Disproportionate Celebrity

[Purple Tentacle]

Which celebrities can you think of that have done little to merit the respect they've recieved, disproportionate to their actual achievements?


I'm honestly not talking about Jade Goody or TPT-types, who are obviously Heat magazine fluff blah blah celebrities, I'm talking about people who are percieved as being successful in their field, without having the trousers to back themselves up.


Gavin Esler is my first vote. Despite having written a few books about America, and presenting a re-heated hatchet job on Lee Harvey Oswald and telling us that we are fools, Gavin Esler has never done anything noteworthy in the field of news broadcasting.

"And now on BBC2 it's Newsnight (yay!).... with Gavin Esler (boo!)"... my thrice a week dissapointment.

Yes you have slightly lazy broadcasters like Martin Bell or Michael Beurke, but they have incredibly memorable news stories to their name to back up their laziness, but Esler, as far as I can remember, hasn't.

Actually, while I'm on the subject, why is "Sir" Trevor McDonald so reverred? It isn't JUST because he's black is it?



Anyway, nomination number two is Henry Kissinger... even now he can be relied upon to give speeches for vast sums of money, and despite being wanted for war crimes in a variety of countries, still is treated with elder statesman-like respect.

For what? Authorising a disasterous and devastating attack on an innocent country, plunging it into bloody genocide, and serving under a corrupt administration that the USA would rather forget they voted for?
For telling Chairman Mao that "power is the ultimate aphrodisiac"....?  Why the respect?


Any more for any more?

[Morrisfan82]

Why is Dame Judi Dench supposedly the world's greatest living actress when it seems all she's ever been in is a load of crappy sitcoms?

[chand]

I suppose Martin Bashir would come under that category. He simply happened to ask questions to Princess Diana and now he seems to be Lord Of All Interviews, drafted in to make Event Television. And lots of people suddenly seem to care what he thinks.

I bet Rageh Omaar was a bit embarrassed to become a celebrity after being deemed the leading pin-up of all BBC war reporters in Iraq, and coming home to a bunch of interviews about how he's now a sex symbol.

[neuteredcats]

My nomination is.......

Ragi Omar

For jumping onto the Iraq bandwagon and riding that bastard full tilt to the horizon...

For years to come, when they look back on his broadcasting career, he will probably forever be remembered for his memorable report on the 'iconic' downing of the statue of Saddam Hussein at the 'end' of the Iraq war.

What looked like hordes of jubilant Iraqis tearing down the statue of their murderous dictator was spun by the media out of all proportion and actually consisted of a gang of about 50 or so disenfranchised, bored yobs looking for any excuse for a bit of vandelism and wanton destruction!!!!

But then we all knew that anyway didn't we???

[Still Not George]

As a programmer I am honour-bound to mention Bill Gates. Constantly referred to in the press as 'uber-boffin', despite not having identifiably written a line of code or even been involved in the design process of anything in over 10 years.

[Partridge's Love Child]

Osama Bin Laden.  Where was he on September 11, eh?  I'll tell yer - wanking in a cave to a picture of Dirty Den, that's where.  Glory hunting beardy.

Oh, and Darren fucking Fletcher.  Can't pass, can't tackle, can't shoot, can't dribble, has no first touch, no physcial ability to hold off players, no vision and no pace but yet gets an increasing number of starts when Saturday comes.

[Purple Tentacle]

Spoooooky simultanious hatred of Raggy there.

Did anybody catch that Viz a year ago with the "Raggy Omaar Special"? With 26 Raggy facts!

"I is for Intercourse..... Raggy has got two lovely children, which means he must have done intercourse in a lady."

"O is for Orange... When he was 13 , Raggy Omaar knocked over a whole glass of orange juice onto the kitchen table. His mum quickly cleaned it up with a cloth, and the incident was swiftly forgotten."

"C is for Cambridge... Cambridge is the name of a posh university. But Raggy didn't go there... he went to Oxford."

[smoker]

henry kssinger did a lot of good work for robert evans

[chand]

Spoooooky simultanious hatred of Raggy there.

