The all cats have three tails theorum

[Porky]

Many people use the same logic .. Proof. No cat has two tails. Since one cat has one more tail than no cat, therefore all cats must have three tails. ..that the logic is totally preposterous is or should be obvious to anyone but what all too many people fail to see is why it is preposterous.

[pancreas]

Can you explain why it is preposterous, though? What's the logical fallacy at work?

[Captain Z]

OK, image doesn't work. But plenty of pics of cats with 2 tails.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Surely the idea is that it's intentionally preposterous because anybody can observe that most cats have one tail (some have none). The statement "one cat has one more tail than no cat" does not tell you how many tails "one cat" has unless you know how many tails "no cat" has, and may in fact lead you to an erroneous conclusion.

[The Mollusk]

Fuck are you on about mate

[Buelligan]

We should ask The Dog how many dicks this thread has.

[Blinder Data]

Multiply this cat by three and that's what I'm whipping you with for starting a nonsensical thread, boy

BEND OVER

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

No cat's on first.

[hamfist]

reading this on the toilet and tbh I don't think I can get off it now

[Johnny Foreigner]

I'm pretty sure that is not how 'theorem' is spelt.
Besides, I believe this is actually an enthymeme, the præmise that 'no cat has two tales' being an assertion rather than an observation.

[Johnny Yesno]

Tails of the unexpected

[Shit Good Nose]

Our cat is stood next to me showing me her bumhole as I type this.  Definitely one tail.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

*

[Jittlebags]

Our cat is stood next to me showing me her bumhole as I type this.  Definitely one tail.

Reminds me. I've got some pencils that need sharpening.

[Johnny Yesno]

Reminds me. I've got some pencils that need sharpening.

That reminds me, I've got some tea towels that need hanging up and occasionally dropping on the floor.

[shoulders]

Well I was appalled, and very nearly walked out, to be on a British Comedy Forum where theories about cats tails are wheeled out for you to make smutty and offensive remarks about. I find it a shameless display of vulgarity, towards a gambit. I think the theory has come over with considerable dignity and you've come over as an arsehole.

[flotemysost]

That "As I was going to St. Ives" bollocks was bad enough.

Our cat is stood next to me showing me her bumhole as I type this.  Definitely one tail.

I was at my cat-owning friend's place a few weeks ago and at one point all three cats were properly felching one another in a row, no coy "ooh I've never done this before" darting round the edges - straight in with the faces gleefully buried right in one another's anuses, a feline centipede if you will. Was too disgusted to count how many tails there were.

[Butchers Blind]

If cat has three tails means more options when swinging it.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

What about the cat o' nine tails?

[Dr Trouser]

You can't prove no cat has 2 tails so this fails at the first hurdle. Also it's 6th form pseudoscience claptrap, have you tried doing sex?

[Mister Six]

What's a cat?

[flotemysost]

Dans les ombres de la nuit, tous les chats ont trois queues.

[Captain Z]

Dans les ombres de la nuit, tous les chats ont trois queues.

Because un deux trois cat sank

[JesusAndYourBush]

Many people use the same logic

It'd be easier to understand if you listed one of the genuine fallacious examples that "many people" are using, rather than this fictitious cat one.

[touchingcloth]

Some cats don't not have one tails.

[Kankurette]

Our cat is stood next to me showing me her bumhole as I type this.  Definitely one tail.

She loves you! Nothing says love like a cat's arse in your face.

[Wonderful Butternut]

You can't prove no cat has 2 tails so this fails at the first hurdle. Also it's 6th form pseudoscience claptrap, have you tried doing sex?

It's also not necessarily the case that one cat has one tail, some have none, but you don't even need to go that far. The statement uses the term 'no cat' to mean two different things and thus is bollocks before you have to even consider how many tails a cat has.

[touchingcloth]

One cat has infinity more tails than minus one cat so all cats have infinity minus one tail.

[Buelligan]

Is the cat in a box?

[JesusAndYourBush]

Is the cat in a box?

No, just its tail.