Nicknames for kids at your school

[badaids]

I have been thinking about the nicknames bestowed on people while at school.  Behind every one an (apocryphal?) story of playground lore, and the cruel wit of children.  Here are the stand out ones from my secondary.  Nearly all of them have carried over into adult life to the chagrin of the owner.

Honeyrub.
Dobber.
Tefal.
Spamhead.
Boilie.
Goon.
Bobby the Pigeon.
Eagle.
Stupid Carlos.
Cod.
Paxo Pikey.
Googiff.
Poltergeist.
Mr Pube.
Spacky Wheelchair Boots.
Flange.
Butch.
Starrey Chicken.
Kryten.
Igor.
ISBN.
Yoghurt.
Citroën.
Five Stones.
AIDS victim.
Le crapaud.
Jessie Boy.
Ov.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

One of mine was actually Derek.  It was years before Ricky Gervais's creation and the result of someone mishearing my proper name.

[shoulders]

Puddle was the best, and he was already Puddle by the time he arrived at secondary school, unquestioned acceptance by the whole school, Puddle. I think he actual name was Andrew, with an even more bland surname.

Let's see. There was also

- Tina (surname was Austin)
- Cueball (skinhead)
- Chutney (created by me, already into forced memes, but that stuck)
- Daff (Catherine D)
- Carpo (surname Carpenter)
- Fish (Surname Codd, we had two other fish based surnames, both Haddock, but they avoided this)
- Vandy (dutch surname)
- Ziggy (one at every school presumably)

[badaids]

Why was he called Puddle?

Honeyrub is one of my favorites. The story was that his parents used to make him strip naked, rub honey on himself and stand next to the TV while they watched it.  Eventually that became that he used to run home from school eager to do it.  He hated it.

Ov is still called Ov, always has been and always will be.  No one is sure why but I'm fairly certain he got called an ovary one day at and it got shortened to Ov and then stuck forever.  Even his wife calls him it now, no one even remembers his first name.

[Good One of Wally]

I have a hypothesis that most schools in the late 70s/early 80s would have had a Davros.

Can anyone confirm?

(NB: a child would have the nickname "Davros" rather than there being actual Davroses going to school for nefarious purposes obscure. People would have noticed, especially with wheelchair access being what it was.)

[badaids]

I have a hypothesis that most schools in the late 70s/early 80s would have had a Davros.

Can anyone confirm?

(NB: a child would have the nickname "Davros" rather than there being actual Davroses going to school for nefarious purposes obscure. People would have noticed, especially with wheelchair access being what it was.)

If we'd has a child in a wheelchair I have no doubt that they'd have been Davros.

We did have a Kryten, not because he had a square head, but because he had an issue with his arms which meant he used to walk around with his elbows sticking out and his hand pointing in like Kryten.

[Icehaven]

When I was in 6th form everyone referred to a friend of mine's mum as Davros, but I wasn't aware of the character and didn't know it was a nickname so I thought it was her actual name until someone explained it to me (apparently it was because she had some kind of throat disorder that made her sound like him.) I just thought she must have been Greek or something. 

[Shaxberd]

A selection:
- Nugget (no idea, arrived at secondary school with name already in place, but he did look like a Nugget)
- Vito (Dan -> Danny deVito -> Vito)
- Shrek, and his younger brother Shrek 2 (evolved from SRHK, short for 'scary red headed kid', because both were very tall and very ginger)
- Bald (once shaved his eyebrows off for a dare)
- Mopless/Mop (surname Topliss, had long shaggy hair)

Most variations: Wham, one of the many Jameses in our year. Went through a nickname evolution of James -> Jamm-ess -> Jamface -> Whamface -> Wham.

Least PC: Jason Bew got Spoonerised to 'Basin Jew', or more often, just Jew Lad. Serious instructions were given to not call him by his nickname when visiting a Holocaust memorial.

[BlodwynPig]

The only one i remember was Pob

[BlodwynPig]

Oh, and dog shit Dan, for obvious reasons.

[Russ L]

Puddle was the best, and he was already Puddle by the time he arrived at secondary school, unquestioned acceptance by the whole school, Puddle. I think he actual name was Andrew, with an even more bland surname.

It must be something about Andrews - we had an Andrew who was universally referred to as "Horace", for reasons that no-one seemed to know.