I don't hate him, like I said, I think he was probably a bit embarrassed by it, I don't think he cultivated the image that was suddenly thrust on him. But I could be wrong.

As for Trevor, I dunno, there's something comforting about the guy. Having said that, he reads the news in a bizarre way with completely wrong intonation, and I'm surprised his name has the pulling power to get used on that dreadful 'Tonight With Trevor McDonald', wherein he usually records two 25-second links for the beginning and end, and the rest is all someone else's report, but he gets his big fat name on the title.

[Bilko]

Osama Bin Laden.  Where was he on September 11, eh?  I'll tell yer - wanking in a cave to a picture of Dirty Den, that's where.  Glory hunting beardy.

and he's done nowt since then, a one trick pony.

[Partridge's Love Child]

Aye, he did one produced one big project that provoked outrage in 2001 and then has done nothing but half-hearted recordings and a few film bits.  Rings a bell that...

Ratscocksandbowlerhats.  He's not as funny as Mundays.

[Purple Tentacle]

Michael Howard is someone who has never done anything successfully in his life. And yet the Tory press clamour to mouth his glans.

(Say what you like about Thatcher, she did actually DO things. Just evil things.)


Might as well throw The Queen in before somebody else does too....

[morgs]

St Bob Geldof...

Ok, so he did Live Aid which was impressive (20 years or so ago) and had a few crap hits.

But he still seems to fascinate people.  Why?  Giving his kids crap names??

[DistantAngel]

I'd nominate one or two ex-Presidents, but to be perfectly frank they only have the respect and admiration of the American public because Americans have really short memories when it comes to the dodgy behaviour of their leaders (especially if death has occurred).

As such, I'll go for the obvious one ... Diana ... okay, so the whole landmines and AIDS stuff was obviously her doing her bit of good for the world but, and let's be honest here, if you had a huge income without having to work for it, an empty diary, a shred or two of decency, and a public image to maintain, you'd get off your ass and devote some of your spare time to helping out here and there, wouldn't you?  If anything, you'd do it to get out of the house for a few hours.

Add to that the fact Charles probably only married her because Camilla would not have been the British public's idea of a fairytale princess, and the fact that she was knobbing a few more people than she should have been, and I can't for the life of me understand why she is deified in the way she is ... she was certainly no angel ...

[neuteredcats]

Vorderman.

[Mediocre Rich]

My votes would go to (among others)

1. Peter Reid.
Famous for huffing and Puffing behind Maradona and getting teams relegated.

2. Ben Affleck.
Famous for acting badly in films and shagging a fat arsed idiot.

3. James Dyson.
One good Hoover and a stupid washing machine does not a renaisance man make.

[Marcus Or Relius]

David Blaine. He does a few mildly interesting tricks to over-excited New Yorkers, stands on a pole, sits in a box, thinks he's cool because he doesn't say anything when interviewed on GMTV when that's not cool, it's just fucking rude...and suddenly he's the world's greatest magician who makes people honestly think that the magic is 'real'.

[Regular John]

My votes would go to (among others)

1. Peter Reid.
Famous for huffing and Puffing behind Maradona and getting teams relegated..

Also that fucking shit fuck docu-fucking-mentary that he cocking did at fucking Sunderland.

[untitled_london]

zoe ball
johnny ball rocked -  zoe however, doesn't.

her mate sara w/ever her name is.

beckham, he's good, but, he's not the legend we all make him out to be. not by comparison to the rest of the best at anyrate.

dirty den
he's just a wanker

motty
we deified the muppet, and, all he ever did was show how he was utterly devoid of any understanding for the sport.

[Downs_Syndrome]

Chris Morris. Ok, so he told a couple of pedo jokes that were quite funny, but what has he done for the last few years eh? Nothing, thats what.

[Downs_Syndrome]

And Roger Moore too.

he's been shit for fucking years but because he made a few sub standard 'acting' appearences in Bond movies he hets a fucking Knighthood.

