How many people do you find interesting?

[butnut]

But why is it such a struggle to converse 'sensibly' with the opposite sex? I have quite a few male friends, not as many as I have female friends obviously, but we don't sit in the pub chatting in gender specific groups (unless there's been a football match on *yawn*, I'm sorry, I know I'm missing something, so many people can't be so passionate for no reason, but I just don't get it). We chat about films, music, books, life, politics - FUCK, sometimes the lads and ladies even AGREE! *Shock horror* What I object to is having my arse groped or having to listen to some pissed up wanker telling me how much money he earns or what his car cost, like I care. And I'm not a bitch - if a guy comes over and tries to start a conversation, a proper one, like he actually wants to get to know me - I'll play ball and if I'm not interested I'll let him know that nicely. If he buys me a drink I'll buy him one back (mostly because I don't want him thinking I'm going to shag him for the price of a rum and coke). We're not EVIL you know? Honestly - I do despair sometimes.

How nice to hear this opinion - and I really mean it. It's all about confidence really. When you think about it, as long as you're fairly intelligent and interesting (as most of us here probably are), people are going to be happy to talk to you.  I realised a few days ago, that it doesn't take much to just start talking to women, and they might actually sometimes enjoy it. I'm, definately going to be a bit more pro-active in my approach.

(cut to about midnight tonight. Here's butnut pissed and alone in his flat, moaning on the internet about his inability to meet or talk to women!)

[gazzyk1ns]

I was about to start my reply here with "Heh, it must be hard being a female out on the town sometimes, wankers telling you about their job/car..." But to be honest, it can't be that bad for you? It's naivety on the part of those estate-agent sounding guys but all you see if you turn on the telly these days is women singing about how they've landed a "fit" guy with a great car and loads of money and immaculate taste in the latest wanky fashionwear. They are being shallow cocks but all they are trying to do is be nice, "conform" and entertain you... just fit in with what they think pleases you. I should imagine it's a lot easier than being a male out on the town, I don't find it hard to just chat to the opposite sex when I'm out as the girl usually likes the attention if nothing else, but a lot of time I have the same frustrations as you, coming from females - all they ever ask about is what job you do/have had, if you like the dire shit that's playing far too loud over your conversation. Bar talk like that really annoys me because whilst it's not interesting, stimulating, or pleasureable... the only alternative is to be rude or at least antisocial. Either way you will look an idiot and have a bad time, you might as well just go along with it.

[Gazeuse]

I had my arse groped in a pub in Hertford not so long ago by members of the Hertford Women's Rugby Club. They must've been really desperate!!!

I'd still dispute that most men are dense.

[FrizzBit]

I didn't mean to start a 'Poor Little Me' thread here - if that's what I've done?
It's just that you're all accusing me of generalising, while I think that YOU'RE generalising! :-) Of course there are silly bitches who're attracted to guys with money and nothing else going for them, just as there are men who're attracted to women with blonde hair and big tits and nothing else going for them. Such is life. And it never ruins my night when you get this kind of loser latch on to you - you just get rid of him. *shrugs* Easy enough, it's just depressing, same way it must be for blokes when a girl blanks him for NOT being a twat. ;-)
As I get older I just start getting more selective about where I go - unfortunately that also cuts down on the number of new NICE people you meet. And much as I love my bloke mates, I would eventually like to find someone to have dirty monkey sex with, and they're off the menu. If you see what I mean?
The thing is that any decent blokes are a) not going to bother because they've decided they wouldn't find me 'interesting' because I'm wearing a skirt and lipstick or b) not going to bother because I'm obviously a twat who's only after money - because I'm wearing a skirt and lipstick or c) is like Butnut and so riddled with selfloathing he doesn't think anyone will be interested in him ;-b

So no, not poor little me, I'm very happy, I have a life, loads of really good mates and a great time, but you'll forgive me if I try to squash this attitude that all girls are brainless tarts who wouldn't know real love and mutual respect if it jumped up and bit them, whenever I think I see it. My bitches and I are NOT like that. I hope!

[butnut]

The thing is that any decent blokes are a) not going to bother because they've decided they wouldn't find me 'interesting' because I'm wearing a skirt and lipstick or b) not going to bother because I'm obviously a twat who's only after money - because I'm wearing a skirt and lipstick or c) is like Butnut and so riddled with selfloathing he doesn't think anyone will be interested in him ;-b

<All my fragile confidence shatters in a second>

No, only joking!

