Cook'd and Bomb'd

Forums => General Bullshit => Topic started by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on March 02, 2021, 11:21:32 PM

Title: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on March 02, 2021, 11:21:32 PM
- No the standard Colgate white clag, but that blue gel stuff with the retro mint flavour that some shite old brands still offer. Tastes like it's working more. Know what I mean...?

Plenty more like this, great thread in the offing



Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: flotemysost on March 02, 2021, 11:32:18 PM
Big shampoo (https://uk.lush.com/products/sea-salt-shampoo/big), made with sea salt. Literally makes your hair squeak with cleanliness as you scrub it over your head. Too expensive to be a regular thing but it's quite an experience, makes your loaf smell like a margarita afterwards too.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Mr_Simnock on March 02, 2021, 11:41:07 PM
Aesop hand-wash (https://www.aesop.com/uk/p/body-hand/hand-and-body-gifts/resurrection-aromatique-hand-wash/), amazing smell and lasts for month if a bit pricey.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Thursday on March 02, 2021, 11:42:51 PM
Chlorine - Doesn't matter that you're in a swimming pool full of kids pissing themselves. The chlorine kills all the worst germs.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Marner and Me on March 02, 2021, 11:59:12 PM
Listerine
Vosene
Tobasco
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Ptolemy Ptarmigan on March 03, 2021, 12:09:18 AM
- No the standard Colgate white clag, but that blue gel stuff with the retro mint flavour that some shite old brands still offer. Tastes like it's working more. Know what I mean...?

Plenty more like this, great thread in the offing

Colgate tastes disgusting. As far as I can see it's never one of the ones with a British Dental Board recommendation on the box. Something to do with it having 'By Royal Appointment' on it, or is it just shit?

Oral B toothpaste has got a nice medicinal taste. Makes me want to rip off my mask and talk like Marilyn Monroe.

What happened to Dentyne Chewing Gum?

That's all from me for now.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Butchers Blind on March 03, 2021, 12:13:48 AM
Bleach. Not the lemon fresh nonsense or the ocean scented rubbish, proper bleach. The clear, thick, strong, chlorine-like bastard that chokes your throat and burns your nasal hairs. BLEACH!!!
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on March 03, 2021, 12:20:53 AM
Both toothpaste and fairy liquid have foaming agents added just to give you the 'mugs eyefull'. The stuff dentists use have the cleaning stuff without the foam so they can see what they're doing, same with dishwashers.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: TrenterPercenter on March 03, 2021, 07:41:35 AM
Both toothpaste and fairy liquid have foaming agents added just to give you the 'mugs eyefull'. The stuff dentists use have the cleaning stuff without the foam so they can see what they're doing, same with dishwashers.

Is foam part of the process of cleaning though; I mean I understand you don't need foam for bleaching or anti-bac properties but I thought soaps "bubbling" was part of how it separates grease and binds water to dirt.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Norton Canes on March 03, 2021, 09:15:32 AM
Sensodyne Pronamel. Makes other toothpastes taste like sweets.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Huxleys Babkins on March 03, 2021, 09:31:34 AM
Tried Lidl's toothpaste. You presume all toothpastes are basically the same, but this was horrible. Barely any mint taste and my teeth felt just as plaquey as when I started. Binned.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: NoSleep on March 03, 2021, 09:39:27 AM
- No the standard Colgate white clag, but that blue gel stuff with the retro mint flavour that some shite old brands still offer. Tastes like it's working more. Know what I mean...?

Plenty more like this, great thread in the offing

It's particular to the UK (probably not just the UK) where they market toothpastes with tastes like minty sweets. The same brands will have a medical taste in Germany because those flavours tell you it's doing its job. Whatever sells best.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on March 03, 2021, 09:48:37 AM
Used to use aquafresh spearmint, the thought of it makes me ill now.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Gregory Torso on March 03, 2021, 11:01:57 AM
I use that black toothpaste. I'm well goffick.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: idunnosomename on March 03, 2021, 11:12:55 AM
Ever breathed in any Mr Muscle? Yowza! You wouldn't want to put that on your oven only wearing a vest
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on March 03, 2021, 11:15:00 AM
Ever breathed in any Mr Muscle? Yowza! You wouldn't want to put that on your oven only wearing a vest

