Baywatch!

[Sonny_Jim]

My new telly came with this weird 'free to air' thing that's actually just 'the internet' and it's full of weird channels, one of which is just remastered episodes of Baywatch back-to-back.  After having it on in the background for a while I have Some Thoughts:

I'd forgotten just how many montages are in it.  Usual format is title sequence, tiny bit of plot setup then a 3 minute montage of one of the lifeguards riding about on a jetski or something.  Then later on when the person they rescued in act 1 ends up shagging the lifeguard who saved them they'll be another montage.  Coming back from the advert break?  Montage.  Oh look, a cameo from a country and western star!  Montage montage montage.

Would it have been made now?  No, because free porn on the internet exists.  There is no reason to watch this unless you are a horny teen trying to catch an eyeful of glistening wobbly bits.  It really is the most formulaic drama sprinkled with hunks and hotties in revealing clothing.  The acting is terrible, the action scenes consist of shaky cam and close ups of the front of a boat.  It's a world full of glee where everyone looks like a model and nothing really bad happens, it's a show where everything is ♫ easy on the eye ♫

They even did a fairly meta-episode where a producer gets an idea to make a new show after watching a lifeguard doing a rescue:

_{Why the fuck am I making a thread about this?  Fond memories of youthful wanking?}

[Famous Mortimer]

There are two excellent things associated with Baywatch. First up is "Baywatch Nights", specifically the second season where it pivoted after the success of "The X-Files" and became a supernatural show. Then there's this book:



I remember it being hilarious when I first owned it, but I presume there's bits of that have aged badly.

[Sonny_Jim]

I watched an episode where one of the cast was having sexy ghost dreams that was very amusing.  But it's always just very familiar tropes, runaway from home found on beach, some arsehead bangs on about how he doesn't need saving and it turns out he does etc etc.

I've just realised the secret of montages, they are very cheap and fill time (even more so with slow mo).  Also allows you to cram in more slo-mo bouncing cleavage.

[non capisco]

There are two excellent things associated with Baywatch. First up is "Baywatch Nights", specifically the second season where it pivoted after the success of "The X-Files" and became a supernatural show.

Love that this sort of thing from the Wikipedia episode synopses for Baywatch Nights were (as far as I know) never mentioned on "normal Baywatch". Mitch Buchannon must have thought them unworthy of conversation.

Mitch, Griff and Ryan investigate a series of murders committed by a half-human, half-fish woman intent on having a baby.

Mitch and Ryan head to an oil rig where they encounter a gelatinous sea monster.

Two 900-year-old Vikings awaken from their frozen slumber and resume their feud in Los Angeles.

So the Hoff was dealing with that shite at night then rocking up to his lifeguard hut in the morning fresh as a daisy, was he? Righty-o. Stretching himself too thin, I'd say. Might try phoning work tomorrow begging off because was up all last night calming down some 900 year old Vikings.

[Snrub]

I never watched it, but the one thing that always comes to mind when I think about Baywatch is the fact that it was apparently the most watched show in tv in the world across all countries during a lot of it's run. Have no clue how they measured that or if it was true but I always thought that was such a bonkers fact.

[Queen Peach]

lovely big titters

[Senior Baiano]

As so often, Queen Peach speaks for me on this subject*

*_{I am not aware of any of this users posting history}

Anyway, a fun game you can play is to sing Blur anthem 'Parklife', but substituting the bellowed title refrain with BAYWATCH!

Thus:

I get up when I want, except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awakened by the dustman - BAYWATCH!
I put my trousers on, have a cup of tea, and I think about leaving the house - BAYWATCH!

& c.

[George White]

Anyone ever watched Allison Pregler/Obscurus Lupa's reviews of Baywatch? She gets to the point that it's the craziest show ever made (and one of course mainly financed by Thames money).

[Dex Sawash]

lovely big titters

As my old grandad used to say, you ain't seen a tit until you've seen the nipple.

[Proactive]

It's got its knockers but I always enjoyed it.

[Famous Mortimer]

[Des Wigwam]

Freevee seems to be Amazon's way of not giving everything away with Prime for free and dragging in some advertising revenue - they show some of their new shows like Bosch on there and I can't see any other reason for it. The Great British Menu live channel has been a terrible timesink for me.

Anyone ever watched Allison Pregler/Obscurus Lupa's reviews of Baywatch? She gets to the point that it's the craziest show ever made (and one of course mainly financed by Thames money).

Thanks for the recommendation - I've been watching a fair few of these. @Sonny_Jim has summed up my take on it pretty much. Oddly this is not something I watched much of in the 90s but it's become a minor obsession over the last few months (when I remember it exists).

Did anyone - apart from Pam Anderson - become really successful in an acting-sense? It seems more like a Bill situation where people are really well known for it but not anything else. And unlike The Bill you never see any extras in an "omg ... isn't that?..." way. Seems mad for something that was as popular as @Snrub says.

[George White]

Jason Momoa was in it in its later Hawaii based years.

[Catalogue Trousers]

BIG PLASTIC LIFEGUARD TITTIES