Film cliches you want to fuck off

[neveragain]

Oh yeah, the bereaved relative just keeps repeating that every line.

Edit: See prior page... well go on!

[Hand Solo]

Genius case-cracker is stuck at cracking said case and sits pondering the significance of something that they can't make sense of, another character keeps interrupting their `process' with something entirely specious and irrelevant possibly annoying said genius character, until said irrelevant subject matter suddenly from a side-angle somehow sparks a revelation to the problem to which the genius characeter was obsessing over, usually jumping up excited without even explaining and dashing off saying "That's it!" or "Hurry, we've no time!" Used copiously in dreck like Sherlock.

[lipsink]

People talking on the phone (mobile or regular) with it held up to their ear like a normal person, suddenly holding it horizontally in front of their mouth like a loony when they want to particularly emphasise something they're saying, as if it makes the slightest difference to how it sounds at the other end. Saw a film the other day where one of the characters ended literally every phone call like this, and I've since been noticing it quite a lot in other things.

I've also noticed people say something they feel is innocuous to another character just before they take a drink from a glass. Just as they drink it cuts to the character they're talking looking up suddenly.

[Brundle-Fly]

Some of my favourite movie moments are when an outsider character arrives at a night club/ party/ rave-up/ den of iniquity and walks around feeling all alienated as the groovy people enjoy themselves (eg Midnight Cowboy, Coogan's Bluff, Wake In Fright, etc). I watched one of these scenes in a contemporary film the other night and it felt a bit hackneyed. 

[Marner and Me]

In horror films, normal family of four, apart from the young lad who has a slightly odd name like Noah, and he'll be the one that can talk to the ghosts/aliens or whatever the adversary paranormal force in the film is.

[Jim Bob]

In horror films, normal family of four, apart from the young lad who has a slightly odd name like Noah, and he'll be the one that can talk to the ghosts/aliens or whatever the adversary paranormal force in the film is.

"CAROOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL ANNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

[thecuriousorange]

In horror films, normal family of four, apart from the young lad who has a slightly odd name like Noah, and he'll be the one that can talk to the ghosts/aliens or whatever the adversary paranormal force in the film is.

Bonus points if the baddies want to claim him as one of their own due to his incredible paranormal talent.

[Jim Bob]

Bonus points if the baddies want to claim him as one of their own due to his incredible paranormal talent.

"CAROOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL ANNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" (again)

[Peru]

Dog barks three times offscreen at an intruder, followed by a whimper to indicate it's been killed. I have seen this in at least a hundred films.

[magval]

Character observes that another character's suggestion is stupid because they aren't in the type of medium that they in fact are in, ie: "this isn't some Saturday morning cartoon show" in a Saturday morning cartoon show.

[dissolute ocelot]

Character observes that another character's suggestion is stupid because they aren't in the type of medium that they in fact are in, ie: "this isn't some Saturday morning cartoon show" in a Saturday morning cartoon show.

It's even worse if they say a slightly different genre, like "This isn't some romantic comedy" in a slightly edgy but ultimately warmhearted indie dramedy.

[Brundle-Fly]

I'm getting really bored of scenes where a flustered suspect is making there way through a clamouring press mob outside a courthouse or their home. The reporters always shout out stuff like, "Did you do it?" "Are you ashamed of yourself?"  "How do you feel about these allegations?" etc but nobody waits for him/her to answer the question. There are always camera flashes too, even if it's taking place in broad daylight. I do wonder if ITV drama dept employs the same group of supporting artists from an extras agency that specialise in noisy media scumbags.

[Puce Moment]

This still seems to be something writers and directors keep putting into their films and TV dramas and I FUCKING HATE IT.

Person A is pointing a gun at Person B. Just as they are about to fire the gun Person C (who we maybe thought was dead) shoots Person A dead.

Extra points if it looks like Person B was shot, but then Person A slowly falls to the ground, revealing Person C holding a smoking gun.

[kalowski]

Dog barks three times offscreen at an intruder, followed by a whimper to indicate it's been killed. I have seen this in at least a hundred films.

Good one.
But it is done really well in The Searchers, as Chief Scar comes out, here's the dog barking and throws something at it. It's a brilliant shot.

[Peru]

Yeah good point-though at that point I'm guessing it was quite innovative!

[Marner and Me]

This still seems to be something writers and directors keep putting into their films and TV dramas and I FUCKING HATE IT.

Person A is pointing a gun at Person B. Just as they are about to fire the gun Person C (who we maybe thought was dead) shoots Person A dead.

Extra points if it looks like Person B was shot, but then Person A slowly falls to the ground, revealing Person C holding a smoking gun.

Reservoir Dogs 

[magval]

I don't want to drag the thread down into just nitpicking at common things that aren't cliches, but it's probably the right forum for these observations (if they're not already in here).

