Relationship Breakups

[HappyTree]

Some people are born in exactly the same place at exactly the same time? Oh really. Just read up on it yourself now if you're interested. Which you're not.

[Ginyard]

Oh moma, if only papa had stimulated your nipples more that day I'd be teaching linguistics in luxembourg by now instead of staring at bits of sock and peanuts

[Jemble Fred]

if you're interested. Which you're not.

Come on that's unfair, I think we've all shown how fascinated we are in all this bollocks.

[ziggy starbucks]

I'm a Virgin

Sorry, I meant Virgo. Honest

Today's horoscope tells me I will get no sex for months and live a lonely life with only my sore balls for company. As my body slides into mid life decline, my mind will slowly unravel as I drift into confusion and fear. My small savings will dwindle as I fritter it on pies and out-of-season fruit. I may kill again even though I promised myself last time that it was just a one-off. The boredom of everyday existence contrasting with the thrill of jabbing a knife into a bald man's guts at a Luton bus stop. I have control over my destiny but the open roads are limited to those heading towards two metaphorical towns, one called Failure the other called Shame.

Or so astrologer Majorie Orr claims in today's paper.

[Ginyard]

You, dear Scorpio, have the extraordinary destiny of being an Influencer.  You have the ability to affect others by your strength, determination, and charisma.  The word influence comes from a term meaning to flow.  One of Webster's dictionary definitions of this word states, "the supposed flowing of an ethereal fluid or power from the stars, thought by astrologers to affect the characters and actions of people."  This ability to influence means you have the gift of working closely with power.  The decisions you make about what kind of influence you want to be and what kind of affect you want to have on people and the world are part of every Scorpio's path. You will also have a big cock and be prone to urinary tract infections. You will live to 121.

[HappyTree]

Thank-you for finding the limit of my patience. Wasn't that fun? Do any of you ever actually interact with anyone in a genuine manner or is it all a front of bravado, cynicism, sneery sarcasm and wisecracks? Rhetorical question.

This thread is about relationship breakups. All I did was make a throwaway comment "she's a Leo". Maybe you could start a new thread in future if you want to hound everything I say and try to crush it before your eyes. And then I'll probably begin replying earnestly and get subsequently fed up with the sheer volume of scared, laconic refusal to take anything seriously that you don't already think you know all about.

As I said, read about it your fucking selves if you really want to learn rather than just scoff.

[Desi Rascal]

Yep. BabiesLurkers  start smiling at about 4 months and kicking a month or so after. By 8 months they're doing monologues, reciting memes and planning tags. By the time they come out they're practically professors.

fixed

[Herbert Ashe]

One of my closest friends was born within 12 hours of me, in the same hospital, nearly 30 years ago. Let's see how we turned out:

HIM: mediocre qualification, mediocre but secure job in computing, has mortgage, has had reasonable success in relationships, likes rugby, prefers cats, balding, tall.

ME: good qualifications but stagnating research degree, run out of funding, living with family again, shit at relationships, likes football, prefers dogs, not balding, short.

We are both men who really like crisps and cricket though. If that isn't evidence for the effect of extra-terrestrial gravitational fields on our brains then I don't know what is!

[Ginyard]

Thank-you for finding the limit of my patience. Wasn't that fun? Do any of you ever actually interact with anyone in a genuine manner or is it all a front of bravado, cynicism, sneery sarcasm and wisecracks?

Sorry HT. Just a joke guv etc. No nastiness intended. Its just that I'm afraid I find it very difficult to open my mind to much of what astrology has to offer, but I get you're invested in it.

EDIT: actually, I'll add to that. Its not a question for me of disbelieving the invisible hand (not of an all-knowing god, but nature) and its effect on our future, but its our naive reading of it that causes me to disbelieve. Just like religion, its humankind's frail and simplistic interpretation of these things that makes me an infidel.

[Omerta]

sheer volume of scared, laconic refusal to take anything seriously that you don't already think you know all about.

