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LEGEND GARY PART TWO

Started by Fambo Number Mive, August 28, 2019, 08:17:01 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Bum Flaps

Quote from: jenna appleseed on June 28, 2022, 10:20:13 PMBulbous John enters thread loudly singing the words wrong.

Poor old John immediately gets wedged in between the menu and the border. He really is rather bulbous!

Glebe

Bulbous John spots Larval Trauma Flashbacks crossing the Nando's picket line, "SCAB!"

Bum Flaps

After twenty minutes picketing the Brighton Nandos, Bulbous John shuffles off for a nap on the beach to recover. He's rudely awakened when a horde of kids start using him as a bouncy castle, shrieking 'squash the blobfish, squash the blobfish'. 'Oh well', sighs John relaxing into it, 'they've got a good point I suppose'.

Glebe

Quote from: Bum Flaps on June 29, 2022, 12:42:07 AMAfter twenty minutes picketing the Brighton Nandos, Bulbous John shuffles off for a nap on the beach to recover. He's rudely awakened when a horde of kids start using him as a bouncy castle, shrieking 'squash the blobfish, squash the blobfish'. 'Oh well', sighs John relaxing into it, 'they've got a good point I suppose'.


Glebe

"I wish Boris Johnson had the balls to incite an attack on the Houses of Parliament, Daz. I for one would be well into it. Come on Boris, go Trump-mental!"

Fambo Number Mive

Is this one of Ledge's mates?

QuoteA selfish tourist boasted about skipping two hours of airport queues by pretending to be injured.

Wolf Jenkins, 28, was warned 'what goes around, comes around' by a wheelchair user after he posted a video about his antics at Milas-Bodrum airport in Turkey.

He can be seen limping around without his sock and shoe while airport staff dote on his supposedly 'sprained' ankle.

'Faked hurting my leg to get through security faster and onto the plane back from Ibiza,' he wrote. 'Amazing what taking one sock off can achieve.'...

Paul Calf

Boner Steve is up to his usual tricks. Gary goes round for a word to the wise.

Stoneage Dinosaurs


shoulders


Glebe

Gary loses interest in the unions thing when Bulbous John encourages him to read the Communist Manifesto.

"Loved it when you were threatening scabs with extreme violence John, but now you're a boring bastard. Reading indeed!"

shoulders

This ascends to a crescendo coda of

YER BORING BORING BASTARD

YER BORING BORING BASTARD

Glebe

Gary smirks as he introduces Bulbous John to his new friend, Strikebreaker George.

Fambo Number Mive

Gary offers to become the new deputy chief whip

"You're not even a Tory MP, Gary!"

"I'd do it for free, Daz. Someone's got to get those wavering fucks in line and back Boris! He's the best PM in decades, keeping the British end up! Boris says he wants to be PM until the 2030's! I can live with that - sounds like a great idea! Who do you think you are kidding Mr Starmer, if you think Tories are on the run..."

"Come and have a sit down Gary, you've had too much Sun. And probably too much of the Sun"

jenna appleseed

Gary dosn't really want to do any of the actual hard work that goes into being an MP. he just wants to get to be noshed by loadsa stunnas in the office without getting sacked.

Fambo Number Mive

Gary self publishes his first history book: "Classic wanks of the 18th century'

Glebe

Quote from: jenna appleseed on July 02, 2022, 01:58:55 AMGary dosn't really want to do any of the actual hard work that goes into being an MP.

His campaign slogan is 'Bulbous does all the hard work - so I don't have to!'

Bum Flaps

Bulbous John and Strikebreaker George discover they actually have a lot in common, primarily a deep hatred and fear of Gary and the consequences of Gary

jenna appleseed

"Jokes on you Gary, you're the one who's bulbous, actually."
"And also tapered, so there"


Glebe

"Dunno why they're all going to these 'Pride' parades, they've nothing to be 'proud' about!"

"Thats very clever Gary! Well done mate! Well done!"

"Oh... cheers Daz!"

jenna appleseed

Gary starts Gary Pride, just for him to show how proud he is of being Legend Gary.

He's standing outside your house, shirtless, banging his chest like an ape going "LEGE-END GAH-RY LEGE-END GAH-RY"

One of his many oddly named tag-alongs* has been forced to constantly pour stella into Gary's open mouth.

eta: * the newly christened Stella Shower Stan is very disapointed on discovering his new name.

'ere Gary my names not even Stan, wat's going on mate?'

jenna appleseed

Legend Gary misunderstands the roots of Pride and thinks they should all go to the tower for throwing bricks at The Queen.

He walked out of that Bohemien Rhapsody in disgust - "I sat there for a whole 40 20 5 minutes and didn't see HRH Elizabeth Queen once".

Glebe

The Gary Pride flag depicts a load of 'rain' drops pouring out of a can of Stella.

"Y'cant have a rainbow without the rain! Er... not that my raindrops create the gay rainbow or anything... I haven't thought this through..."

jenna appleseed

Gary Pride is only for Garys, no Daz's allowed mate.

Glebe

Daz appears in the kitchenette semi-naked and with a pineapple on his head.

"See you later Gary, just off to the big gay Pride parade! Ciao, honeybuns!"

It takes Gary all of five minutes to come out of his stunned trance, after which he gives Bulbous John a call.

"Bulbous? We're going to Gary-Con 4: Bring the Gary Pride parade forward to today! Just do it! And bring lots of testosterone!"

Glebe

Gary is supposed to be treating his new fiancée to a lovely posh meal but he sacks it off and burns tires in a field with some kids, "Pass us another Stella, son. Yeah go on have another, I've got another stolen slab there."

Paul Calf

"The PRIDE parade, Gary?"

"Yeah, Daz. Gotta show your support aintcha?"

"Um. OK, let's see it then"


Glebe

Gary is crossing Sega Jeff off his friends list, "He's so out of touch with the times."

jenna appleseed

'What about me?' shouts Playstation Pete, 'yeah and me'says Nintendo Nick.

Tiktok Tony just points and laughs while filming them all for the ticktocks.

Glebe

Dreamcast Dan is nowhere to be seen.

jenna appleseed

Dreamcast Dan The Dogfood Man to give him his full name.
(he's probably just off somewhere eating dog food straight out of the bowl again)