When did you become middle aged?

[SockPuppet]

Quite a few 'old' posters on this forum.

So, when did it happen?

Me? When I heard Skrillex for the first time and screamed 'Why is this streaky piece of piss making this sub-Aphex Twin shite???!!!'


No young people on this thread, please. This is for middle aged people, which is anything from 30 to 56 depending on who you listen to.


 

[Consignia]

A colleague claimed he was middle aged the other day, at 31. I think it's because he's got a kid, and is treating it as middle aged, but I find it hard to think of anyone less than 38 as middle aged.

[BlodwynPig]

You'll only ever know once you are dead. Then divide your death age by 2. I am past middle age.

[Vodka Margarine]

When I found I had difficulty squeezing into Topman 36" jeans, despite being a 32" waist.

When somebody three years younger than me (27) looked visibly shocked when I said I'd heard of Labyrinth (the shit dancey music, not the film).

When I called Labyrinth "shit dancey music", just there.

[Ginyard]

When everything but my cock felt stiff in the morning.

[massive bereavement]

In terms of music, I was 15, that was when I started borrowing my friend's dad's albums and realised that I didn't want to listen to anything contemporary anymore, stopped watching Top of the Pops and gave up trying to wear fashionable clothes. In terms of not going out anymore and preferring to stay in and watch "Newsnight".... about a year later.

[Cerys]

Labyrinth

In the context in question, it's spelled 'Labrinth'.  This proves that I am still young.  YOUNG.  YOUNG!

[Big Jack McBastard]

One of my primary school teachers once said (to my mother): "I can imagine Jack getting home from school, grabbing his slippers, lighting a pipe and sitting in front of the fire watching the news." I was about 10 at the time.

I've felt[nb]mentally that is mind, the 'physically' is just catching up now[/nb] middle aged since I was about 20, I was already a sniping curmudgeonly sod who hated the music my peers liked, couldn't bare nightclubs for more than about 10 minutes and would've classified a decent evening to consist of a bottle of wine+film+kip.

Now I've got aches that last for months and pull enough hair out of my nose per year to make high tog duvets for your average family of rats.

[Small Man Big Horse]

I don't believe I am yet, despite being 38 and the fact that I probably should be. Most of the friends I grew up with have launched in to middle age with delight, and it's increasingly difficult to get most of them out of their homes. Luckily a few hate their children and long for times past, and I've a mix of much younger friends, so I haven't gone mad and killed anyone.

I guess there's definite signs of middle age circling me, every time I get out a chair I make a big "Oooof" sound (though to be fair I probably first did that around 22), and clubbing takes place only about once a year (though unless it's an alt.rock/indie club I've never really been much of a fan), but other than that I'm still fighting against that inevitable time where I'll prefer to stay in with a glass of wine rather than head out in to the cold London nights to find something fun to do.

[SockPuppet]

I don't believe I am yet...and I've a mix of much younger friends

So....you're slightly creepy???

[Clatty McCutcheon]

I think I truly became middle-aged (at the age of 28) when I enjoyed a Saturday night out at a gig for which my grandmother won tickets on a radio competition, but gave them away to me.

Spoiler alert

It was Skrillex.

[close]

[checkoutgirl]

At 33, I still don't consider myself middle aged. Middle age is 45 - 55 years old. Taking age out of the equation I would say you are displaying signs of middle age by doing any two of the following things, getting married, fathering/bearing a child or expressing a desire to do so, looking out of place in a night club, getting a mortgage, beginning to think the Tories are talking some sense, buying a Lexus/Mercedes, thinking someone who is 35 is a kid, completely forgetting what it was like to be a kid, talking about property prices and being riveted by the conversation, having a comb-over, wearing comfy slacks and Pringle jumpers, pitying clubbers rather than envying them, looking forward to retirement, going home at 10 o'clock at a wedding, never ever ever drinking shots on a night out.

[Small Man Big Horse]

So....you're slightly creepy???

