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July 17, 2024, 11:08:24 AM

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Suzy Izzard [split topic]

Started by Found Wound Round, June 29, 2024, 03:51:23 PM

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Found Wound Round

Had to dig this thread out because I can never find the Little Things that Make You blablabla... I was a massive fanboy of the Izzard for a period in the 90s, like the rest of us I hope. Seen them live in Dublin at the height of it and all. I deffo have more "favourite" lines and bits that were much bigger and better than this one, but Jesus for some reason nothing gives me the fits out of the blue more than...

Quote from: 90s Izzard"Hmmm. Death. I'm kind of interested in Death, in a kind of morbid way..."

Just slays me, dictionarially. Happened just there at the urinals and I was this close to having to explain to my (satisfactorily endowed) neighbour that my mirth was not girth-mirth.

dead-ced-dead

I quote her, "Do you have a flag? No flag no country, that's the rules I just made up!"

And, "No we don't any of your food, JUST PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!"

Far too often! So funny!

Catalogue Trousers

'Mr Dog! The can of food for the small dog! And if you give it to the small dog, maybe he'll SHUT THE FUCK UP.'

Mister Six

Izzard is performing Hamlet in NYC at the minute, but interestingly the hoardings have her down as Eddie. I guess a more recognisable marketing movie? And she's said she's not bothered about it, right?

Not going to see it, mind - reviews suggest it's not playing to her strengths, and also I've seen too many iterations of Hamlet already.


Rankersbo

Quote from: Mister Six on July 01, 2024, 04:37:57 AMIzzard is performing Hamlet in NYC at the minute, but interestingly the hoardings have her down as Eddie. I guess a more recognisable marketing movie? And she's said she's not bothered about it, right?

Not going to see it, mind - reviews suggest it's not playing to her strengths, and also I've seen too many iterations of Hamlet already.

I thought she's continuing with Eddie professionally.

Two Headed Sex Beast

"Shaftesbury theatre, Shaftesbury theatre,  no one knows where the fuck it is.." song from the audio version of Definite Article randomly popped into my head the other day.

I think my first experience of her was as a young teen, back in the days when you could plug your headphones into the arm on the airplane and listen to radio... There was a comedy channel and bits from Glorious were playing on it. The old lady (cake on the head)/"I'm the Queen.. I'll live forever... 🎶" bit, I seem to remember. Watched all the shows on video, absolutely adored them, and still do.

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Covered in bees"

checkoutgirl

I never die
I live to a million

SteveDave


SpiderChrist

"I'll get promoted in the underground system - I'll get my own darkness"

checkoutgirl

I like my women like I like my coffee, hot and strong.... with a spoon in them.

checkoutgirl

*making Stone Henge*

"I wish the Christians would get here".

"Depends what you're wearing, of course."

"Short ears? Inside the boat. Inside the fucking boat."


checkoutgirl

It's a kid...on pyjamas.

*motorboat noise*

No pyjamas. In the land of the dead.

checkoutgirl

Hello, we're murderers. Uh...Twix please.

dead-ced-dead

Quote from: Wacky Homemade Badges on July 01, 2024, 09:30:54 AMNo pyjamas. In the land of the dead.

I WAS TOLD PYJAMAS!

Noooo..yess...nooo...terribly sorry, I've got your scythe

Spiteface

Quote from: checkoutgirl on July 01, 2024, 08:37:46 AM*making Stone Henge*

"I wish the Christians would get here".

(Welsh accent) "Building a Henge, are we? That's a fantastic idea! Marvelous religion the Druids have got, yes, a lot of white clothing, I like that!"

purlieu


dead-ced-dead

Now, the sermon today is from a magazine that I found in a hedge. Now, lipstick colours this season are in the frosted pink area and nail colours to match. And, er...this reminds me rather of our Lord Jesus. Because surely, when Jesus went into Nazareth on a donkey he must have got tarted up a bit.

Twilkes

You don't lick it, savour the moment, like a gerbil on a golden wheel!

checkoutgirl

Let's go camping in the forest of death and blood.

Found Wound Round

The panicking shopkeeper confronted with an executive transvestite wanting a snack: "What, you eat crisps?! Do you not want to shag the crisps?"

Or teasing the American audience in the San Fran show: "Some of these buildings were built over fifty yeeearrs agoooo!" .. "What? No! Surely no one was aliiive then!"

checkoutgirl

You're gay and you sell books? You probably shag the books so we'll fire you for no reason at all.


Magnum Valentino

Quote from: Found Wound Round on July 01, 2024, 07:13:57 PMThe panicking shopkeeper confronted with an executive transvestite wanting a snack: "What, you eat crisps?! Do you not want to shag the crisps?"

Or teasing the American audience in the San Fran show: "Some of these buildings were built over fifty yeeearrs agoooo!" .. "What? No! Surely no one was aliiive then!"

What's the first one from, that's really funny


checkoutgirl

And people interpret them, bonkers dreams. A man comes up to me covered in jam and he sings,"Oh, I am a man-hippo". And he brings me spoons and his buttocks explode and his brother drives a small snail towards me very slowly. What does it mean?

The interpretation's always ordinary. You didn't get on with your father when you were a child. Why doesn't it say that in my dream? What's all the bloody snail thing and...? You never have a straight dream. You never just walk along the road, go into a shop and buy a Mars bar.

Cos that would probably mean you're from Mars and your ears are made of jam and your brother in Kent's buttocks explode to the size of a balloon!


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