Football Thread 2022/23 - [Redacted] is available for selection

[Inspector Norse]

What I never get about "lazy" or wasted-talent players like Delle Alli or, say, Hatem Ben Arfa or Balotelli or Recoba is that they must have put so much work in to reach the top level in the first place: not just the technical skills that outstrip nearly everyone in the world, but also training for the fitness, the positioning, the tactics, the second-to-second muscle-memory skills and decision-making. And then they somehow just start goofing off and fail to fulfil their potential despite the international caps and big salaries and medals.
If they were lazy and ill-disciplined all along, how did they make it past the academies and into some of the world's biggest leagues? Natural talent and technique alone don't make a top player, they make those lads that go on Instagram doing kickup tricks.

[bgmnts]

Presumably when you're making more money a week than most people earn in a year, having ladies thrown at you every 20 minutes and having constant adoration from millions of people, you probably stop caring about busting a gut.

Eye of the tiger innit.

Watched a hilarious documentary about Son Heung-min and how his dad subjected him to child abuse every day and that is why he works so hard as a footballer even now.

Maybe they just have other things in life they care about, who knows.

[Wonderful Butternut]

I think with some, they work in the youth ranks and reserves and even the first team if they're at smaller clubs and then when they start getting in or around the first team, or get a transfer to a prestigious club, they think "I've made it now. I don't need to keep breaking my bollocks" and stop working hard.

Anthony le Tallec admitted that's what happened to him. Got his move from Le Harve to Liverpool, got a few games in the first team, was looking decent enough, and thus felt he'd made the big time and thought he didn't need to try anymore.

[Psybro]

To me Ronaldo and Messi are so remarkable largely because neither of them got on the gear and cheeseburgers despite having completed every achievement.

I was thinking of Michael Johnson earlier (the City one not the athlete one).  He's only 34 now and quit the game a decade ago.

[Inspector Norse]

Oh there's clearly lots of different reasons, it's just for that small handful that really do briefly reach the top, I wonder both how they did it and why they threw it away. You can see with a Ravel Morrison, for example, that he was always doomed but others must have been so well-coached and managed and somehow managed to escape that once they were Billy Big Bollocks.

With Michael Johnson, wasn't it just that he had so many injuries he eventually gave up and hit the pies?

And then you get someone like Sebastian Deisler or the tragic Robert Enke, who just couldn't deal with the whole circus.

[Psybro]

With Michael Johnson, wasn't it just that he had so many injuries he eventually gave up and hit the pies?

Yeah I think it was injuries and possibly some mental health issues either coinciding or resulting from.  Whilst it's been well documented how the game has historically done very badly at preventing that scenario, these other players who seem determined to be clowns might also be uncared for in their way.

[FalknerHinton]

To me Ronaldo and Messi are so remarkable largely because neither of them got on the gear and cheeseburgers despite having completed every achievement.

Give it time. The real (Brazilian) Ronaldo is clearly living his best life in a cake factory at the moment, and I for one am very pleased for him.

[Kankurette]

Didn't he turn out for a Sunday League side recently? As for Alli, he was MK Dons' next best thing and I guess when you're in the lower leagues, you're playing your balls off in the hope one of the big cheeses will sign you. And you go to a big cheese and either continue to play well, or you end up getting complacent.

In non-related news, the Upshot had a heartwarming article about how a guy in Chile found his beagle, who had been missing for weeks, after it invaded the pitch at a second division game and shat in the six-yard box. The dog has the face of one who has done a crime and does not care.

[FalknerHinton]

I think that was Roberto Carlos, but maybe it was two different teams?

Not the shitting dog, obviously.

[Armed Traffic Warden]

But Alli did play well years after his big move. Only explanation left is that when he was cryogenically frozen some overweight sod nabbed his mojo.


  I actually think it's due to mixture of things. His house was broken into and he was threatened, he had that shit going on with his dad, he was having hamstring injuries; was setting up a clothing line and the stability at his club was disappearing; all inside a year. For a guy who was supremely confident, I think he lost his self belief and can't get his head out of a bad place. He was once (for several years) an 80 million pound player. He's now worth football pennies and is just 26.

