Ways to precipitate human extinction

[Johnny Foreigner]

It is a matter I have been pondering for decades, yet never found a satisfactory answer to. I am looking for concrete ways to make the disappearance of homo sapiens a fact. My reasons for this quest are pretty straightforward.

I trust we can all agree that, if Planet Earth is to survive, the most noxious of species must be eliminated once and for all. The exponential, explosive growth of humanity is doubtless the most cataclysmic calamity ever to befall the world, and it is happening right here under our noses.

Of course, there is the practical side to consider; the non-aggression principle precludes any use of violence, and the last thing the ecosystem needs is another global war. Ergo, there has to be another way to make a human-free world a reality.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how homo sapiens might be erased with the smallest possible impact upon other animals? Perhaps you might envisage a gradual process of sterilisation campaigns, of perhaps you would prefer a short, sharp shock instead? I should be interested to learn of any creative approaches.

[touchingcloth]

A particularly eggy guff.

[Captain Z]

Alright, Saturday night party people in the house!

[PlanktonSideburns]

Non violent way of ending a species? Just own it and murder everyone, who are you trying to impress?

Serious answer, series of dirty bombs to make large areas of earth no go areas, develop wild boar and cephalopod cooperation to acellerate the next apex

[JamesTC]

Put some non-recyclable plastic in the recycle bin.

[Cold Meat Platter]

Misanthropes are just mega-racists, really.

[jobotic]

Particularly edgy guff

[Dex Sawash]

Sever a brake hose

[Pinball]

According to ER, not insulating your house properly.

[Sebastian Cobb]

According to ER, not insulating your house properly.

Thought you meant the other ER and I dunno a helicopter crashing on people or something.

[Butchers Blind]

Just carry going down the path we are already on.

[Buelligan]

According to ER, not insulating your house properly.

Keep posting egregious guff like this and make us all yearn for the Great Silence.

[bgmnts]

I mean, planet earth will survive and animals will spring up out of the muck ages after we've gone. So I suppose take solace in that.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

how did a dalek manage to write four whole paragraphs with a plunger and an egg whisk

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Just dig a big grave and politely ask everyone to lay in it. You could probably get away with using a couple of big craters actually, if you don't fancy digging.

[BlodwynPig]

Omega variant

[Pink Gregory]

Just because the first world is like what it is doesn't mean that everyone else deserves extinction.

[All Surrogate]

I trust we can all agree that, if Planet Earth is to survive, the most noxious of species must be eliminated once and for all. The exponential, explosive growth of humanity is doubtless the most cataclysmic calamity ever to befall the world, and it is happening right here under our noses.

That's a load of bollocks. Humanity is nowhere near capable of threatening the survival of the planet - the problem is the reverse, in fact. The growth of humanity is already slowing, and is likely to continue as living standards improve overall - the old demographic-economic 'paradox' - just look at Japan. The rise of humanity is also small beer in comparison to previous 'calamities'; a brief survey of geological history would show that. The task isn't to diminish the diversity of existence, but ensure that human civilisation flourishes.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

All food and drinks packaged the same as corn beef = everyone dead by tea time.

[BlodwynPig]

That's a load of bollocks. Humanity is nowhere near capable of threatening the survival of the planet - the problem is the reverse, in fact. The growth of humanity is already slowing, and is likely to continue as living standards improve overall - the old demographic-economic 'paradox' - just look at Japan. The rise of humanity is also small beer in comparison to previous 'calamities'; a brief survey of geological history would show that. The task isn't to diminish the diversity of existence, but ensure that human civilisation flourishes.

Patently misleading. Cataclysms are generally natural phenomenon, the ebb and flow of nature, time, geology and energy. Human impact is an anomaly, an artificial disruptor, the forcing effect of potential unstable periodic orbits that could result in a wash out state for life on earth.

[Sebastian Cobb]

All food and drinks packaged the same as corn beef = everyone dead by tea time.

Lived with a posh londoner in uni that claimed they'd never eat a pie before they met me, had them eating corned beef out the tin with a fork by the end.

[TrenterPercenter]

Patently misleading. Cataclysms are generally natural phenomenon, the ebb and flow of nature, time, geology and energy. Human impact is an anomaly, an artificial disruptor, the forcing effect of potential unstable periodic orbits that could result in a wash out state for life on earth.

Humanity is just as a natural phenomena as anything else there is nothing artificial about it; even if humanity runs itself out there is nothing to say it was not worth it all in all in the end.

There is strange habit with this misanthropic view of the world that humans are separate from nature; implying some human-centric exceptionalism in their role in the universe whilst at the same time some fantasy love in with what is nature.  It's very weird; any sense you have of nature and it's greatness, purity or innocence is absolutely derived from your human consciousness.  The natural world is brutal and ruthless they doesn't change because you think a baby kangaroo is cute or tulips are incredible to look at; these are human impressions not reality (well in any sense a tulip thinks it is great for you to look at).

[mothman]

All food and drinks packaged the same as corn beef = everyone dead by tea time.

I now wear oven gloves every time I open a tin of corned beef. Enough is enough.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Imagine having to wind a little key to get into your Capri Sun.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Nice to see misanthropy getting a good old bashing in this thread.

[Pinball]

Keep posting egregious guff like this and make us all yearn for the Great Silence.

This is a comedy forum.

[chveik]

you're not funny pal

[BlodwynPig]

Nice to see misanthropy getting a good old bashing in this thread.

Its not misanthropy.

[BlodwynPig]

Humanity is just as a natural phenomena as anything else there is nothing artificial about it; even if humanity runs itself out there is nothing to say it was not worth it all in all in the end.

There is strange habit with this misanthropic view of the world that humans are separate from nature; implying some human-centric exceptionalism in their role in the universe whilst at the same time some fantasy love in with what is nature.  It's very weird; any sense you have of nature and it's greatness, purity or innocence is absolutely derived from your human consciousness.  The natural world is brutal and ruthless they doesn't change because you think a baby kangaroo is cute or tulips are incredible to look at; these are human impressions not reality (well in any sense a tulip thinks it is great for you to look at).

Point completely missed. Humans are the anomaly, rather their ability to act against (or with) natural order. Dropping a nuke is not any ecological trait im aware of.

Stick to politics Trenter.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tunguska_event

The idea of a 'natural order' or a prehuman harmony is what is bunk. Chaos and cataclysm has always been the norm.