Maybe, like science (scared of religion?) we find more value in offering greater credence to what is observable. That is to say, most people probably believe we're part way the product of our upbringing, of our past and future experiences and are persuaded more by a conditioned response than by stars that we can see exist. Do stars in other galaxies affect who we become?

[tater pie]

Also, this is pretty much a comedy forum.  It's a nice escape out of the seriousness of the real world.  Take SPC, real world: grave and serious, sensitive even.  Online world: goatse and your mum jokes.

^{Some aspects of SPC's personality have been changed to protect the innocent}

[chand]

I have to say I don't really understand how the time you were born matters - surely if you believe in this stuff the time of conception is more important?  I mean, that's when you were being made.

Problems like that would only matter if there were any kind of actual basis for astrology.

[rudi]

Thank-you for finding the limit of my patience. Wasn't that fun?

Are you seriously telling me ziggy's post wasn't golden? I wish I could be that funny.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

This 'you need to read the books' is a typical response.

Surely if you were that up on it yourself, you'd not have to constantly refer people to texts within which all your opinions on the subject are derived.

I read a magazine in the pub yesterday that had astrology under the headline 'Nonsense'. Underneath was a very po-faced and serious look at the horoscopes for the week ahead. So it's reached that very post-modern level where people admit it's bollocks yet still employ these ludicrous fraudsters to fart out worthless garbage and lies.

I find it very amusing that women's magazines without fail will have horoscopes inside- even newspapers like The Observer have them hidden away in the glossies (the ones women read) like some guilty old scrap of fanny ripped out of a porn mag in a newsagents. Try and find a horoscope in a mag aimed at men.

[Danger Man]

As I said, read about it your fucking selves if you really want to learn rather than just scoff.

Tell me about it. Whenever I mention (ahem) a very large economic system based upon a pyramid model they get all snotty like the bunch of 6th formers they so obviously are and start moaning about how they want council housing reintroduced. How they manage to type when they skulk around all day with their hands in their pockets is beyond me.

On the other hand, when some of them feel they have to ask permission from their ex-girlfriends to start dating again you have to let them have their online 'cool and cynical' persona that is so clearly lacking in their real lives. My 'cool and cynical' persona exists in both the real and cyber worlds which is why you'd never find me asking my wife if I could have permission to have a girlfriend. My wife's on the cusp of Sagittarius and Capricorn by the way, which does make astrology look a bit odd as, between those two astrological types, she has the personality of everything and anything.

Wasn't there some research a few years ago that vaguely boosted the case for people's occupations having some link with the month they were born in? Something along the lines of 'soldiers have a slightly better than random chance of being born in October whilst there seem to be more bankers born in April'.

Anyone?

[ziggy starbucks]

you have to let them have their online 'cool and cynical' persona that is so clearly lacking in their real lives.

I'm cool in real life, I have a waistcoat. And I wear my cool waistcoat for purely cynical purposes - sex with lady members of The Official Waistcoat Fanclub of Luton & Bedfordshire.

[Emma Raducanu]

Wasn't there some research a few years ago that vaguely boosted the case for people's occupations having some link with the month they were born in? Something along the lines of 'soldiers have a slightly better than random chance of being born in October whilst there seem to be more bankers born in April'.

Anyone?

Yeh and footballers born between January and March. It all relates to the academic year beginning in September. The youngest in the class fail to match their superior and more physically developed friends and so take out their anger with guns later on in life. Those born after April are too sensible for sport and look to make money out of their less intellectually developed friends who like kicking a ball round. Not to do with the stars or Uranus.

[Danger Man]

I'm cool in real life, I have a waistcoat.

I've seen your waistcoat and it's shit. Nothing beats my waistcoat.

[the midnight watch baboon]

I wear my cool waistcoat for purely cynical purposes - sex with lady members of The Official Waistcoat Fanclub of Luton & Bedfordshire.

that sounds owfol! 