[thenoise]

My favourite was 'Oh Really?'. So named because he kept coming out with little facts all the time, to which the only response possible was 'Oh Really?'
Cue his every contribution to class discussions being drowned out by a chorus of 'Oh Really? Oh Really?'. Poor chap.

[Gurke and Hare]

The Davros at our school was one of the teachers, on account of how his brother was one of the actors who played Davros.

[badaids]

It must be something about Andrews - we had an Andrew who was universally referred to as "Horace", for reasons that no-one seemed to know.

It's true.  Ov was an Andrew.

The story of Shrek 2 is amazing, just because he was Shrek's younger brother, later expanded to the acronym.

[Jockice]

If we'd has a child in a wheelchair I have no doubt that they'd have been Davros.

Good job I didn't have one in those days then! I was at secondary school in the late 70s/early 80s and there was no Davros among our number. It may be because I left in 1984 or cos it's still earlyish but I can't remember many.

I of course was Jock (Jockice was only briefly used by a few close friends).Didn't want it, didn't like it, refused to answer to it at first but I was going to get called it no matter what I did. Even by teachers. Some pupils actually thought it was my real name and I got called it at home. I didn't. Ever. But it could have been worse.*

Some that I can remember:

There was a lad in the year below who wasn't known for his sparkling conversation**. At the time The Piranhas were in the charts he became known as Boring Bob Grover. He was puzzled by people calling him Bob but thought it was some sort of compliment. Then someone told him and he went round hitting people. He was a big lad too. Last saw him about a decade ago. While talking to him I had to keep reminding myself his name is Pat. If he ever comes up in conversation with my friends we still call him Boring Bob or Grover or BBG.

Smut. Year above. First letter of his first name and first three of his surname. He was a cunt.
Cec. Year above. Looked like he should be called Cecil rather than Jonathan. Looked posh. Wasn't.
Corky Johnson. My year. Looked like Korky The Cat*. His surname wasn't Johnson.
Nobby. My year. Not sure. But he wasn't fond of it. Which of course meant he was going to get called it.
Sid. Year below. The school 'punk' (ie, he'd turn up on own clothes days wearing a pyjama jacket.) Later for some reason unknown to me became Potter. His surname wasn't Potter.
Salt. Year below. Surname Garlick.
Josh. Year below. Real name Joseph but he looked more like a Josh.
Lozzer. Year below. First name Maurice surname started with L. Also became known as Jelly because he had a 'wobbly' mouth.
The Washing Machine. Two years below. Huge bloke, big rugby player. And there was already a sportsman nicknamed The Fridge.
Lurch. Three years below. Seemed to go through puberty before anyone else in his year and indeed some in my year. Actually a nice kid. My first ever snog was with his sister.

*I vaguely knew another Scottish kid at another secondary school who was known as Haggis. Also one of the girls from my year told me a few years after we'd left that my (non-disabled) best mate there was called The (ableist word I know I can't use on here) From Outer Space among her friends. I have no doubt that my impairment and hair colour were sneered at (often to my face) but as far as I'm aware I was never given a nickname because of them.

I also vaguely knew a kid from my neighbourhood universally called Spazzy, because he had a foreign surname starting with 'Spa' and was also a bit geeky looking. I bumped into him a couple of weeks ago. I must have looked a bit puzzled (it's at least 35 years since I last saw him) because he then went: "It's Spazzy!" Obviously come to terms with it. You have to.

**Another dull bloke who I knew became known as Champers. His conversation was rather flat.

*** A non-school friend of mine's younger brother became known as Biffo The Bear because of his resemblance to that particular comic character. My mate got really angry when anyone called him that.

Anyway, what about the situation where two different people have the same nickname for different reasons? I used to know two Stubbys. They knew each other too. Maybe they should have had a fight to see who had the rights to the name.

[Jockice]

It must be something about Andrews - we had an Andrew who was universally referred to as "Horace", for reasons that no-one seemed to know.

Spazzy was an Andrew!

[Video Game Fan 2000]

ginger kid with receding hairline: robocop
kid who needed baggy shorts in pe: donkey
the child that darwin failed: monkey jaw
irish kid regardless of surname: fitzy
skinny kid with round head: mr pringles, johnny (as in, condom machine)
hippy 6th former with big sideburns: supergrass

[badaids]

Spazzy was an Andrew!

