazy-ass, BTW? Wasn't so long ago we were lauding the crew for things like Carter's junkyard, and The Bluebell's bunting notwithstanding, now most of the stages are looking stripped back with nothing but a lot of dry ice filling in the space.

I liked the transition from Jade into Robin S, where it goes all upside down

Oh man, that was just the best thing, made even better by the way it gradually unfolded out of nowhere. At first it was like, is this just some crazy Dutch angle? Then, is the camera falling over? Then the bank of stage lights starts swivelling as the picture lurches around making you think for a moment the whole studio is actually in some Dancing on the Ceiling type revolving drum thing, and because the camera doesn't actually begin its pan to the other stage until the picture is completely upside down we're completely disoriented, so by the time it settles on Robin S we've no idea what really just happened except it was like we've been transported through some kind of gravity well. I still haven't quite worked it out. I'd love to think that actual jumps into hyperspace are more like this than anything we see from the bridge of the Millennium Falcon.

Hang on, just gonna watch it one more time.

Lovely.

And as if, in this show of otherwise mediocre parts one best-of-anything wasn't enough, it later gifts us a tantalising glimpse of the best David Bowie single ever, and therefore one of the best singles by anyone ever. Oh Dame David, if only you'd seen fit to erase the memories of your recent TOTP exploits with Tin Machine by bringing Jump They Say into the studio.

All of which doesn't leave much to mop up. Cliff becomes the latest turn to get the flambeaux treatment. Before he was on I was beginning to wonder if all the principal artists on the show were going to be either black or Scottish. I wonder why Tony was so keen to display his Spurs credentials this week? A cursory Google appears to indicate they'd enjoyed a 3-1 home victory over Manchester City the night before the show went out (Darren Anderton 23, Nayim 43, Mike Sheron 60, Andy Turner making it safe on 87) back in the day when Manchester City weren't quite such a prize scalp. Oh Carolina's been a great number one, with its ramshackle rhythm and clanging chimes of glee - over on Freakytrigger someone described Shaggy as sounding "as though his lunch menu consists of golden syrup and moist tarmac", which sums up his appeal as well as anything for me Clive. Has any other artist managed a studio performance for every week of a longer stint at the top of the chart?

Okay I'm done, a just about acceptable write-up of a just about acceptable show.

[Pauline Walnuts]

I never knew Young at Heart was a Banananananananananrama cover. Hat has been ruffled.

That's not anything like as irritating than the Bluebells one.

[daf]

. . . and produced by everyone's favourite weird "Two Face" gargoyle/sexbomb 70's hit-maker Barry Blue!


[1973 / 1974]

[Norton Canes]

Does anyone else get a Duran Duran earworm every time they read where Cliff Richard was born?

[Pauline Walnuts]

Planet Earth?

[gilbertharding]

(08) | CLIFF RICHARD – Peace In Our Time

His 'do the actions' dancing goes well with the mullet.

*kisses fingers*
*Peace sign*

Ridiculous old fraud.

"Doesn't he look young?"

No.

[non capisco]

Cliff's massive clunky trainers betrayed his age. 100% care home footwear.

[Pauline Walnuts]

They were the snizzle back in the 90s

[Norton Canes]

SHEEP ON DRUGS?!

Favourite audience member ever

[Icehaven]

That cat in the Madonna video is dead now.

[buzby]

(10) | DAVE BOWIE AND THE DAVE BOWIE BAND (ft. DAVE BOWIE) – Jump They Say (video)

Always been a bit of a fan of this track, and the accompanying video - this was around the time we first got Sky, and the video was on heavy rotation on MTV Europe at the time.

[daf]

The Tarmey!

[daf]

BROOOO-URNS!
BROOOO-URNS!

[buzby]

This Gloria Estefan track has got 'gay club anthem' written all over it.

Brooce! No doubt lamenting how there are no jobs in this town, now the steelworks has closed down.

Manilow backing up the claim that '93 Remix' is a close contender to '88 Remix' for the most awful

[daf]

Pushing the boat out for the Bazzington Private Dick Agency here!

[Icehaven]

Keytar! Shame he doesn't actually play it.

[buzby]

Sub Sub! Tune! Made a few bob for Rob Gretton's record label too, after they had been dropped by 10 Records. Rob would pay them back by allowing them to use New Order's rehearsal/demo studio in Cheetham Hill for a few years after their studio fire, becoming Doves in the process. He also helped finance their own label, Casino, to release Doves' first records.

[Icehaven]

David Hasselhoff and New Order, together at last.

[buzby]

Ahh, the infamous 'Baywatch' clip....
New Order were in LA to promote Republic, and Regret was doing well in the UK charts so TOTP asked them to do a 'live' insert via satellite. While being driven back to the hotel after (quite) a few drinks, they had the idea of doing the most 'LA' thing they could think of, which in 1993 was a Baywatch theme. They got permission to use part of the beach in Malibu where the show was filmed, and their US management got hold of Hasselhoff for a few minutes during a break in filming the show.