Oh yes, but I manage to hide it from them surprisingly well.[nb]Awaits DJ One Record to tell me that this isn't the case at all. :)[/nb]

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I maintain my vitality by doing tireless fun runs and charity work and by fucking children and corpses.

Oh no wait I don't do that. I am fust.

[El Unicornio, mang]

So....you're slightly creepy???

Jelly?

I'd say 40-60 for middle age, but fuck it, it's just a label. Act how you like!

[Sony Walkman Prophecies]

At 33, I still don't consider myself middle aged. Middle age is 45 - 55 years old. Taking age out of the equation I would say you are displaying signs of middle age by doing any two of the following things, getting married, fathering/bearing a child or expressing a desire to do so, looking out of place in a night club, getting a mortgage, beginning to think the Tories are talking some sense, buying a Lexus/Mercedes, thinking someone who is 35 is a kid, completely forgetting what it was like to be a kid, talking about property prices and being riveted by the conversation, having a comb-over, wearing comfy slacks and Pringle jumpers, pitying clubbers rather than envying them, looking forward to retirement, going home at 10 o'clock at a wedding, never ever ever drinking shots on a night out.

I think middle age just denotes a newly-found level or responsibility doesnt it? If you don't have a wife and mortgage, and spend the majority of your free time on internet forums, it's probably fair to say you're experiencing something very different from the stresses and grumbles that go with being 45. Then again, your innate character probably has something to do with it too. As Will Self said once, people who talk about house-prices at parties are probably the kind of people who never really enjoyed talking about art/music/film in the first place. Not even in their early 20s.

I think when you get to a certain age it becomes very difficult to feign interest in things you were never really bothered with. If you ever catch someone in the mid 40s enthusing about a new artist on planet mu or some book they've just read, at the very least, you can be absolutely certain that they mean it.

[sirhenry]

At 33, I still don't consider myself middle aged. Middle age is 45 - 55 years old. Taking age out of the equation I would say you are displaying signs of middle age by doing any two of the following things, getting married,

Not going to happen.

fathering/bearing a child or expressing a desire to do so,

21 years ago

looking out of place in a night club,

since the very first time (18)

getting a mortgage,

never going to happen

beginning to think the Tories are talking some sense,

never going to happen

buying a Lexus/Mercedes,

never going to happen

thinking someone who is 35 is a kid,

?

completely forgetting what it was like to be a kid,

Yeah, that'll happen

talking about property prices and being riveted by the conversation,

yawn

having a comb-over,

I'm still waiting to go bald

wearing comfy slacks and Pringle jumpers,

closest I've got are combat trousers and a sweater

pitying clubbers rather than envying them,

since before clubbing became a 'thing'

looking forward to retirement,

I'm just looking forward to going back to bed

going home at 10 o'clock at a wedding,

who goes to weddings?

never ever ever drinking shots on a night out.

when I first tried to stop being an alcoholic at 23.

I decided that when my waist suddenly changed from 28" to 30" it was probably middle age. Then again I was 50 when it happened.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Not believing in Santa anymore

[Replies From View]

My Dad said something years ago that seems nearly right:  that "middle age" is always ten years older than you are.  I'm 32 now and yep; to me 42 seems where middle age would start (lol it is what Douglas Adams would have wanted!!!!!!).

It only doesn't make sense only because he's in his late 60s and middle age can't be late 70s; otherwise it seems about right to me.  He still feels like he's in his forties and that middle age is in his future.  Does anybody here disagree with my Dad[nb]He'll cave your fucking skull in, you fat fuck.[/nb] and identify with middle age as a "now" thing rather than a "future" thing?

[shiftwork2]

I began describing myself as middle-aged earlier this year, after my 40th birthday.  All of a sudden I noticed that most people were younger than me - you'd have to be in denial not to accept that as middle age.  Oddly enough it's not all bad.  I spent a happy couple of hours planting my winter veg on Saturday.  Take that you young whippersnappers!

[Replies From View]

I spent a happy couple of hours planting my winter veg on Saturday.  Take that you young whippersnappers!

Take that you winter veg!

