Invent your own TV shows from the past

[kidsick5000]

Highway Late - Granada - 1998

Join Harry Secombe as he tours nightclubs across the country in this late night, youth focused follow up to the popular religious show. In tonight's episode Harry visits Crystals in Hull where he meets Julie as she prepares to enter a wet t-shirt contest and sings a haunting rendition of Josh Wink's Higher State of Consciousness.

Brilliant

[Glebe]

Brush Those Teeth!

Keith Lemon invited you to hurry up and brush those teeth at 11PM on Tuesday nights on Five in 2011.

[Glebe]

Show a Bit of Gumption!

From 1981-83 on ITV, Jim Bowen encouraged contestants to keep a stiff upper lip and give it a bit of welly, yet beware; for tonight's star prize is a trip for two to Holmfirth.

[DangledTeeth]

Exhaustion Punnet - Sky Arts, 2016

In a one-off live 'Help the Johnny Quest Fan Club Get to Perrazanbuloe' charity special - for the delectation of a squirming yet thrilled audience at the Hammersmith Apollo - Noel Edmonds does the Napoleon Dynamite dance accompanied by Vulfpeck's entire discography.

[Mr Banlon]

Hip Hop Hooray Elderly cockneys who have just recovered from hip replacement surgery relive their childhoods by hop picking in Kent.
Clifton's Suspension Bridge Bernie Clifton has to convince people that he's done things that defy the laws of physics.

[JoeyBananaduck]

Fuck Him, And Fuck You Too!

Loutish late-night post-pub Chuckle Brothers shenanigans (1998).

[spamwangler]

Cheap Cheap Cheap!

'The game show format that thinks it's a sitcom!

Cheap Cheap Cheap is an inspired collision of comedy and game show. The action takes place in a fictional general store and centres around a game show, hosted by the store owner (played by Noel Edmonds in the UK) who invites pairs of contestants to win an increasing amount of money by correctly picking the cheapest of three similar items. It couldn't be simpler! It could be three different styles of hat, three different brands of coffee maker, or three contrasting pizzas. If they fail to guess the cheapest item they'll be eliminated from the game, lose all their money and the next eager contestants step up to the challenge. Throughout the game, the shop's eccentric staff offer the contestants advice, encouragement – and distraction. A truly original show!'

[Glebe]

Butter Me Noggin!

Join Noel Edmonds as he challenges contestants to butter various noggins, with scant regard for health and safety regs, in 1988.

[Glebe]

Dealer's Voice.

Join Noel Edmonds as contestants try to figure out who the mysterious 'Dealer' is on the other end of the phone line. Whoever guesses that there is no Dealer and that Noel is having a pretend conversation wins 20 quid.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Waite Up! - LWT - 1992

Ill-advised late-night chat show hosted by former hostage and humanitarian Terry Waite. In tonight's edition Terry is joined by footballer Lee Sharpe, EastEnders star Ian Reddington and chart-toppers Wet Wet Wet.

[jobotic]

Waite Up! - LWT - 1992

Ill-advised late-night chat show hosted by former hostage and humanitarian Terry Waite. In tonight's edition Terry is joined by footballer Lee Sharpe, EastEnders star Ian Reddington and chart-toppers Wet Wet Wet.

"Joining me next week in front of the radiator will be..."

[Glebe]

Shovel Some Apricots Dave's Way!

Edmonds has the shovels, Lee Travis is waiting in the 'Feed Pit'... come on you lot, get yer arms pumping! In 1982.

[Glebe]

It'll Be a Real Humdinger of a Fuck-Up on the Night!

Why don't you join Jimmy Greaves, as he scours the archives for bloopers, smeg-ups and fucked clips? There's laughter all the way, and more than a smattering of laughter! Plus laughter. In 2002.

[Glebe]

Roast 'Em, Toast 'Em!

"Mr. Behind-the-Scenes guy, will you start the flamethrowers, please!" Heh, he certainly will host Richard O' Brien on Channel 4 in 1999... get moving contestants, before you're grilled alive on this notorious and legally-dubious classic!

[Glebe]

Ain't That Sand!

Won't you join Bernard Cribbins on ITV in the '80s, to ponder the possibility that it may be sand? See you there! In the '80s.

[Glebe]

Shiver Me Jimbers!

Jim Bowen (dressed as a pirate) was your host for this fun 1996 quiz show on Sky.

[Glebe]

Fromage with Farage!

Join Nigel Farage as he tries various cheeses and gives his opinion on 'em, on Five in 2011.

"Emmental, that's nice... Jarlsburg, not into that..."

[Glebe]

Edmonds Gets Unctuous!

It's 2003, and with Deal or No Deal just a couple of years away, Noel Edmonds sneaks out this little gem, exclusive to S4C viewers. It was a bitter affair, with impossibly hard questions ("What is the square root of 1,235,062?"), miserable contestants and an unenthusiastic audience. Even Edmonds seemed listless.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Date the Germans - Five - 2015

Pedestrian dating series hosted by Emma Willis. Six British singletons are paired with Germans in this superficially interesting social experiment. In tonight's show Emma tries and fails to create tensions as Gerda and Dave travel to Auschwitz.

[Glebe]

Shat Yer Cakehole!

Five in the early '00s, and late non-PC comedian and EastEnders' Frank Butcher, Mike Reid, is your host of the quiz show where contestants can't win because he interrupts them when they try to answer the questions, always with a cry of "Shat yer cakehole!" On one occasion he went too far, however, and cried, "Shat yer facking facking facking cakehole, you facking prick! Oi'll facking break y'legs!"

[Ferris]

Deal or no Deal

Join aging lothario Brian Conley Noel Edmonds as some people open boxes to win big cash prizes!

Actually, that ones a bit half-baked. Sorry.

[Ferris]

Not in this life!

Recently deceased members of the public are wheeled in and contestants must guess - who had the most justice in their lifetime?

MPs, hairdressers, homeless; they're all to play for!

[Ferris]

Crack-a-toe-argh!
2002-2004, Endemol Productions

Mel and Sue interview people with minor injuries in A&E... but one of them is acting! Contestants direct fun character Mr Stompy (played by TV funnyman Alexei Sayle) to kick people in their supposed injuries to see who really has that hairline fracture!

Cancelled after 2 series and much litigation in small-claims court.

[Glebe]

Ain't That Scorin'!

MIchael Barrymore is your host for this 1993 ITV flop.

[Glebe]

Triple Slam-Dunk with Phillip Scofield!

Join Phillip on a basketball court in Los Angles for some entertaining basketball fun! In 2008. On Five.

[Glebe]

Now That's Glans!

Join Henry Kelly, afternoons on BBC1 in the early '90s, for the quiz with a difference!

[Huxleys Babkins]

Not In My Cab You Ain't! - Channel 4 - 1989

Tony Wilson hosts the cult game show where unsuspecting members of the public perform challenges against the meter in the back of a taxi being driven by a celebrity. In tonight's episode Rula Lenska tours Lambeth whilst the contestants attempt to blow decorative glass swans.

[JoeyBananaduck]

Gobble Me Off And I'll Make You A Star

Melvyn Bragg narrates this frank and to the point history of showbusiness management.

[Spoon of Ploff]

Shades of the Past BBC1 1964-1965

A young(ish) Tony Hart presents a show that compares the cross hatching techniques of famous scribblers throughout the ages.

It wasn't very good.

[Norton Canes]

6:30 - Folding Court

In this spin-off from The Clothes Show, Carolyn Franklin and Tim Vincent explain how to best to fold, hang and stack your clothes to ensure that they're in tip-top condition when you want to wear them