Given the tensions in the band at the time - the recording of the album was a fraught affair, with Sumner only agreeing to return from Electronic after renegotiating his royalty rate and a strict limit on touring  (they would play only 13 shows to promote the album), I imagine this was a welcome bit of light relief.

[Icehaven]

Is that Supergran in the Bluebells video?

[buzby]

Is that Supergran in the Bluebells video?

No, it's Molly Weir (McWitch from Rentaghost). alongside her were Clare Grogan (swoon!) as the waitress and Stratford Johns as the cook.

Supergran was Gudrun Ure.

[Icehaven]

No, it's Molly Weir (McWitch from Rentaghost).

Yeah knew she was from something.

[Norton Canes]

Disclosure: Absolutely rough as f*** today, won the pub quiz last night and ended up with a free pitcher of Sex on the Beach, then had a lock-in until 2am. Hangover from hell stuff, feels like I've had Mica Paris singing that opening bum note in my head all day. So not really up to extended Pops analysis tonight, and off to a beer festival in Manchester tomorrow. Don't worry though, nobody needs to miss out - I've taken the liberty of preparing some Bluebells musings in advance, seeing as they're the one act I know will be on the shows for sure. No, honestly, it was no trouble.


+++ BLUEBELLS MUSINGS BEGIN +++

0bvious th1ng I've learned about The Bluebells this week: Bobby Bluebell is not the singer.

It's a real shame that when their session violinist took the song's writer to court they didn't both use their stage names, because Valentino v Bluebell just sounds like the campest case ever. Anyway I've revised my opinion of Young At Heart (I haven't had much choice, it's been lodged in my head for the past seven days) and rather than finding it a bind I do now think it's a poignant little account of a changing attitude to parents and life at home, wrapped up in a slightly cutesy and underwhelming song as performed by the nascent 'Ramas but that received the melodic hook and big chorus it deserved when appropriated by its co-writer for his band's single release in 1984. Even got me a little bit misty-eyed this time round (as in tonight, not 1993). Definitely an overlooked feelgood, bittersweet pleasure. But wait! Is everything really as positively redemptive as it seems? Because the other thing the tune had grafted on was that incessant chant of "Happy now, happy now, happy now..." - but is it 'happy now', as it, everyone's happy now? Or, as the iPlayer subbies have it, a slightly more sinister and accusatory 'happy now?' Oh, just when you think you know a song.

But look, even though it probably did deserve to get to number one back in '84 (thanks a bundle Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Neil, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Prince, Tina Turner, Cindi Lauper and Grandmaster Flash) there's no place for its corporate whore reissue in the 1993 chart, sorry. I mean take look at the cover...



As if it wasn't enough that they've used the money shot from the ad as the main image they've also put the punchline in a little box JUST IN CASE YOU FORGOT and slapped the VW logo on for good measure. Ah well, at least it was for a good cause. What? It wasn't? Oh.

Has any other artist managed a studio performance for every week of a longer stint at the top of the chart?

Well The Bluebells certainly got close, but it was nice to get a showing of the original vid, if only for a glimpse of you-know-who (not McWitch). I know this wasn't a full reformation, just a temporary reunion for the single's re-release, but did they do any other telly? If not full marks for dedication to Top of the Pops.

April belongs to The Bluebells

+++ BLUEBELLS MUSINGS END +++ AWAIT FURTHER INFORMATION +++

(sorry, been playing a lot of Quake II this week)

[daf]

1 April 1993: Presenter: Mark Fr@nklin

(22) | CAPPELLA – U Got 2 Know
(06) | MADONNA – Fever (video and charts)
(23) | MICA PARIS – I Never Felt Like This Before
(19) | SUNSCREEM – Pressure Us (video)
- - - - - - - - - - - (Breakers) - - - - - - - - - - - -
(24) | BILL TARMEY – One Voice (video)
(18) | ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT – Tennessee (video)
(14) | W.W.F. SUPERSTARS – Wrestlemania (video)
(13) | GLORIA ESTEFAN – Go Away (video)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -



NEW | BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN – Lucky Town (via satellite)
NEW | BARRY MANILOW – Copacabana (At The Copa) (Remix)
(01) | THE BLUEBELLS – Young At Heart

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Egyptian Feast]

My first issue of Select! I mainly bought it for the Reservoir Dogs poster tbh. That proto-Britpop piece with the Dad's Army graphics and sidebars about why American stuff is shit was a bit of an embarrassment even then, but it's nice to read those interviews with Lawrence and Jarvis again. Do you have a scan of The Auteurs piece?

[Norton Canes]

Choice cuts from the entire issue, including the Auteurs article

[Egyptian Feast]

Lovely, ta!

[daf]

Probably was being a bit too subtle, but the link for the issue is also available by clicking the cover image (also on all the past Smash Hits ones)