"F**k my Hat, I didn't know that!" Amazing things you've only just found out

[Sherman Krank]

I remember a cousin telling me a joke during a phone conversation with a punchline about 'getting your hole.' We love sophisticated humour in our family. But at the time I genuinely didn't have a clue what he was on about. I pretended to laugh though. It's easy to do that on the phone.

'Gettin' yer hole' has been a commonly used euphemism in the greater Glasgow area for literally yonks (I think the Irish brought it with them in the 1800's).

And a few years ago I ended up watching a Kevin Bridges live set DVD round at a very pissed (English) mate's house during which Bridges gave a slang term for a party...

'Empty'?
An empty is a term used by teenagers to denote that their parents have gone (or will be going) on holiday without them and as such their house will effectively be empty of responsible adults.
As in: 'Everyone roon tae mine this weekend ah've goat an empty'.

[Sebastian Cobb]

We used to call that a 'free yard' back in my day.

Similar to 'getting your hole' one of the lads at work was telling an anecdote about how he went round his mates and one of the (slightly sleazy) bigwigs was nonchalantly sitting in the sofa as it turns out their mates housemate was his son. Anyhow apparently he started asking the lad at work if him and the woman he was visiting were an item. Anyhow our colleague proffered 'I bet he was choking to rattle her'.

[Jockice]

'Gettin' yer hole' has been a commonly used euphemism in the greater Glasgow area for literally yonks (I think the Irish brought it with them in the 1800's).
'Empty'?
An empty is a term used by teenagers to denote that their parents have gone (or will be going) on holiday without them and as such their house will effectively be empty of responsible adults.
As in: 'Everyone roon tae mine this weekend ah've goat an empty'.

Possibly. But I was seven when I left Scotland and there wasn't much talk about getting my hole at that point. I'd make regular visits up there but had still never heard it up to that point (sometime in the 90s). I sort of guessed what it was though....

As for the party expression that sounds possible but I'm not sure. Again I don't think I'd heard it up to that point.

It works both ways though. My cousin liked the first Arctic Monkeys album but didn't know what Mardy Bum meant. I explained to him it was similar to Crabbit Arse. Which would be a far better title.

[Cold Meat Platter]

Possibly. But I was seven when I left Scotland and there wasn't much talk about getting my hole at that point. I'd make regular visits up there but had still never heard it up to that point (sometime in the 90s). I sort of guessed what it was though....

There's even a rhyming slang for it. Getting your Nat King Cole. So it's definitely not new.

[Ambient Sheep]

Doesnt messages mean sandwiches somewhere?

I could be wrong but I don't think so.  You may be thinking of this old post of mine where I explained on consecutive lines that some/many Irish people go round...

Calling grocery shopping "messages".

Calling sandwiches "pieces".

("I'll just pop out and get the messages and then I'll make up some pieces.")

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

It comes from TV, doesn't it?

'we'll be right back after these messages'

*picture of some cheese*

[Jockice]

When I was a kid in Scotland sandwiches in general were known as pieces. And a jam sandwich was known as a piece and jam. I don't like jam so I'd have a cheese sandwich. Which was always referred to as a cheese sandwich and not a piece and cheese. Possibly some sort of family quirk there. I still don't think the phrase 'a piece and...' should be followed by any word except 'jam.'

[madhair60]

What about "a piece and quiet"?

[buttgammon]

I've never heard 'pieces'. In Dublin at least, it's 'sambo' - probably the only archaic racist term that also means a finger food.

[MiddleRabbit]

Round our way, your 'piece' is your arse.  'Sit your piece down'.  Hence someone who is a 'piece' is an arse.

Hold your peace might be interpreted in a slightly different way...

[Dex Sawash]

I could be wrong but I don't think so.  You may be thinking of this old post of mine where I explained on consecutive lines that some/many Irish people go round...

That's it

[Endicott]

Round our way, your 'piece' is a Glock 9.

[Cuellar]

I could be wrong but I don't think so.  You may be thinking of this old post of mine where I explained on consecutive lines that some/many Irish people go round...

