Support CaB

Subscribers don't see this.

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

July 01, 2022, 11:08:21 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Have you ever SHIT BRICKS when you saw something?

Started by shoulders, May 26, 2022, 09:49:22 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

shoulders

This keeps being promised but has never happened to me.

To turn this into a credible GB worthy thread, what's the most dumbfounding jaw dropping sight you ever did see?

I've seen a couple bare arse fucking in the broadness of daylight in a park using a large metal council bin for stability.

I've turned a corner in the park to see an elderly Hungarian (possibly, it was Budapest) doing naked Tai Chi (that's being generous).

I've watched in horror in the same country at a group of people unironically sieg heiling. To be honest that's the most I've come to the SHIT BRICKS scenario for a while.


Twit 2

Boat engine on fire, next to gas canister and can of petrol. I was on the boat.

Opening bathroom window in early hours to note my shed consumed by enormous blaze (plus car...plus neighbours' garage).

idunnosomename

no, an oblong of fired clay has never come out of my anus

Sebastian Cobb

When we were about 12 my parents were round a mates parents for a get together and me and a mate were messing around with hot wax, I think it started out as candle making but we managed to get a load of molten wax basically going of its own accord wicklessly in a foil takeaway dish, mates mum told us we'd had our fun and to pack the burning stuff in so my mate says he'll put it out. Which he did, by firing the hose at it creating a fucking massive mushroom cloud of fire while I jumped back against the wall.

I was also once removing a spot-light fitting that was attached to the lounge wall, it was knackered and the insulation had broken down and caused it to go short (it didn't have a bulb in it but I was eating my tea one night and it went bang), when I took the fitting off the wall a fuck-off massive spider unfurled itself as it had been living behind it. I'm not bothered about spiders but that fucker caught me by surprise.

PlanktonSideburns

Walking down a hill in some cute town in French Switzerland, and someone came out the door of a cafe with a camel. Might be a perfectly ordinary thing there I dunno

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: PlanktonSideburns on May 26, 2022, 10:16:49 PMWalking down a hill in some cute town in French Switzerland, and someone came out the door of a cafe with a camel. Might be a perfectly ordinary thing there I dunno

Imagining this a bit like when Coop comes face-to-face with the Llama in Twin Peaks.


dissolute ocelot

I thought fear would produce shit that's more like liquid cement. And then I did some research...

Some websites suggest that when you're scared you get constipated, and after you're constipated you shit a very hard thing that might be confused with a brick.

Is this true? Which fears make you constipated, and which make you emit explosive diarrhoea? And can I get a research grant for this?

PlanktonSideburns

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 26, 2022, 10:28:14 PMImagining this a bit like when Coop comes face-to-face with the Llama in Twin Peaks.



Wasn't miles from that, me and a mate were walking back from the pub, man and camel were stepping out of a cafe and waving good night to everyone in the cafe, we nodded politely as they went past us

Replies From View

When you are confronted by a llama, you will at first naturally find yourself focusing on its ears, before you find its eyes.

Johnny Yesno



flotemysost

Quote from: idunnosomename on May 26, 2022, 09:58:09 PMno, an oblong of fired clay has never come out of my anus

Though many have gone in.

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on May 26, 2022, 10:29:54 PMI thought fear would produce shit that's more like liquid cement. And then I did some research...

Some websites suggest that when you're scared you get constipated, and after you're constipated you shit a very hard thing that might be confused with a brick.

Is this true? Which fears make you constipated, and which make you emit explosive diarrhoea? And can I get a research grant for this?


The constipation thing makes sense, I always thought the implication was that you're so petrified your sphincter has clenched like a vice - in which case I'd have thought your poo would have to come out really thin like silly string, or it just wouldn't come out at all.

WHEN YOU SEE IT, YOU WON'T SHIT

Fat little kid in a vest and with one of those like handkerchiefs with four knots on his head like a hat you see in cartoons, riding a tricycle down a very busy and expanisve main road in Crewe. He was about 8 and VERY chubbs.. I swear!

Sebastian Cobb

Maybe it's an evolutionary thing to stop you needing to leave evidence for predators. Some critters eat their jobbies if they're scared don't they?