[Inspector Norse]

Interesting story this morning that West Ham's opponents in the Europa Conference will be weakened due to two of their players being refused UK visas because of Brexit. I wonder what repercussions there might be for English football if this happens at a higher level, in a Champions League game, say? I guess usually the ties are arranged far enough in advance for all the paperwork to get sorted but not impossible that it could happen in a CL knockout.

[Kankurette]

I think that was Roberto Carlos, but maybe it was two different teams?

Not the shitting dog, obviously.

It was Roberto Carlos. I'm getting my fat Brazilians mixed up.

[Kankurette]

Speaking of shitbaggery, who pissed in Lacazette's chips?

I thought he was going to snog Cedric.

[Crenners]

That's what playing competitive sport in a squad is like.

[the hum]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBNqNle4ikU&ab_channel=lecassette

[Kankurette]

Ryan Giggs' alleged love poem:

Unequivocally our love was fate. I fell in love with you at first sight. I remember cos I was as high as a kite.
Those beautiful eyes made me shiver.
I'm not going to lie I think of you I dream of you. Can't help thinking pulling you was my greatest ever coup.
That stomach those abs, those pictures you send so I can keep tabs.
You make me feel funny down there. Especially when you're there and you look up and stare.
I am beginning to think you are always right. That's OK it will keep us tight.
I'm gonna end by saying you are my love, my friend, my soul.
And most of all you believe in me which makes me as hard as a totem pole.

[dontpaintyourteeth]

Ryan Giggs' alleged love poem:

kept waiting for him to rhyme something with "shiver". quite an avant-garde move really

[imitationleather]

Fortunately he's a psychopath and so the people mocking his poem will have no effect on him at all.

[Kankurette]

He's no Eric Cantona.

[Chollis]

starting to think Giggs is a bit of a wrong'un

[imitationleather]

starting to think Giggs is a bit of a wrong'un

What name does he post on here under?

[Joe Qunt]

What name does he post on here under?

_@DeezNuts

[Stone Cold Steve Austin]

my head has been spinning since I saw this https://twitter.com/barneyronay/status/1560587197304094723


This isn't evidence against Ryan Giggs, it's meant to make him look good. I can't believe it, I'd sooner do a 10 stretch than have people know this about me

[kitsofan34]

"G is for gorgeous,

R is for radiant,

E is for extraordinary,

V is for vivacious,

I is for idolised, by me,

L is for legs,

L is for legs,

E is for everything I've ever wanted."



"You make my heart skip a beat, I even love massaging your feet."

[Blinder Data]

my head has been spinning since I saw this https://twitter.com/barneyronay/status/1560587197304094723


This isn't evidence against Ryan Giggs, it's meant to make him look good. I can't believe it, I'd sooner do a 10 stretch than have people know this about me

Reading that poem initially and suprisingly made me feel sorry for him. The knowledge that thousands are laughing at your execrable love poetry would make me never want to leave the house again.

But he introduced that himself? Footballers truly exist on another plane.

[monkfromhavana]

I think with some, they work in the youth ranks and reserves and even the first team if they're at smaller clubs and then when they start getting in or around the first team, or get a transfer to a prestigious club, they think "I've made it now. I don't need to keep breaking my bollocks" and stop working hard.

I think when I'd signed my first big-big money deal I'd down tools the minute the ink was dry on the paper. I'd buy a little house next to the training ground, happily train with the youth team and pick up cones etc and eat mixed grills every night.

[mjwilson]

those pictures you send so I can keep tabs

that feeling when you even include your abusive tendencies in your love poem

[Rolf Lundgren]

Reading that poem initially and suprisingly made me feel sorry for him. The knowledge that thousands are laughing at your execrable love poetry would make me never want to leave the house again.

It's almost concrete proof he's a psychopath. Doesn't think for one minute that it makes him look like a complete idiot.

And speaking of Man U, this Casemiro signing couldn't look like anything other than a massive waste of money if it tried. Over thirty, long contract, big wages, nothing left to accomplish, sign him up!

[xxxx xxx x xxx]

And speaking of Man U, this Casemiro signing couldn't look like anything other than a massive waste of money if it tried. Over thirty, long contract, big wages, nothing left to accomplish, sign him up!

I think it's a bit of a coo.

[Crenners]

Casemiro is extremely finished. The idea that he is coming to Utd to bring all his experience and talent to bear is ludicrous. Total retirement payday, no doubt whatsoever. If you think otherwise, you're a total loser.