Nah, I stick to glue in a bag.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: poodlefaker on March 03, 2021, 11:28:03 AM
EUTHYMOL is the one true toothpaste. Dig that Edwardian branding. It's pink and tastes like disinfectant. None of that flouride nonsense. This is what Virginia Woolf's mouth must've tasted like.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on March 03, 2021, 11:30:07 AM
I think the dentists not on the payroll of big toothpaste generally have the consensus of "I don't care what toothpaste, just brush your fucking teeth".
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: poodlefaker on March 03, 2021, 11:33:16 AM
Francis Bacon brushed his teeth with Vim. Hardcore.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on March 03, 2021, 11:39:25 AM
Rick Stallman brushes his teeth with emacs, which is why they're all furry.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Cuellar on March 03, 2021, 11:42:08 AM
Hand sanitizers in these covid times. The ones with aloe vera or something, so it smells better/doesn't feel as caustic? Get rid of. I want it burning my hands clean, smelling like a desperate booze man's face.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on March 03, 2021, 11:43:17 AM
EUTHYMOL is the one true toothpaste. Dig that Edwardian branding. It's pink and tastes like disinfectant. None of that flouride nonsense. This is what Virginia Woolf's mouth must've tasted like.

My mate uses that stuff, it’s foul. Have to bring our own toothpaste if we stay in his spare room.

I’m all for being kooky, but there are limits.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: The Ombudsman on March 03, 2021, 11:43:38 AM
I'm not a fan of mint flavouring. Has anyone had a non minty toothpaste before? I tried one once and it was like brushing your teeth with a fishermans friend picked out the dirt.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: The Ombudsman on March 03, 2021, 11:45:08 AM
Hand sanitizers in these covid times. The ones with aloe vera or something, so it smells better/doesn't feel as caustic? Get rid of. I want it burning my hands clean, smelling like a desperate booze man's face.

I got a hand gel thing from M&S as it had a key chain attachment. Smells exactly like rum. I expect it perhaps once was cheap rum.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on March 03, 2021, 11:45:48 AM
I'm not a fan of mint flavouring. Has anyone had a non minty toothpaste before? I tried one once and it was like brushing your teeth with a fishermans friend picked out the dirt.

Sounds like our old friend Euthymol:

EUTHYMOL is the one true toothpaste. Dig that Edwardian branding. It's pink and tastes like disinfectant. None of that flouride nonsense. This is what Virginia Woolf's mouth must've tasted like.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on March 03, 2021, 11:51:17 AM
Hand sanitizers in these covid times. The ones with aloe vera or something, so it smells better/doesn't feel as caustic? Get rid of. I want it burning my hands clean, smelling like a desperate booze man's face.

I bought a gallon of this cheap hand soap, mainly to cut waste on chucking out little bottles. It's the same as the shit they dump in a lot of office soap pumps:
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51QQ0-2ZJ%2BL._SL1000_.jpg)

It reminds me of pooing on the clock.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on March 03, 2021, 11:51:37 AM
Original Source Mint and Tea Tree shower gel. Makes bellends and fannies sting.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on March 03, 2021, 11:56:11 AM
Original Source Mint and Tea Tree shower gel. Makes bellends and fannies sting.

Has anyone tried that weird 'German engineering. For your hair!' stuff with caffeine in it for some reason?

Should I put some nescafe in my hair?
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Huxleys Babkins on March 03, 2021, 12:43:47 PM
Vikki Butler-Henderson does the voiceover on those caffeine shampoo ads and she's got a lovely full head of hair. Can't argue with the evidence.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on March 03, 2021, 12:46:50 PM
We’ve ended up being a Dr Bronners household even though it smells like herbal tea and bleach.

The bottle has the soap to water ratio to use it on the car so that’s something.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Brundle-Fly on March 03, 2021, 12:58:34 PM
The satisfying scent of dissolving human hair and old flesh matter down the bath plug hole?  Why, that's HD's Caustic Soda / Sodium Hydroxide Industrial Grade Strong Drain Opener, Dennis.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Cuellar on March 03, 2021, 01:01:50 PM
Yes. Used some of that in a shower drain as a student once and I could HEAR it burning the hair and assorted gunge and crap away.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Blumf on March 03, 2021, 01:06:41 PM
Coal tar soap, the proper stuff, not Wright's tea tree oil bollocks. Smells like harsh chemicals, must be doing it right.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: poodlefaker on March 03, 2021, 01:20:50 PM
Has anyone tried that weird 'German engineering. For your hair!' stuff with caffeine in it for some reason?

Should I put some nescafe in my hair?
I was  given some of this stuff. It doesn't make your hair grow back, but it adds volume to what you've got left. Strong Tony Hart/Ken Barlow vibes.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on March 03, 2021, 01:21:42 PM
The satisfying scent of dissolving human hair and old flesh matter down the bath plug hole?  Why, that's HD's Caustic Soda / Sodium Hydroxide Industrial Grade Strong Drain Opener, Dennis.

