If I was Nicholas Witchell I'd kill myself

[Gulftastic]

Guff? Paul had just been shot by Terry, I think her name was. It was a crucial time, his life hung in the balance. Sadly he survived and went on to ask if it made us feel good.

Of course he survived. Paul has so far been shot  (at least twice), thrown off a cliff, been in a plane crash, poisoned, strangled (by Harold Bishop, no less), endured a mine collapse, blown up and I'm sure he must have been in a car crash at some point.

All that's happened is he's lost part of his leg. The man is immortal.

[rudi]

Without ever changing his hairstyle; that's quite a feat when you think about it[nb]don't think about it[/nb].

[KLG-7A]

Drew couldn't even survive falling off a horse. And also looked liked a horse.

[biggytitbo]

Henry's clothes have fallen off again.

[sirhenry]

Henry's clothes have fallen off again.

Occupational hazard.

[Necrophagism]

What about when Lilliana kicked off Paul's false leg when he tried to play footsie with her at parents' evening?!

[HappyTree]

I wonder if any of the royal family have ever had to put up with noisy neighbours. I feel it is one of those rites of passage that is a test of the limits of one's rage and self-control. Maybe William got a bit peeved when in student accommodation, though I suspect his crib was slightly more upmarket than halls of residence filled with the usual student human rights abuses and torture pranks.

[biggytitbo]

It's unlikely that they have noisy neighbours considering most of there residences have the plebs walled off miles away.


If they ever do though, Phil just has MI5 'deal with them'.[nb]That's his favoured way of referring to it.[/nb]

[Neville Chamberlain]

I think they should put Phil on 'bath salts'.

[Jemble Fred]

Turns out we got the wrong one anyway.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/mike-hastings-rightful-king-of-england-1134366

THE KING IS DEAD LONG LIVE THE KING AND NEVER MIND 'THE QUEEN'.

[Jimmy Popeye Doyle]

I think they should put Phil on 'bath salts'.

What is this, a fuckin' hospital here?

[Absorb the anus burn]

What is this, a fuckin' hospital here?

No, a branch of Lush cosmetics.