Lame To Fame

[Neville Chamberlain]

My dad taught two members of Bananananaramamama.

[Clatty McCutcheon]

My mum was at school with Sheena (9 to 5) Easton, then known as Sheena Orr.

[wosl]

Boris Becker and I once stood next to each other at adjacent urinals in the gents of the Lenbachhaus.

[Famous Mortimer]

These sort of cyclical threads put me in a bit of a Boston Crab mood where I feel like I'm just repeating a segment off my life on a loop.

Bloody hell, that last one was 53 pages long.

I'll do another serial killer one - my crazy ex once interviewed both Ian Brady and Harold Shipman. Social worker training, or something. She was a bit of a liar though. She apparently went out with some 80s pop star as well, and had an unsuccessful date with Vic Reeves around the time of the first series of "Big Night Out". Presumably, she didn't phone up their sisters and scream abuse at them.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

I preferred the "shared a life" anecdote - I took it to mean that you and Jim Diamond were two souls inhabiting the same body, but never communicating.  I thought it was an example of that surreal humour which was the subject of a highly edifying thread recently.

Jim Diamond and I were both once Doctor Who. But not always at once. He was the one before me. Our meeting in the lift took place during an anniversary special.

[Neomod]

I stood next to (Richard Herring favourite) Janet Ellis at an theaudience gig at the 100 club and then listened in whilst she gave her daughter a critic after the gig. More like Lame to Lame eh!!!

Oh and I was an extra in Wilde and was in the clip they always showed whenever Mr Fry or My Law was interviewed including GAY TV with Right Said Fred's Fred[nb]or Richard[/nb]. In your face homophobes[nb]Graffic[/nb]!

[Gulftastic]

The street of the now demolished terraced house in which I was born is the same as that of the bomb factory of the 7/7 bombers. My mother still lives a couple of streets over and was evacuated from her flat for a time when the Police found it.

[Zetetic]

Fred Dinenage accused me of speaking Russian.

[Gradual Decline]

My Dad visited Mike Harding's house in the 1970's.

[Neville Chamberlain]

I come from Yeovil, home of former Scunthorpe centre-half Ian Botham.

[Serge]

Andrew Weatherall is in my contacts list on hotmail, and I sat in a pub discussing John Le Carre adaptations with Pete Fowler a couple of weeks ago.

In 'how far are you from a murder site' news, I'm typing this about a hundred yards from where Jack The Ripper killed Annie Chapman.

[Dark Sky]

I once bought Hardeep Singh Kohli a sandwich.

[derek stitt]

I used to 'odd jobs' for Rose West's mum
Don't know why I meant the above sound sinister. I only used to walk her dog.

Don Maclean (from Crackerjack) once called me and my friend a pair of urchins. I called him a cunt in return.

One of my old school mates was in The Sun for marrying a 36 year old when he was 16. He went on the, Phil Donahue Show and everythink. We fell out after I couldn't stop laughing at his performance on it.

I was once up for the role of Sid Sabbath but it went to Derren Nesbitt.

[HAYRDRYAH]

I've seen Will Carling stark bollock naked.
So it's quite possible I've seen a cock which has been in Princess Di's fanny

Oh to shake hands with that cock

[Dark Sky]

I once stood next to (and ignored) YouTube's Charlie Is So Cool Like.

[sick as a pike]

My girlfriend once mouthed Texting! to Hardeep Singh Kohli who was using his phone while he drove.  He looked vaguely guilty and stopped doing it.
I have since seen him twice in my local Sainsbury.  I've not mentioned the earlier incident.

[thenoise]

I once drank in the same pub as one of the blokes off DIY SOS (I didn't recognise him but my girlfriend of the time did).

[sirarthur]

Jennifer Saunders' brother once served me fish and chips in a pub in Devon. Nice fellow.

[danyulx]

Circa 2007: Refusing to sell my first written screenplay (a rom-com concerning an austistic young man and a middle-age prositute) to some wanker in the UK film Council for 8K via some piss-poor "young writers / new talent" scheme I'd got roped into: because I was a paranoid wreck at the time and trusted absolutely no one, amongst other things. Then afterwards - after failing to make the film myself, on my terms - me destroying all physical and digital traces of the bloody thing, for some reason I'm not quite sure of.

The two I have written since are completely unreadable, at the least by anyone other than me, and if they were ever to be filmed they would be completely unwatchable.

Therefore paragraph 1 was at the very least my one and only close call lame to fame. And I'm glad it all went tits up.

Also: Anne Robinson is my uncle's cousin.

[Buelligan]

My mum's friend went out with George Best.

[QDRPHNC]

My mum's friend went out with George Best.

Is your mum's friend English and lives in Canada, by any chance?

[kitsofan34]

The popular Welsh drama "Rownd a Rownd"[nb]Translation: Round and Round[/nb] had a popular character called Mr Lloyd, an old pensioner who used to walk about with his dog. That dog was in reality my uncle's.

Pretty impressive, I know.

[KLG-7A]

My mum's friend (now long dead) painted the kitten/flowerpot picture on Father Ted's wall.

[QDRPHNC]

According to my grandmother, my great great uncle is Thomas Andrews, designer of the Titanic.

[Nuclear Optimism]

My granny knows (or maybe knew) Mark Kermode's mum. Or is it my aunt? It's one of them anyway. Get me.

[dr beat]

I stood next to (Richard Herring favourite) Janet Ellis at an theaudience gig at the 100 club and then listened in whilst she gave her daughter a critic after the gig.

When Sophie Ellis-Bextor was in theaudience she got on the Tube carriage I was in and I looked at her for a bit.

[biggytitbo]

According to my grandmother, my great great uncle is Thomas Andrews, designer of the Titanic.

Sorry to break it to you...

[biggytitbo]

I once had a poo in the same cubicle that was shortly before vacated by former England defender Danny Mills.

There was a pube on the toilet seat, but I can't guarantee it was his.

[the midnight watch baboon]

I once saw Danny Mills leaving a busy Knaresborough pub with his family during a break from the excitement of the town's famous bed race. "SUPER, SUPER DAN!", chanted a member of my group, before repeating this a couple of times, then adding "SUPER DANNY MILL-ILLS!". Danny Mills.

[babyshambler]

"Danny Mills is fucking brilliant" (repeat) was a favourite down Elland Road.

To continue the Mills' theme, my friend used to live right close to him just outside Knaresborough. Cheers.