Though before anyone uses caustic soda (which is fucking good stuff) check your pipes as that stuff burns through plastic. This is speaking from experience, sadly.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Marner and Me on March 03, 2021, 01:23:09 PM
I was  given some of this stuff. It doesn't make your hair grow back, but it adds volume to what you've got left. Strong Tony Hart/Ken Barlow vibes.
Knew a guy who used it, was tempted to put Veet in it
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: The Ombudsman on March 03, 2021, 01:24:26 PM
Sounds like our old friend Euthymol:

It could have been that actually. Or Germoline.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: poodlefaker on March 03, 2021, 01:25:52 PM
I'm not a fan of mint flavouring. Has anyone had a non minty toothpaste before? I tried one once and it was like brushing your teeth with a fishermans friend picked out the dirt.
You used to be able to get fennel-flavoured toothpaste from health-food/hippie shops. American, I think. I went out with a goth who used it.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Voltan (Man of Steel) on March 03, 2021, 01:38:24 PM
(https://i.postimg.cc/rpwbZzpc/89-CCD197-755-B-4478-8370-E66331-CD172-A.jpg)
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Dex Sawash on March 03, 2021, 02:57:50 PM
Cocaine
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Blumf on March 03, 2021, 03:03:08 PM
Cocaine

What does cocaine smell off? Must be nice.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on March 03, 2021, 03:37:30 PM
What does cocaine smell off? Must be nice.

I know a guy more closely involved in the drug scene and he says that cocaine smells 'mental'.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Norton Canes on March 03, 2021, 03:39:55 PM
Coal tar soap, the proper stuff, not Wright's tea tree oil bollocks. Smells like harsh chemicals, must be doing it right

Went out to get some soap as the shortages were kicking in around this time last year and came home with a 4-pack of Wright's Coal Tar as it was all I could find. The kitchen immediately stank of antiseptic and still does, because we're still only on the fourth bar, the stuff just does not seem to wear away.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Marner and Me on March 03, 2021, 03:40:18 PM
Raw cocaine or the finished product more cut up than a goths wrist?
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Marner and Me on March 03, 2021, 03:40:52 PM
Went out to get some soap as the shortages were kicking in around this time last year and came home with a 4-pack of Wright's Coal Tar as it was all I could find. The kitchen immediately stank of antiseptic and still does, because we're still only on the fourth bar, the stuff just does not seem to wear away.
My dad used to use it, fucking vile stuff
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on March 03, 2021, 03:42:37 PM
Though before anyone uses caustic soda (which is fucking good stuff) check your pipes as that stuff burns through plastic. This is speaking from experience, sadly.

Really? I thought caustic soda was in those oven cleaning kits where you put the bags in a rack. They tell you to pour it down the sink.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on March 03, 2021, 03:45:38 PM
Really? I thought caustic soda was in those oven cleaning kits where you put the bags in a rack. They tell you to pour it down the sink.

Well, these were the crystals you can buy in tubs from hardware store and dilute in water. All I know is, either the pipes were made of paper, or caustic soda fucks up plastic pipes in certain circumstances. We were using fair quantities as it didn't seem to be clearing the blockage in the bath*. When I'd used the stuff first time out, it had worked a treat unclogging fat from a narrow metal pipe leading down the sink to the drains outside the flat.


*it was a clusterfuck of poor, faulty and fundamentally flawed design of the pipework in the bathroom as well as issues with the exterior piping outside that contributed. The blockages were insane, and haven't been repeated anywhere I've lived since. Naturally, the landlord blamed us rather than listening to the 6 seperate plumbers called out (who to be fair each only partly diagnosed the problem)

Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on March 03, 2021, 03:48:28 PM
Caustic soda deffo melts pipes if you put a lot of it down the sink. I used to know the safe dilution but as if that information was worth retaining.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Video Game Fan 2000 on March 03, 2021, 07:55:29 PM
When I was a kid I once turned around quick while me mum was doing the polishing and got a gobfull of Mr Sheen.

The taste was really making me nauseous so following small child logic I thought if I licked the coffee table that was recently cleaned with the same product it would get rid of it.

It didn't. My mouth tasted like Willy Rushton's handwriting for days after.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Marner and Me on March 03, 2021, 08:20:24 PM
Horseradish Sauce
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: beanheadmcginty on March 03, 2021, 08:53:25 PM
What does cocaine smell off? Must be nice.