Ok, no decent women will talk to me becuase a) I find it so hard to look into their eyes without feeling like the biggest creep of all time or b) I am clearly coming across as only being after them for their tits and I'm far far too pissed or c) even if they do make a hint of a move I flinch and run back to the bar, where it's safe and warm.

[FrizzBit]

Awwww. Poor baby. :-b

I'd offer you one of my mates, but from the sounds of that, they'd eat you alive.
:-D

[Nearly Annually]

Ok, no decent women will talk to me becuase a) I find it so hard to look into their eyes without feeling like the biggest creep of all time or b) I am clearly coming across as only being after them for their tits and I'm far far too pissed or c) even if they do make a hint of a move I flinch and run back to the bar, where it's safe and warm.

Or d) there are no decent women. Well, you gotta explore each logical avenue. < clicky wink >

[butnut]

Awwww. Poor baby. :-b

I'd offer you one of my mates, but from the sounds of that, they'd eat you alive.
:-D

Bloody hell - I am scared now! ;-)

[FrizzBit]

Or d) there are no decent women. Well, you gotta explore each logical avenue. < clicky wink >

For that comment, I'm going to make you my little dancing monkey. I'll keep you in a cage in the corner of my room and feed you scraps. Which bedding material do you prefer little monkey? Sawdust or newspapers?

[Nearly Annually]

Kleenex.

[FrizzBit]

:lol

Exxxxxxxxxxxxcellent! My first excuse to use the electric cattle prod.
You will learn little monkey, Oh yes, you WILL learn....

Now stand still while I hose you down.

[butnut]

(cut to about midnight tonight. Here's butnut pissed and alone in his flat, moaning on the internet about his inability to meet or talk to women!)

Ha ha ha! Look at me! I spoke to one woman all night, and she was the fat girlfriend of a mate! I made no inroads at all into the opposite sex. But I am pissed and alone. Hooray!

[23 Daves]

And much as I love my bloke mates, I would eventually like to find someone to have dirty monkey sex with, and they're off the menu. If you see what I mean?

No, not really.  My girlfriend and I were mates for about a year before we started a relationship with each other, and it hasn't done us any harm.  If you like someone, get on with them and fancy them, that's fantastic.  Where's the obstacle?  If you don't fancy your male friends, though, fair enough.  Or, of course, they might be spoken for.  

If you'll allow me to wander off-topic briefly, though, I got really cynical about this issue a few years ago - I used to have loads of female friends back when I was at university, and they all pretty much ditched me as soon as they got long-term partners, as if the late-night chats and company we used to keep with each other suddenly became redundant (often, I might add, due to suspicious and jealous boyfriends - I'm not completely blaming the women here).  The joke is I actually fancied one or two of them but always kept it quiet back in the day for the sake of the 'friendship'.  Silly Daves.  I'm lucky if I get an e-mail a year from them these days... it just proved to me you have to act on your instincts a bit more, really.  If you like someone, tell them.  They're not going to cut you out of their life (if they're actually worth knowing) unless you deliver your intentions in a really over-the-top manner.  So that's my condescending advice to everyone here tonight (or this afternoon, as it is back in Blighty).

The thing is that any decent blokes are a) not going to bother because they've decided they wouldn't find me 'interesting' because I'm wearing a skirt and lipstick

Eh?!  That's so untrue!  So you're uninteresting because you've made an effort to dress up?  Doesn't figure in the brains of any men I know, I'm afraid, even the dumbest ones.  If you're dressed in white high heels, fishnets and a leopardskin coat assumptions may be made, yes, but only of the 'oh dear, she's a bit tacky' kind.  And that's a door that swings both ways.  God knows dressing like that has never got me anywhere with the ladies either.

It is true to say that if you do look incredibly attractive though (and I can't vouch for that one way or the other) then some men will be intimidated out of approaching you.  That just means you have to make a move yourself...

but you'll forgive me if I try to squash this attitude that all girls are brainless tarts who wouldn't know real love and mutual respect if it jumped up and bit them, whenever I think I see it. My bitches and I are NOT like that. I hope!

You're allowed that.  I think the problem of most men on this site, though, isn't really that the women they meet wouldn't know real love when they saw it - just that they would, but they'd see it coming from a dribbling, skinny pale and slightly diseased looking comedy fan, and they'd rather run round the block a hundred times than get involved.  I can't say I blame them, personally.  As Charles Bukowski once said, you've got to choose the best provider for your offspring, and who could honestly blame a lot of women for the choices they don't make?