Funnily enough, in Dutch the verb 'boodschappen doen' means 'to do the shopping' with 'boodschapen' also meaning 'shopping' (noun), but a 'boodschap' is a message.

[zomgmouse]

In Australia a sandwich is a sanga

[MiddleRabbit]

Round our way, your 'piece' is a Glock 9.

Shitting can't be any fun with that 9mm barrel.

[Uncle TechTip]

It comes from TV, doesn't it?

'we'll be right back after these messages'

*picture of some cheese*

I'd post in that other thread but this is easier. Clink.

[Clownbaby]

Vinegar is made using a gelatinous disc of cellulose and acetic acid bacteria called a "mother"

I don't know why I find "mothers" so funny. Vinegar mothers.

[QDRPHNC]

Vinegar is made using a gelatinous disc of cellulose and acetic acid bacteria called a "mother"

I don't know why I find "mothers" so funny. Vinegar mothers.

Ooh I was just wondering how vinegar is made!

[daf]

Is that how it's done? I thought they just bought up job lots of cheap wine* and let nature take it's course!

vinegar (n.)
early 14c., from Old French vinaigre "vinegar," from vin "wine" (from Latin vinum; see wine (n.)) + aigre "sour" (see eager).

- - - -
* I might have dreamed this, but I think they used to not bother getting out of the big vats when they were pressing the grapes with their feet, and just have a piss there and then - blork!

[kalowski]

The isochronous curve
https://youtu.be/eBc827pwKf0

Fucking amazing!

[Pseudopath]

Vinegar is made using a gelatinous disc of cellulose and acetic acid bacteria called a "mother"

I don't know why I find "mothers" so funny. Vinegar mothers.

I only found that out by watching that Nadiya Hussain cookery show a couple of weeks ago (the vinegar bit starts at 09:20 here). I still can't believe I've existed on this planet for 40 years without knowing how vinegar was actually made (with the answer being something out of HR Giger's nightmares).

[kalowski]

Vinegar mothers make better lovers.

[Hecate]

Calling grocery shopping "messages".

Calling sandwiches "pieces".

I call groceries "Disgustipateries, Olives, agkagagagaga"

Normally I'll just eat raw spinach straight from the can, or filtered through a smoking utensil, but if I was to make a sandwich I'd probably just make three stacked flat layers of spinach and eat that.

When I'm making a sandwich for friends, I'll often just put my fist between two slices of bread and say "Your lookins a bit peckish there, lemme fix you a knuckle sannich, aguguguh.", zero nutritional value, to be honest, but the bread and lettuce softens the blow, I've been told it's far preferable to when my fists go all big and hammer shaped and I start knocking you on the bonce with those.

Don't really see much of my friends nowadays.

[JesusAndYourBush]

The isochronous curve
https://youtu.be/eBc827pwKf0

Fucking amazing!

He could have knocked 2 minutes off the video if he'd used spirograph.

[Clownbaby]

I only found that out by watching that Nadiya Hussain cookery show a couple of weeks ago (the vinegar bit starts at 09:20 here). I still can't believe I've existed on this planet for 40 years without knowing how vinegar was actually made (with the answer being something out of HR Giger's nightmares).

That's how I found out about it as well, haha

[a duncandisorderly]

....the answer being something out of HR Giger's nightmares.

rather unsurprisingly perhaps, old HR had terrible night-terrors. his whole life-story is pretty awful, really- surprised there isn't a bio-mass pic of him.

https://www.littlegiger.com/articles/files/BizarreMag_196.pdf

[Psmith]

There's different ways of lacing up your shoes.

[manticore]

Only just learned that Danny Dyer and Harold Pinter were close friends, which isn't really amazing since they were two east end boys and neither from posh backgrounds, but newspapers seem to think it is. I would like to have listened in to their conversations.

[H-O-W-L]

Every date in fresh food in shops is manually checked.

[Colin Sanction]

It's hang gliding not hand gliding.