Oh how I wish for the days when knights were made to fight dragons.

[joFFeman]

St Bob Geldof...

Ok, so he did Live Aid which was impressive (20 years or so ago) and had a few crap hits.

pictures of starving children sell records.

anyhoo, zsa zsa gabor. what's she? comatose, dead? why should i care?

and ed gein's career was much too brief and of such a small scope to merit his continuing popularity as a supposedly notable serial killer. the fact he's been dead for a long time is irrelevant, why is he considered one of the big ones while having achieved such a low bodycount?

chuck palahniuk writes the same book over and over and it wasn't too good the first time. totally undeserving of any celebrity at all. his fans are a bunch of yuppie twats, too. fucking college kids and their faux-counterculture consumerism. idiots.

the royal family.

matt drudge.

elliot smith. after he offed himself suddenly he had a lot of fans, and the sad fact is he sucked throughout his career, and decided to kill himself so we could be saved. sadly, his popularity increased because people have a hardon for dead, shitty musicians.

ozzy osbourne's family. i don't see how people can watch that shit, i can't stand them. shit, how can he stand them? fuck them all, save for him. no, on second thought, fuck him too.

[Partridge's Love Child]

Chris Morris. Ok, so he told a couple of pedo jokes that were quite funny, but what has he done for the last few years eh? Nothing, thats what.

I did that one.  *Cuh*, subtlety's wasted on the youth of today.

Graham Norton.  Take one talented stand-up, add a dash of Channel 4, a pinch of glamour and stir in a Carry-on style opening script ad nauseum.  Serve on a bed of camp.  Dribble on a sauce of exhausted metaphor.

Norton was a good stand-up before he got plucked from obscurity, now his act is based purely on the cult of personality rather than any substance.  I watched that stand-up show he did about a year ago and it was unbearable - just him prancing about the stage doing exactly what he does on his chat show, rather than telling any actual jokes.

[mrpants]

And Roger Moore too.

he's been shit for fucking years but because he made a few sub standard 'acting' appearences in Bond movies he hets a fucking Knighthood.

Yeah but he has done a hell of a lot for Unicef (apart from those appeals on Aeroplanes).  Maybe he got it for that...?

[Lord Spong]

My votes would go to (among others)

1. Peter Reid.
Famous for huffing and Puffing behind Maradona and getting teams relegated..

Also that fucking shit fuck docu-fucking-mentary that he cocking did at fucking Sunderland.

Great.  Well, this foul mouthed, long ball, monkey faced cunt is due to be named as the new manager of my team today.  Replacing a man who statistically was the best manager Coventry had had for thirty years, and whos greatest crime was to win his last game 5-2.  Suffice to say, I'm not happy.

[Nearly Annually]

anyhoo, zsa zsa gabor. what's she? comatose, dead? why should i care?

You're righter than right, because she if anyone is credited as being the first professional celebrity. The first to be famous merely for being famous.

Mind you, when I was a nipper I saw a black and white film in which she played a summer-dressed lolita who turns up to live with her uncle in the middle of mid-west nowhere. He has to try not to fuck her despite massive provocation and she did the provocation so well that she produced my first ever wood, or memory thereof. So for me at least she is indeed an icon.

I must make it clear that I didn't have a wank, and if I did I wouldn't mention it.

[Evil Knevil]

Oh dear, another *cunt* celebrities thread.

[Johnny Yesno]

Lionel Blair. I know he used to be a dancer but had anyone heard of him before "Give Us A Clue"?

[Smackhead Kangaroo]

So was the definite proof connecting Camel Fucker Ossama to the wayward flights? Or has it passed me by?
I remember for a good few months people accusing this random fellow out of nowhere with no apparent proof, and I'd just presumed people have jsut accepted.

[Tokyo Sexwhale]

I genuinely have no idea why Tara Palmer-Tomkinson is famous.  She was well-known before "I'm a celebrity get me out of here", but as far as I'm aware she's not a singer/dancer/actress/model and I don't think she became famous for shagging someone.

So how did she become a celeb?