They don't like it up 'em

[wooders1978]

I brokeup with a girl who suggested we go back to her place and try this - dodged a bullet there

[Sebastian Cobb]

To be fair you've got to hand it to someone who can come up with any sort of excuse when they've got their dick stuck in something or something stuck up their arse.

I once got my head stuck in a bannister and all I could think was 'what if I'm stuck like this forever?'.

[buzby]

I'm guessing it wasn't attached to the cartridge shell as in the picture on the news site, otherwise getting 26" up inside you is seriously impressive.

Other news outlets are reporting it as a 57mm mortar shell used by the Royal Artillery in WWII. That picture you have posted is a WW2 Russian 57mm UO-271 High Explosive fragmentation round

The picture of the actual shell that has been removed from the unfortunate gentleman compared to a human hand looks like it is a British WWII 6-pounder Armour Piercing shell (Shot, AP Mk4 or 5 by the looks of it) which was used by the standard 6-pounder Anti-Tank gun:

It's a solid steel shot, the only pyrotechnic element would have been a tracer unit fitted into the base that would have been burned up when it was fired. I'm sure the bomb disposal unit had a rught laugh being called out for that.

[Mr Banlon]

On the plus side, his farts now sound like a muted trumpet.
https://youtu.be/m2rMcJ3RgGI?t=17

[idunnosomename]

LOAD THE SIX-POUNDER

six six six
POUNDER

[flotemysost]

The problem with putting stuff up your arse is, where do you start?

Start small and slow, objects with flared base only (to avoid the fate of matey here), lots (lots!) of lube, and yeah you'll be grand. Apparently.

To be fair you've got to hand it to someone who can come up with any sort of excuse when they've got their dick stuck in something or something stuck up their arse.

I once got my head stuck in a bannister and all I could think was 'what if I'm stuck like this forever?'.

I've shared before my pathetic story of how I once told a teacher I was only pretending to eat, when I once got called out in class for eating a bit of sugar paper (wtf do they expect though, calling it that? Tasted like shit anyway, 1/10) so yeah utmost respect for anyone who manages to style out a chekky unexploded artillery up the bum

[Sebastian Cobb]

I think most kids eat sugar paper in my school, they only really bothered if you moved on to crayons.

no but the bit before the comma is true

[Sonny_Jim]

You've got to feel sorry for people who have genuinely slipped and fallen on phallic shaped objects. No one would ever believe it was an accident.

Yeah at this point you've got to feel sorry for anybody who's genuinely had it happen by accident.  I'd probably just lie anyway.  What's worse, people thinking you stuck something up your arse, or people thinking you are ashamed to admit you stuck something up your arse?  Definitely a thinker.

What other excuse could you give for having a foreign object up where the sun doesn't shine?

Well, it usually has to revolve around getting in/out of the shower, as that's the only period of time you can say you were naked.  It's difficult to imagine it happening during a toilet visit, as there's only a brief period of time of exposed anus before your cheeks hit the seat.  Also who's going to believe that a WWII mortar shell swam up the U bend into your sphincter?  Best I can come up with is this:

You were painting the hallway, except it was really hot, right?  So you were going to do it naked (because of the heat), but instead you went and got one of the paper overalls.  Then whilst hanging one foot off a ladder to get to a tricky spot, you slipped and fell on the XYZ object on the floor.  You could enforce the illusion by flicking a bit of paint in your arse hairs or something.

[Pink Gregory]

On the contrary, I think one can conclude that they *do*, in fact, like it up 'em.

[shoulders]

used by the standard 6-pounder

.

#bnths

[JamesTC]

Touch my bum, this is live.

[Dex Sawash]

Is there a mortar round of a caliber that would accept a bog roll tube to work as a dispenser?

"Bogroll holder fell off wall, have been using mortar shell as field expedient holder. Was having a poo and ran out of paper, lots of wiping you see, partner likes that horrible paper with lotion in, which explains the apparent lubricant, anyhow got up to get another roll and slipped, and, funny story, fell on the pointy end and it went right up, barely touched the sides"

Asking for a friend

[buzby]

Is there a mortar round of a caliber that would accept a bog roll tube to work as a dispenser?

A toilet roll tube is about 40mm, so a WW2-era Soviet 37mm spade mortar round would be suitable:


Alternatively, you could use the projectile from a WW2 US M3 37mm Anti Tank gun shell:

[Johnny Yesno]

Thanks Buzby. My military enthusiast friend wouldn't know what to do without your help getting to the bottom of which munition to choose.

Here's a link to the Mirror story for those who are correct that the most shameful thing about this hole debacle is the Heil link in the op: https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/bomb-squad-race-ae-after-25612917

[TrenterPercenter]

Thanks Buzby. My military enthusiast friend wouldn't know what to do without your help getting to the bottom of which munition to choose.

Here's a link to the Mirror story for those who are correct that the most shameful thing about this hole debacle is the Heil link in the op: https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/bomb-squad-race-ae-after-25612917

Yes bit this one doesn't have the hilarious picture of the bomb disposal drone pre-anus probing.

[pigamus]

A toilet roll tube is about 40mm, so a WW2-era Soviet 37mm spade mortar round would be suitable:

We're off to Button Moon, we followed Comrade Spoon

[Catalogue of ills]

It's like someone rearranged the words in "he's really come out of his shell"

[Glebe]

[mothman]

He certainly knew how he did that!