A bicycle that's seen must also be heard. Ring ring. We are too stupid not to realise that's a BIKE.

A cat that's seen must meow. We are too stupid not to realise that's a CAT.

A car that's moving at any speed must have screeching tyres. We are too stupid not to realise that's a CAR.

And footage from a security or video camera must display the onscreen info (rec., battery level) etc. that the person operating it would see. We are too stupid not to realise this is ANOTHER SOURCE.

The first three just seem to be filmmaking conventions that directors (or studio reps standing over the shoulders of sound guys) insist make the image 'complete' somehow, but the last one is just wrong.

[Hand Solo]

I don't want to drag the thread down into just nitpicking at common things that aren't cliches, but it's probably the right forum for these observations (if they're not already in here).

A bicycle that's seen must also be heard. Ring ring. We are too stupid not to realise that's a BIKE.

A cat that's seen must meow. We are too stupid not to realise that's a CAT.

A car that's moving at any speed must have screeching tyres. We are too stupid not to realise that's a CAR.

A dog that's seen with the hybrid face of a banjo busker from earlier in the film. Banjo sting music must accompany. We are too stupid not to realise that's a dog with a hybrid face of a banjo busker.

[mr. logic]

Reservoir Dogs

That one is definitely earned, though.

[Clownbaby]

Missing/dead/in danger child who is obviously just a device to make the protagonist seem more human. The child doesn't actually have a personality but you will definitely see a wholesome flashback of protagonist dad pushing him/her on a swing or reading him/her a story. If it's a boy, 90% chance of a bowlcut

If it's a horror film, 80% chance it's a girl, and she was a bit sinister even before the thing happened to her so the heartstring tugging doesn't actually work cause the kid's a bit creepy anyway. The first Silent Hill movie is a well obvious example.

[Hand Solo]

Missing/dead/in danger child who is obviously just a device to make the protagonist seem more human. The child doesn't actually have a personality but you will definitely see a wholesome flashback of protagonist dad pushing him/her on a swing or reading him/her a story. If it's a boy, 90% chance of a bowlcut

Cough FACE/OFF Cough

[Clownbaby]

Cough FACE/OFF Cough

Exactly what I was thinking as I wrote this!

[Hooverbag Sherlocks]

Attractive, damaged woman in her thirties, expert in her chosen field (biology, languages, ancient history), gets pressganged by The Man who turns up at her house in the small hours without warning. "You need to come with me, ma'am. Now."

If a character is possessed by something alien or malevolent, their eyes will turn matt black until they shake it off, don't need it any more, or die. 

[thecuriousorange]

Going over a massive waterfall in a tiny wooden boat and dropping hundreds of feet into the water below never results in death, or even any serious injury.

[sirhenry]

The fucking F-word!

Every mainstream film these days has a speech (or two or more!) about how they're all a family and families stick together and pull together and survive together. Even if there is no relation between the character other than them being in the same place, facing the same threat.

It's as if we no longer feel any sympathy or connection with anybody outside our immediate genetic nearest and dearest. We wouldn't lift a finger to help friends, neighbours, kids, little old ladies or just a random stranger who fell among robbers, who both stripped him and beat him, and departed, leaving him half dead. Nope, none of them have any meaning for us if they don't share DNA - even if they don't.

Admittedly a return to outright nationalism isn't the answer, but just some sense that we share something with others and that altruism not only exists but is a Good Thing, would be less petty, insular and egocentric.

Fuck family, let's get back to all being humans.

[Blumf]

The fucking F-word!

Every mainstream film these days has a speech (or two or more!) about how they're all a family and families stick together and pull together and survive together. Even if there is no relation between the character other than them being in the same place, facing the same threat.

Have you just been on a Fast & Furious marathon? :)

[Jim Bob]

Going over a massive waterfall in a tiny wooden boat and dropping hundreds of feet into the water below never results in death, or even any serious injury.

Rather annoyingly, this happens THREE TIMES IN A ROW in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.  Even more annoyingly, it's not even close to being the worst scene in that movie (for my money, Shia Le Buffy swinging on vines with monkeys is the absolute worst scene).

[Brundle-Fly]

Any old VHS tape played in a contemporary setting must have tracking issues. I have video cassettes that are forty years old but still have a DVD quality clear picture. 

Also camera footage glitches that make that Zzzzttt sound. Every old LP put on a turntable must also be scratched to fuck and jump to repeat the appropriate line in the song.

[Fr.Bigley]

Horror movies where the Black guy or other minority gets it first.

[Brundle-Fly]

Horror movies where the Black guy or other minority gets it first.

"I've seen this movie, the black dude dies first."— Harry from Evolution (2001)