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The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW: HAHALLOWEEN III: Shriekin’ of the Witch

Started by The Mollusk, August 23, 2021, 07:16:40 AM

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Kankurette

Flotesmysost on cats and their lack of decorum:
Quote from: flotemysost on December 03, 2021, 07:14:47 PMThat "As I was going to St. Ives" bollocks was bad enough.

I was at my cat-owning friend's place a few weeks ago and at one point all three cats were properly felching one another in a row, no coy "ooh I've never done this before" darting round the edges - straight in with the faces gleefully buried right in one another's anuses, a feline centipede if you will. Was too disgusted to count how many tails there were.

touchingcloth




Mr Banlon



Norton Canes



Kankurette

Shoulders on tonight's game:
Quote from: shoulders on December 06, 2021, 09:57:42 PMEverton and Arsenal should just be locked in a room until they fuck.

Ridiculous set of teams

Ferris

One half of a hypothetical phone call explaining why you had procured a birthday message from a sub-par Mr Bean impersonator.

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on December 06, 2021, 11:29:31 PMImagine buying someone a video message from him for their birthday. You'd have to spend 20 minutes trying to explain exactly what it was.

"Happy birthday, mum! What's that? The email? Did you like it? What was it? It's Mr. Bean! Couldn't you tell? No, he's not got cancer. No, mum. No. It's not Rowan Atkinson. It's an impressionist. Yes, mum, I spent perfectly good money getting a random old man who sounds like Robert Popper to do an impression of Mr. Bean for your birthday. You thought it was creepy? I thought he was brilliant. He does Del Boy and Frank Spencer as well. And Victor Meldrew. What? No, I'm fine. Honestly, mum, I'm fine. I know, but I'm fine. Claire's here, yes. No, we've not had a row. Yes, she knows I've bought this for you. She reckoned I should get you those nice towels you saw in John Lewis but I said, no, Mum loves Mr. Bean, let's get her a message from him, something really personal. I know it's not actually him. I told you that. Mum. Mum. I know. I know they were Egyptian cotton. Really soft. No, I don't know why Teddy was so big and had a squeaker. No, I can't get a refund. It was recorded especially for you. I thought you'd like it. Oh, come on, why are you crying now? I put a lot of thought into this. Mum. Mum? Mum?"


Norton Canes

Quote from: batwings on December 04, 2021, 11:29:59 AMThis is the worst thing I've ever seen and I discovered my brother's corpse.

Actually the more I look at this, the more it resembles the quintessential CaB post. The very Platonic ideal of a CaB post. An ur-post, if you will.

If I could sum up CaB in one post, it would be this.

Sonny_Jim





QDRPHNC

Quote from: MojoJojo on December 07, 2021, 05:01:37 PMWe did that in school.

Don't know if it counts as as terrifying or not, but the Duncton Wood books like a mole based rip off of Watership Down. But it's has a lot more rape, forced sodomy and necrophilia in it than Watership Down.



buttgammon



MoonDust


Kankurette

Sonny_Jim on everyone's favourite transphobic comedy writer:
Quote from: Sonny_Jim on December 08, 2021, 08:58:30 AMI love how the pisstaking we've been doing about him has been spun into this 15 year long ordeal that he's had to suffer through:

"Yes Officer, I would like to report a hate crime"
"Ok sir, what's happened"
"There's people on the internet who hate me and they've done these really horrible pictures of me with cum stained trousers and they joke that I sleep in a racecar bed *sniffle* I LOVE YOU ARTY....I'm not a banana I'm really not *sobs*"

Kankurette

From the ED-209 thread:
Quote from: The Dog on December 07, 2021, 03:13:44 PMFrazier: Something boring
The other one from Frazier: Something stupid
Next one from Frazier: Something boring and stupid.
Ed 209: Machine Guns everyone.
Human Race: Well done ed209, well done.

MoonDust

Quote from: idunnosomename on December 08, 2021, 11:38:02 AMIt looks like a butcher's diagram

A short and (hilariously) sweet description of the Reading lion statue in the city status thread.

Twit 2


MoonDust

Quote from: Twit 2 on December 08, 2021, 11:40:44 AMStill don't get how those numbers equal clowne.

For me they took me to some pub in a town called "Clowne" somewhere in England.

Twit 2

Quote from: MoonDust on December 08, 2021, 11:41:37 AMFor me they took me to some pub in a town called "Clowne" somewhere in England.

Oh I see, effort required on my part.

madhair60

Quote from: who cares on August 28, 2021, 12:29:47 PMAt the boot fair, walking up to a stall I spot a large brown vase. Two thoughts occur in sharp succession- "oh, I've got one a bit like that," followed by the urge to say, "how much is THIS?"; the 'THIS' part of the question referring to the act of me picking up the vase and throwing it as hard as possible through the rear window of their Range Rover.

pigamus