Baseball 2022 (if it ever happens)

[Bernice]

Got really obsessed with baseball over the past week or so during a real profound depression, not leaving bed or eating tier depression. I had to find something to distract and occupy my turbulent mind and I found the incomprehensible stat babble from the smooth-voiced announcers and the gentle murmur of the crowd interspersed with the occasional *crack* of bat on ball very soothing. It's main attraction was its impenetrability.

Truly amazing the amount of statistcs it can generate, to the point where I think that's its main purpose. I've been having to look up about 5 3-letter acronyms every 10 minutes.

And the constant consumerism of it all. Cutting to supplementary announcers whose main job is to go to the concession stand and go on about how great the hot dogs are at Fenway Park. The way the announcers don't miss a beat when punting the sponsors of each section of the game: "here's how Tampa Bay's defence looks brought to you by wearetoyota.com find factory-certified toyotas here toyota let's go places there's Arozarena, Josh Lowe, Kiermeier...". Delivered in the exact same tone and with the same weight as when imparting the objective facts of the game.

And there's so much of it - like 10 games a day.

I don't mind it.

Ha, this could be me – I got into it in lockdown in similar circumstances and for similar reasons. Hope you can dig yourself out of it soon (the depression, not the enjoying baseball).

[Cuellar]

Thanks yeah feeling a bit better these days. Been out and about etc.

What's the deal with homeruns though. The stadiums aren't all uniform so surely it's harder to hit a homerun at Fenway Park with it's massive green edifice? Is it something everyone just deals with, like some cricket grounds have longer boundaries than others?

[Famous Mortimer]

Ferris, any news on why the Blue Jays fired their manager? Seemed to be doing pretty well.

[Ferris]

He was absolute bobbins mate, and they've been massively underperforming for a long time.

I've been at work and out with friends so not 100% up to date but even a year or two ago he was thought of as an interim guy to get the team to gel ahead of the competitive window.

The underperformance is now being charged to him which is probably not fair, but at the same time someone has to take the blame. This is a once in a generation talented roster and it's not good enough to shrug and say "oh well" when they don't win anything.

[Famous Mortimer]

Fair do's.

My Cardinals made it to the national sport news this morning...for giving up a 6-run lead to the Dodgers. They even beat up on Dodgers super-pitcher and Cy Young frontrunner Tony Gonsolin, but then were terrible for the last few innings.
 

[Ferris]

Did you see every team in the AL East is now above .500? I didn't really think that was possible because of the amount of intra-league play.

[Famous Mortimer]

Did you see every team in the AL East is now above .500? I didn't really think that was possible because of the amount of intra-league play.

That is quite impressive. I always root for the Blue Jays when I see them playing.

My favourite odd stat that no-one ever mentions is that the Cardinals in...2013?...were the only team since at least the turn of the millennium to have an overall winning record but a losing record at home.

[Famous Mortimer]

Sounds like the Home Run Derby was good fun last night - ALbert Pujols beat no.1 seed Kyle Schwarber in the first round, Juan Soto dominated, Julio Rodriguez became a star, lots of good stories. But all the dodgy streaming sites I enjoy were shut down, so I didn't watch it :(

[Cuellar]

BIG PAPI'S HAT CAM

[Cuellar]

LA CAMERA DEL SOMBRERO DE PAPI GRANDE

I remember everyone going nuts for David Ortiz when the Red Sox won the World Series in 2014(?) when I was in Boston for the month. Sadly I had to fly home the day after the win, as I'd been sitting at the Harvard student bar watching the game with a kindly post grad guy who explained things to me and who tried to convince me to get a cab to Fenway to celebrate. Watching the news the next day I'm sorry I didn't go, as it looked like a full on riot. Cars overturned, things on fire.

[Famous Mortimer]

LA CAMERA DEL SOMBRERO DE PAPI GRANDE

I remember everyone going nuts for David Ortiz when the Red Sox won the World Series in 2014(?) when I was in Boston for the month. Sadly I had to fly home the day after the win, as I'd been sitting at the Harvard student bar watching the game with a kindly post grad guy who explained things to me and who tried to convince me to get a cab to Fenway to celebrate. Watching the news the next day I'm sorry I didn't go, as it looked like a full on riot. Cars overturned, things on fire.

2013, when they stuffed the Cardinals and Big Papi cemented his legacy by making us look like chumps. Can't be mad, Ortiz seems like a GBOL.

[Cuellar]

Christ that's almost ten years ago, that's upsetting. Life seemed full of promise.