Psybro

At a drive-thru safari park, while I was looking the other way a zebra stuck it's entire head through the open window and snatched the bag of animal feed right off my lap, which is also where I keep my cock.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Psybro on May 27, 2022, 12:18:45 AMAt a drive-thru safari park, while I was looking the other way a zebra stuck it's entire head through the open window and snatched the bag of animal feed right off my lap, which is also where I keep my cock.

Wait, are you just copping to doing the 'popcorn trick' in a safari park?

On the beach as a kid I tried to climb up a small cliff and half way up I got stuck and had to slide down onto a narrow ledge. I took a moment to catch my breath and I felt a tickling sensation on my foot. I looked down and I'd put it right through a dead seagull that was swarming with the biggest, fattest maggots I've ever seen. It took them an instant to get up between my toes and over my foot. I screamed so loud a nearby family came running because they thought I'd broken my leg.

Goldentony

I honestly for years thought the phrase was SHAT A BOLLOCK but i'd been mistaking SHIT A BRICK and DROPPED A BOLLOCK and somehow combined themso whenever I went ah he and or she or they SHAT A BOLLOCK or I SHAT A BOLLOCK or whatever i'd look like a fucking total complete and utter shithead no mates

Pink Gregory

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 27, 2022, 12:13:31 AMMaybe it's an evolutionary thing to stop you needing to leave evidence for predators. Some critters eat their jobbies if they're scared don't they?

Seen it suggested that, as a defence against mugging or assault, a good idea is just to shit yourself.  I guess make sure the dirt bakery is stocked when you make the decision to turn down a dark alley.

Bence Fekete

Quote from: Pink Gregory on May 27, 2022, 01:33:47 AMSeen it suggested that, as a defence against mugging or assault, a good idea is just to shit yourself.

Reminds me of this insightful Reddit exchange:




The Bumlord

Quote from: Psybro on May 27, 2022, 12:18:45 AMAt a drive-thru safari park, while I was looking the other way a zebra stuck it's entire head through the open window and snatched the bag of animal feed right off my lap, which is also where I keep my cock.

You keep your cock in a bag of animal feed? That's just asking for trouble.

Psybro

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 27, 2022, 12:20:07 AMWait, are you just copping to doing the 'popcorn trick' in a safari park?

Yeah but at least I was looking the other way, don't want it to be awkward do I.

bgmnts

More the sound but hearing and watching the container fall off the back of a parked lorry was the most instantly terrified i've been in my life. Shit out an entire bungalow's wirth of bricks.

willbo

Throughout my teens I lived opposite a 30-ish couple who (I can figure now) were obviously swingers, and/or amateur porn actors, and/or some sort of escorts. They always left the curtains 2/3 feet open or with gaps on the side during their antics. Some of what I/my cousin saw -

- both of them always walking round nude/in skimpy underwear
- the woman posing in front of their big mirror in various lingerie/sexy outfits
- the man leaving, another woman pulling up to the house, her and the wife having a sex session and posing, then her driving away again an hour later
- the man leaving at night, a biker Lemmy type guy turning up, him and the wife having sex, then him leaving
- a big party with lots of cars turning up and heaving bodies

Replies From View

Quote from: Lord Mandrake on May 27, 2022, 12:07:16 AMSaw a house made out of oblongs.

The word oblong makes me shit bricks. 

Until recently it had never been uttered outside of 1982 episodes of Playgroup.

I don't know what's changed - maybe you could shed a light.

kittens


kittens


kittens


The Ombudsman

As a teenager, I was walking through a local park by some woods with a friend. This kid runs out of the woods pointing a gun at us shouting something. We were somewhat paralysed with fear. The kid could see this and ended up explaining it was an air gun and it was only a joke and did we want to fire it with him in the woods. It looked very real indeed. I remember needing a shit when I got back home.

Edit to add - I was walking home from school via a different park when I was stopped by the filth. They wanted to know if I'd walked this same route yesterday. I had, then they asked if I'd seen anyone. I had, described the person and then they said either directly before or after I'd encountered this man, a person fitting the description I gave tried to sexually assault someone. I vomited on the spot.

pigamus

Quote from: Replies From View on May 27, 2022, 07:41:02 AMThe word oblong makes me shit bricks. 

Until recently it had never been uttered outside of 1982 episodes of Playgroup.

I don't know what's changed - maybe you could shed a light.

Well Playschool's changed for a start