The good shit smells like petrol.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Chedney Honks on March 03, 2021, 08:55:34 PM
Ardbeg Uigeadail
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Utterdrivel on March 04, 2021, 01:38:20 PM
I have prescription toothpaste because I'm special. Ultra high fluoride, baby.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: poodlefaker on March 04, 2021, 01:44:20 PM
My dad always insisted on non-flouride toothpaste. He reckoned since they were putting it in the water that was enough. Boots still make it.

State of the old man's hampsteads, tho.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on March 04, 2021, 01:55:04 PM
Does floridosis go away? I remember some people at school having chalky teeth but I can't mind seeing it in an adult, but thinking about it I moved away from midlands/severn trent water which I think might be more processed, especially as they added birmingham to the water network and that comes all the way from wales rather than a river.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Utterdrivel on March 04, 2021, 03:21:14 PM
Original Source shower gel, the mint one specifically. My go-to shower accompaniment for those times I need a freezing menthol arsecrack and ballbag.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Marner and Me on March 04, 2021, 03:41:02 PM
Original Source shower gel, the mint one specifically. My go-to shower accompaniment for those times I need a freezing menthol arsecrack and ballbag.
Used to like it until started giving me skin irritation, I then moved Sanex like a big girlie
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: seepage on March 04, 2021, 04:31:32 PM
Aldi do an imitation Sanex if you want to save some cash.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Brundle-Fly on March 04, 2021, 04:40:24 PM
When I was a kid I once turned around quick while me mum was doing the polishing and got a gobfull of Mr Sheen.

The taste was really making me nauseous so following small child logic I thought if I licked the coffee table that was recently cleaned with the same product it would get rid of it.

It didn't. My mouth tasted like Willy Rushton's handwriting for days after.

I had a similar experience after accidentally eating some Winalot. My mouth tasted of Clement Freud's (Barry - snip!)
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Marner and Me on March 04, 2021, 04:41:47 PM
Aldi do an imitation Sanex if you want to save some cash.
The fuel I'd use driving to Aldi would far out weigh that. Cheers though.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Fr.Bigley on March 04, 2021, 04:43:33 PM
JEYES. FUCKING. FLUID.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on March 04, 2021, 04:54:45 PM
Should just be called "PISS NEUTRALISER".
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Fr.Bigley on March 04, 2021, 04:58:28 PM
Should just be called "PISS NEUTRALISER".

A stalwart of the "washing your outside step" in my neck of the woods...Covers up any bad smell...with a better one. mmmmm toxic.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on March 04, 2021, 06:03:04 PM
JEYES. FUCKING. FLUID.

A to-the-point brand name for a lubricant. Fair play.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Marner and Me on March 04, 2021, 07:57:23 PM
Parafin
Bitchumen
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: JaDanketies on March 04, 2021, 08:10:12 PM
Once I put Deep Heat cream on my balls. Once was enough.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Marner and Me on March 04, 2021, 08:37:34 PM
Once I put Deep Heat cream on my balls. Once was enough.
To kinky was it
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: flotemysost on March 04, 2021, 08:54:43 PM
Bitchumen

Putting the crude in crude oil.

Agree though, any sort of fresh road tarmac aroma is fucking glorious.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Video Game Fan 2000 on March 04, 2021, 09:30:06 PM
I had a similar experience after accidentally eating some Winalot. My mouth tasted of Clement Freud's (Barry - snip!)

I don't understand the comparison. Did you lick your dog?
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: flotemysost on March 05, 2021, 06:56:41 PM
I bought some Dettol with Choroxylenol in it recently. Gave my phone a quick wipe with some on a cloth earlier, hours ago, and my flat still smells of it. Fucking love it.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Marner and Me on March 05, 2021, 11:59:55 PM
Fags, you smell someone smoking one of them and you know it's working like a fucker
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Norton Canes on March 13, 2021, 12:40:57 PM
Been using arnica gel on my sore shoulder lately, mmm yes the sickly-sweet aroma of arnica, seems almost luscious and syrupy enough to drink... then I realised I was getting a massive hit off the ethanol. It's basically just an alcohol rub.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: thenoise on March 16, 2021, 08:41:01 AM
My Dad came back from a business trip to Japan with a mini tube of Japanese toothpaste. Tasted like mixed herbs. Strangely low key, and delicious. Nobody else would touch the stuff but I loved it.
Title: Re: Tastes/smells like it's working
Post by: Dex Sawash on April 06, 2021, 12:01:01 PM
Wife got a new aromatherapy spritzer. Did not confirm if smell matched the label.

(https://i.postimg.cc/7ZXvc9nX/20210405-203007.jpg)