Products I'd really like to see

[Pinball]

300GB audio & video iPod with built-in screen and wifi capability

DVDR MP3 Walkmans - CDR exist so why not DVD???

Autopilot cars so you can sleep/read/work while commuting

Orgasmatron

[FrizzBit]

Transporter technology a la Star Trek.

Night in the pub? Pissed, cold, raining, no taxis? Beam me up Scotty! Bed. Ahhhhhh...

[Bogey]

That's what your autopilot car's for isn't it?
à la Minorty Report.

[FrizzBit]

But you still have to go out in the cold and rain to FIND the bloody car.
Besides, I want to be disassembled and zapped through the air and reassembled at the other side. It's way cooler than a remote controlled car.

[Bogey]

No no, the car comes to the pub and picks you up and drives to the nearest transportation station and zaps you home. Best of both worlds. And it's got cup holders for the pint you didn't finish. And wipe-clean surfaces.

[butnut]

But isn't it illegal to take pints out of a pub? Better check with their license first I suppose.

[Big Jack McBastard]

Implanted drug diffusers.

Take your drug of choice in whatever quantity and quality you wish at the turn of a dial and the touch of a button.

Ahhhhhhh! All better.

[Marcus Or Relius]

What's wrong with the old trick of going into Dominos pizza, asking for the cheapest pizza to be delivered to your house and asking "Could your delivery guy give me a lift as seen as he's going in that direction?"

I'd like someone to invent a cigarette that contains caffeine as well as nicotine, that way I can get my fix of legal drugs first thing in the morning much quicker. Oh, and make the filters bacon and toast flavour, that way I can pretend I had breakfast too.

[mr rou-rou]

I would like a Ghostbusters pack that when the stream hit you your clothes dissolved

I would like a suit made from a material resistant to the nudifying effects of the aforementioned gadget.

I would like white noise generating dog collars, what barking?

I would like a monkey butler

I would like a full set of new teeth grown from stem cell technology, £2000 x 32 = £64,000

I would like a huge robot to follow me around acting on my subconscious whims, with diplomatic immunity of course.

I would like an automated towel that had the following settings; Samba, Cha Cha and Rumba

I would like carnivorous joke mobile phones.

There's so much that I want and need

[Regular John]

Instantbeard

[Pinball]

A home bacon McMuffin machine. Press a button whenever you're hungry and out one pops.

[Krang]

Like an iPod, but also does video. Batteries last 20 hours with music, and 4 hours with video (or something similar)

Cant remember the size, maybe 200gb?

[Frinky]

A home bacon McMuffin machine. Press a button whenever you're hungry and out one pops.

Or, just shoot yourself in the face. Tastes nicer.

[mr rou-rou]

you've been in the porn business too long.

[hands cold, liver warm]

A giant rechargable battery in your house. The battery is automatically recharged when you are attached to the mains, enabling you to disconnect from the mains for a period of time and run your house for free.

using some special device, the battery will be recharged on the energy that is normally lost across circuits or wasted by appliances. So recharging the battery through the mains doesn't cost you any extra.

[TraceyQ]

Self styling hair-do.

Chocolate without guilt.

Depilatory cream that permanently removes leg/underarm hair and pant moustache.

Anti - beer goggles

Bullshit detector.

[Ranter]

A hover-car
Airwolf
An underground lair.
X-Ray specs
A lazer-Razer
big fans in a shower to dry you
an exo-skeleton, like the forklift thingy at the end of Aliens
R2D2
the Milleneum Falcon
A death star
an imperial cruiser
a lint-free cloth for cleaning things.
an invisibility cloak (with duck-down filling, and pockets for your binoculars and thermos)
a tank.

[MojoJojo]

Like an iPod, but also does video. Batteries last 20 hours with music, and 4 hours with video (or something similar)

Cant remember the size, maybe 200gb?

Or you could try the Archos one... Archos AV320 Video Recorder (20GB), gets a better review on cnet  http://asia.cnet.com/reviews/hardware/storage/0,39007104,39163335-1,00.htm

It ignores macrovision too...

[Tokyo Sexwhale]

300GB audio & video iPod with built-in screen and wifi capability

Can I add Digital TV and Radio with the ability to record everything to the 500GB Hard Drive?

And make it the size and weight of a small mobile phone, and supply it with cables that can connect it to PCs, TVs and stereos.

And it's guaranteed for life.

With a cherry on top.

[Shade]

Hamburger ear muffs.

[Marcus Or Relius]

I hate having to go to the laundrette every week, so I'd love to have some sort of machine that would fit in the kitchen, in which you can put your clothes, press a few buttons and, hey presto, about thirty-minutes later you take them out and they're all magically clean!

[hands cold, liver warm]

I hate having to go to the laundrette every week, so I'd love to have some sort of machine that would fit in the kitchen, in which you can put your clothes, press a few buttons and, hey presto, about thirty-minutes later you take them out and they're all magically clean!

we already have one of those, its called a microwave

[falafel]

A clone of myself.

A hologram projector.

The elixir of life.

Orange squash that actually tastes like oranges, rather than sugared piss.


DVDR MP3 Walkmans do exist, I'm sure; don't those portable DVD players have DVDR/RW read capabilities?

Ditto the Orgasmatron, although I think that, rather than making you come everywhere, it just gives you a funny head massage.

[Joy Nktonga]

An underground lair.

You had your chance:
See here, and look here->

[butnut]

I hate having to go to the laundrette every week, so I'd love to have some sort of machine that would fit in the kitchen, in which you can put your clothes, press a few buttons and, hey presto, about thirty-minutes later you take them out and they're all magically clean!

Place your anger here

[morgs]

Implanted drug diffusers.

Take your drug of choice in whatever quantity and quality you wish at the turn of a dial and the touch of a button.

Ahhhhhhh! All better.

I like the idea of being able to turn on the alcohol to pissed levels (similar to how I am now) but be able to reset them for the morning to avoid hangover moments.

Quite fancy the idea of invisibilty.

And someone in the pub was twittering on about a mindswap device.  But then that'll probably just open up another wank thread, so forget it!

Aeroplanes that fly me to my destination without my ears dissolving in agony as we come in to land.  Bastards.

As a kid I always wanted a Dalek ( a nice one though)

[Kawaii Five-O]

I would like a monkey butler

Heh, me too, sort of, I want a small dog butler called Bernard who stands on his hind legs, wears a bow-tie and carries a silver tray with a doilie on it.

The other day I had an idea for a solid nitrogen pint glass that keeps your beer cold in summer but I couldn't invent it because photoshop was being an arse.

Like TraceyQ I would like a permanent depilatory cream that smells of banana milkshake or something, or for my legs to simply evolve in a hair-free direction.

Affordable vegan white chocolate, that'd be nice.

I wish someone would invent self-writing essays, then things would be grand.