&b

[chand]

On the other hand, when some of them feel they have to ask permission from their ex-girlfriends to start dating again

I think you may have misread some of the posts in this thread, presumably because your cool life is distracting you.

[Danger Man]

I think you may have misread some of the posts in this thread, presumably because your cool life is distracting you.

Who said I was talking about you???

Self, self, self....

Anyway, I went looking for a waistcoat for HappyTree (who tell us he's a Virgo) but this is all Google had....

[Zero Gravitas]

Wasn't there some research a few years ago that vaguely boosted the case for people's occupations having some link with the month they were born in? Something along the lines of 'soldiers have a slightly better than random chance of being born in October whilst there seem to be more bankers born in April'.

Anyone?

There is indeed much research on this, mostly the root cause is pinned on how the age groups are split by academic intake creating a situation where individuals that are almost 200 days separated in age (a large difference in rapidly maturing kids) are compared unfairly on the basis of current performance.

I was in a 'streamed' school and there was a very strong correlation between the ability set you were placed into and the side of intake you were born on.

EDIT: When you were born does have an influence but the causes are decidedly more telluric in origin, the same argument that has been made previously in 'woo' threads, as much as data may correlate the wrong conclusions are arrived at.

[Little Hoover]

Who said I was talking about you???

Self, self, self....

Anyway, I went looking for a waistcoat for HappyTree (who tell us he's a Virgo) but this is all Google had....

But he's a pisces, he has the same birthday as me.

[rudi]

More importantly, he's a Tory.

[23 Daves]

Where astrology is concerned, what happened to that 'thirteenth sun sign' which was written about in the early nineties, then seemingly promptly forgotten about less than two years later?  Was that a mistake, an attempt to rectify a long-standing mistake, or something else entirely?  It got a lot of press at the time... and I seem to remember it also involved some people having to change their sun signs.  According to this system, I'd be a Leo not a Virgo (if I remember rightly).

You might guess that I'm a full blown astrology-sceptic, despite having my full chart and reading done by a friend of mine who would live her life by this stuff. 

[The Duck Man]

Yeh and footballers born between January and March. It all relates to the academic year beginning in September.

And so the footballers are largely born between September and March, not January and March. I posted about this in the football thread after reading Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers. 23/29 of Watford's squad as it was then were born during that period.

Those born after April are too sensible for sport and look to make money out of their less intellectually developed friends who like kicking a ball round. Not to do with the stars or Uranus.

I'd be intrigued if that were true, though. You'd have thought that kids aren't really analysing their worth based on their sporting ability in primary school.

[Braintree]

There is indeed much research on this, mostly the root cause is pinned on how the age groups are split by academic intake creating a situation where individuals that are almost 200 days separated in age (a large difference in rapidly maturing kids) are compared unfairly on the basis of current performance.

I was in a 'streamed' school and there was a very strong correlation between the ability set you were placed into and the side of intake you were born on.

EDIT: When you were born does have an influence but the causes are decidedly more telluric in origin, the same argument that has been made previously in 'woo' threads, as much as data may correlate the wrong conclusions are arrived at.

You forget how big the September-August gap is. Being 11 months younger, especially in the early years must have an effect on development when comparing two children.

I remember being appalled and fascinated by a woman on a forum who had a baby in September, fell pregnant again in November and had another baby July so both the children would be in the same school year.

Top baggy vagina sexing skills, but still

[The Boston Crab]

I mean, I can imagine it...but it's...just weird. I'm not sure why, it just is.

[rudi]

You want weird ages? My girlfriend had to get the class she was teaching to all hand back the scans of one girl's wee personal foetus she'd been handing around (rather than, y'know, learning) so they could get on with the lesson. Year 9 there. Mmm...

[HappyTree]

Looking for a picture of Brian May's cool "spider" waistcoat, I was shocked to learn that he had an affair with his secretary whilst going out with Anita Dobson. I still have high hopes of marrying him in the near future.