[shiftwork2]

That was addressed to the young members of the board RFV.  You're 32 sunshine.

[sirhenry]

Not being Santa anymore.

[Replies From View]

That was addressed to the young members of the board RFV.  You're 32 sunshine.

Nonsense; I have achieved nothing in ten years, so therefore I haven't aged.

[Gulftastic]

When young peoples' haircuts started annoying the hell out of me, I knew I'd hit middle age. That, and the wearing of trousers with the crotch around the knees. If the next generation can't even figure out how trousers work, we're fucked.

So, I'd say about 35. I think I realised how quickly my 30's were disappearing, compared to how long I seemed to be in my 20's.

[Ginyard]

My Dad said something years ago that seems nearly right:  that "middle age" is always ten years older than you are.  I'm 32 now and yep; to me 42 seems where middle age would start (lol it is what Douglas Adams would have wanted!!!!!!).

It only doesn't make sense only because he's in his late 60s and middle age can't be late 70s; otherwise it seems about right to me.  He still feels like he's in his forties and that middle age is in his future.  Does anybody here disagree with my Dad[nb]He'll cave your fucking skull in, you fat fuck.[/nb] and identify with middle age as a "now" thing rather than a "future" thing?

No, it sounds about right. But its obviously more a state of mind than anything. I don't feel middle-aged and I certainly don't act it. The only reason I kind of know I probably am is that when I meet up with mates, they're all looking older with thinner skin on their hands, stress lines and greying temples; things that no amount of funky rag wearing and 5-a-side is going to fix. And I know they're looking back at me thinking the same thing. We like to pretend nothing's change, but you only have to glance over to the pub car park and see the Octavias and Passat estates to know that it has. Less and less like Peep Show, more and more like an episode of Butterflies.

Then there's family parties, where you were once the teenager, of lesser importance except to your other cousins who were with you skinning up in the garden while your uncles and aunts fawned over photo albums of now dead relatives. Then before you know it, you find yourself glancing down at a page of photos and realize you're not in the garden anymore. Another not so large jump in time and you're sat on the sofa waiting for the photos because your knees can't take standing for so long. A decade or two later you're the family mascot, still sat on the sofa because you can't get off of it, given a tumbler and a few cuddles, before everyone fucks off because they know you're too mutton to hear a bloody thing they're saying. Then you die.

Happy October, citizens.

[Replies From View]

When young peoples' haircuts started annoying the hell out of me, I knew I'd hit middle age. That, and the wearing of trousers with the crotch around the knees. If the next generation can't even figure out how trousers work, we're fucked.

These things annoyed me when I was 14!

[Replies From View]

Then there's family parties, where you were once the teenager, of lesser importance except to your other cousins who were with you skinning up in the garden while your uncles and aunts fawned over photo albums of now dead relatives.

As you are describing a cycle, it's worth pointing out at this moment that the uncles and aunts are definitely saying "Who's the old geezer stuck on the sofa at the back?"  and "Don't know.  One of the extended cousins I suspect."  They seem quite disgusted by him; concerned that they might contain some of his genetic material even in a very removed way.  "Probably a friend.  A friend of... an extended cousin."

And at this point, they burn all the photos containing the old geezer stuck on the sofa at the back.  "No need to keep these.  Can't keep all photos ever taken; they take up much needed space."

Then before you know it, you find yourself glancing down at a page of photos and realize you're not in the garden anymore. Another not so large jump in time and you're sat on the sofa waiting for the photos because your knees can't take standing for so long. A decade or two later you're the family mascot, still sat on the sofa because you can't get off of it, given a tumbler and a few cuddles, before everyone fucks off because they know you're too mutton to hear a bloody thing they're saying. Then you die.

Happy October, citizens.

Oh fuck, it's October already.  Well, because I wasted my summer it is still summer; that's the way it works.

[Cerys]

Allegedly I turn forty this Thursday.  I'm planning to combine it with my inner state of twelve-years-old to produce a bizarre chimera who confuses passers-by.

[The Βoston Crab]

Whatever changes I've gone through, I'm still 31 years cool.