[Cuellar]

But as a result of that trip to Cambridge/Boston I feel sort of like I have a claim to support the Red Sox, but they're a bit obvious, might as well support the Yankees. And I dunno, I can't watch Devers, with his massive wad of god knows what, forever chewing and spitting, it's gross.

Friend of mine is a big Orioles fan for some reason (he's from Hertfordshire). But that would feel like jumping on a bandwagon.

Was going to go all in on the Mets, but watching one of their games they had a 'Veteran of the Day' segment where some Vietnam vet got to go out on field and soak up applause, was awful.

I like the Cubs because of the Mountain Goats song 'Cubs in Five'.

I have an uncle and cousins who live in Minnesota.

I'm all at sea.

[Famous Mortimer]

If you're trying to find a team that doesn't have Military Worship Days, then you'll be waiting for a while. I was at a Cardinals game once and was physically blocked from walking along a path by an usher when the National Anthem was playing. So I only go to games now if I can blag a ticket, and then I make sure I miss the anthem bollocks.

Fuck the people who make you feel bad for getting on a bandwagon. Jomboy Media, the best baseball coverage and analysis out there, is led by two lifelong Yankees fans. Be a Yankees fan! Who cares?

[Ferris]

If you became a Yankees fan it would be over between us, I'm afraid.

[Cuellar]

Cool Yankees it is.

Only kidding!!!

[Ferris]

Frankly I view everyone who follows baseball but not the blue jays with the kind of bemusement I reserve for people who collect whippets or paint tin soldiers in their sheds.

Poor lost souls.

[Cuellar]

I do quite like the Blue Jays. Vladdy is a cuddly little fella, and I enjoyed Alek Manoah pitching while mic'ed up in the All Star game.

[Ferris]

Jays 3 runs away from the all time MLB record for runs scored. Let's goooo

[Famous Mortimer]

Jays 3 runs away from the all time MLB record for runs scored. Let's goooo

Nice one!

Watched the Cardinals - Reds game last night where Tyler Stevenson, Reds catcher, took a foul tip to the shoulder and broke his collar-bone. He tried to carry on playing, too, until picking up a loose ball made him cry out in pain. Poor fella, hope his recovery is easy and quick.

[Cuellar]

Pretty slapstick from the Red Sox in the field in that game. Although tbh they were already about 10 runs behind when the nonsense began.

[Famous Mortimer]

I love the Reds commentary team.

Cardinals switch-hitter Dylan Carlson was hit by pitch as a lefty and righty tonight, the first Cardinal to do so since 1913. But the guy who did it back in 1913 also played for the Reds, so they had some stories seemingly ready to go off the top of their heads, one of which about how he went on to be manager of the Yankees during their "murderer's row" days, another about how he got his law degree but his professor told him to try baseball instead to make more money. That law professor was future President William Howard Taft!

It was just their obvious delight to go down a weird rabbit hole of baseball history that I enjoyed. The Cardinals commentary team is absolutely rotten.

(oh, and for some reason for an inning or so the Blue Jays rout from last night kept breaking through the broadcast, pirate style)

[Cuellar]

The sheer force of the thrashing clearly overpowered all electromagnetic waves

[Ferris]

Pretty slapstick from the Red Sox in the field in that game. Although tbh they were already about 10 runs behind when the nonsense began.

The inside the park grand slam was one for the ages.

[Famous Mortimer]

When the Cardinals travel to Toronto, they'll be without MVP candidate Paul Goldschmidt and Nolan Arenado, neither of whom are vaccinated. Fucking idiots, and I sure hope these two games aren't crucial when it gets to the end of the season.

[Ferris]

I'd be lying if I said it wasn't very funny from my end. These absolute herberts are knackering their own team for no reason.

It's about time the international border was a benefit tbh.

[Famous Mortimer]

One of the Cardinals-centric podcasts I listen to did a bit at the end of their most recent episode about which Cardinals might not make the trip to Canada, and those two never even came up in the discussion. Brendan Donovan, the mulleted rookie from Alabama, was top of their list, but he appears fine to cross the border.

[Ferris]

Red Sox defensive uh-ohs from the last month or two:

https://mobile.twitter.com/Jomboy_/status/1551542380016328704

[Cuellar]

The inside the park grand slam was one for the ages.

Yeah that was incredible. It was pretty funny to see just how far behind Duran the ball landed.

[Famous Mortimer]

How did your favourite team get on at the trade deadline?

The Cardinals did the thing they do every time, which is hang around on the biggest trade name, then never make the deal, then end up with a tolerably decent pitcher on a short-term deal. Two players I really liked, Edmundo Sosa and Harrison Bader, were traded away for not much, too.