I'm sorry you had to go through what you had to.  Looking back the level of shit that kids put other kids through is horrible, and the resilience that some have to develop is incredible.

[badaids]

ginger kid with receding hairline: robocop

Please expand.

[dontpaintyourteeth]

I must have been at a very dull unimaginative school (no way!) because most people were referred to by their surname (Warren! Purdy!) or, in particularly creative cases, their surname with a y at the end (Maggsy! Burnsy!). The one exception to this rule was someone everyone called "Boggy". I never found out where he got that name.

[Jockice]

The Davros at our school was one of the teachers, on account of how his brother was one of the actors who played Davros.

One of my very first threads was on teacher's nicknames. My favourite was Lionel Blair because of the width of his trousers. I'm fond of it because I was there the very first time someone - not me - called him that and also because I found out that he was still being called it a decade after we'd left.

There were also several nuns there. One very thin one was known to my year as Sister Stick (or occasionally The Mother Inferior) but not long ago I found out that pupils from years below called her Sister Mary Malnutrition. And that's the second time I've used that word on here in the last 24 hours.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Please expand.

when he ran against the wind he looked like this https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMTM0NTExNTgyMF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNTMwODU2NA@@._V1_.jpg

he got really mad, hit a kid over it and got a buzz cut afterwards. but his hair always seemed to stop at north pole. legend has it he shaved that line himself so it would look thicker and it stuck that way. he was a dick head. someone tried to force "rainbow" as a nickname because of the perfect half circle his hairline drew and did look a bit like the Rainbow logo when he looked at you head on

[Jockice]

I'm sorry you had to go through what you had to.  Looking back the level of shit that kids put other kids through is horrible, and the resilience that some have to develop is incredible.

Nah, it's fine mate. I'm not called Andrew. I was actually reasonably popular at school (some kids got it much worse than me and often for no strictly defined reasons) but as everywhere there are always a few arseholes.

[badaids]

when he ran against the wind he looked like this https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMTM0NTExNTgyMF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNTMwODU2NA@@._V1_.jpg

he got really mad, hit a kid over it and got a buzz cut afterwards. but his hair always seemed to stop at north pole. legend has it he shaved that line himself so it would look thicker and it stuck that way. he was a dick head. someone tried to force "rainbow" as a nickname because of the perfect half circle his hairline drew and did look a bit like the Rainbow logo when he looked at you head on

I love the logic behind this. 

And it's a perfect application of the playground commandmeny that 1) you can't choose your own nickname, and 2) the more you resist the nickname foisted upon you the harder it will stick on you.

[Minami Minegishi]

Everyone losing their minds about Bob's 'Sniper's Dream' but the guy in my school was instead nicknamed 'Headsbiggerthanbody' which is preposterously long and convoluted.

[Jockice]

I love the logic behind this. 

And it's a perfect application of the playground commandmeny that 1) you can't choose your own nickname, and 2) the more you resist the nickname foisted upon you the harder it will stick on you.

Exactly. Graham Linehan and Gordon Sumner can just fuck off.

[Jockice]

Oh yeah, High IQ. Because they were his initials and he was tall. But not brainy at all.

[jobotic]

My favourite was 'Oh Really?'. So named because he kept coming out with little facts all the time, to which the only response possible was 'Oh Really?'
Cue his every contribution to class discussions being drowned out by a chorus of 'Oh Really? Oh Really?'. Poor chap.

Knew a boring bloke known as Tell-Me-Less West. From the phrase "Really? Tell me less".


Boy called Bullshit Brown for obvious reasons. Girl that was known as Tone for some reason.

Had one myself but it'd give away my surname.

[The Culture Bunker]

Being much taller than all the other kids, as well as being thin and ugly, I got 'Plug' a fair bit growing up along the other usual ones: Stick, Tinribs etc.

We must have had a real lack of imagination in our town, as I don't recall any others bar obvious stuff like 'Spud' for anyone called Murphy (which got confusing, as there were about five in my year alone), 'Buzz' for a Burrows and 'Mole' for the short kid with the thick glasses.

[shoulders]

Why was he called Puddle?

No-one knows. All we knew is his best mate from Primary School called him it, and he couldn't explain why either.