What If Your Consciousness Was Time-Travelled Back Three Years Into The Brain

[Dr Rock]

... of anyone who has been a guest on RHLSP (so you have some access to the media, or connections of some sort) - you know the pandemic is coming! But what could you do to try to avert COVID-19, or lower the death toll? Even if you're Stephen Fry, who would believe you? What would you do????

[Dewt]

Identify an event that happened just before the outbreak with perfect accuracy. Take an entire day's worth of news and predict it to the most minute detail. Then you've got a mandate for saying "and as soon as the virus hits, take these precautions".

The hard part would be balancing successfully doing this and not doing it to such an extent that the US government kidnaps you and tries to turn you into a weapon.

[Dr Rock]

Identify an event that happened just before the outbreak with perfect accuracy. Take an entire day's worth of news and predict it to the most minute detail. Then you've got a mandate for saying "and as soon as the virus hits, take these precautions".

This occurred to me too - eg? You don't have time to brush up on recent history, so what can you predict? Johnson will be PM? Lucky Guess. Think Man/Woman, Think!

[Dewt]

I think a combination of things that you don't have to study would work. Boris becomes PM, Dem primaries, COVID-19 starts appearing, a few celebrity deaths. Lots of easy things like that combined

[Prison Biscuits]

I'm sitting at home minding my own lonesome business when suddenly my soul is jerked out of my body and transported back into the looming, hunched structure of Richard Osman, and realise I am on stage at the Leicester Square theatre and it's 2017 and Richard Herring is asking me "have you ever tasted your own cum". And I say, "yeah, when David Bowie died..." waiting for reaction, and he says, "oh really, what did it taste like" and I say "shit that already happened didn't it, I meant to say I drank my own semen while watching a hundred year old war criminal hobble round his own private castle to raise thirty million quid for the NHS because a respiratory plague is ravishing the world and Boris Johnson who is now the PM just told ys all to go out into the roads and catch it and we'll probably be fine but everything's fucked and Richard's all hah ha what are you doing a joke now, and I say, "sorry mate, I've got to go and buy a sports almanac, ah wait fuck, that's for going into the future, I mean I have to go and try and shag my mum so that I'll never be born. Catch you later alright" and it's David Icke on Wogan in 1991 all over again.

[Zetetic]

More interested in implications for body/mind duality.

Kill Richard.

[Prison Biscuits]

Really what could I do though, are Pappys Flatshare Slamdown meant to travel to Wuhan and try and shut down the wet markets?

[olliebean]

Inform the Labour leadership of precisely which of their colleagues and staffers are working against them and how, so they can be exposed and dispensed with and Labour can score a 2017 election win.

Not sure how I'd go about gaining the ear of the Labour leadership, though. Also it's possibly overly optimistic to imagine that other snakes wouldn't take the place of those ousted.

[BlodwynPig]

EAT THE BAT FIRST - THEN VISIT ALL MEMBERS OF THE TORY PARTY IN PERSON

[Chairman Yang]

I suppose if you targeted your Quantum Leap engine to 'Kettle Crisp' you'd be guaranteed to land somewhere the last decade. It's a shame we can't make the machine any more precise...