Running

[Twonty Gostelow]

I got to a point where angry drivers, breathlessness, sudden chest pains and wondering if I'd ever finish all got too much for me ... so I stopped wanking on the bus and took up running!!!!!!!

I've still got decent stamina when I'm playing foopbo but I just can't hack pavement running. For years I walked to and from various jobs - one was a 65-minute walk away - and it didn't bother me at all as I like being in my own head. Trying to run the same routes just wasn't the same - too jarring on the legs and I could never properly zone out because of the hazards. Oh well.

[Butchers Blind]

Get you some bad knees later in life.

[Janie Jones]

No it doesn't. There's some evidence that regular running protects against joint degradation. I've run 4-5K nearly every day for decades, I'm old and my knees are in fine fettle.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Fair play to anyone who can just go out and do exercise by itself. I find the only way I have any hope of doing it is making it transport to and from other jobs so I can't sack it off.

[Magnum Valentino]

What do you listen to?

Napalm Death's Enemy of the Music Business is my best friend if I feel like I can't manage a run.

[Janie Jones]

What do you listen to?

Napalm Death's Enemy of the Music Business is my best friend if I feel like I can't manage a run.

Well since you ask, I use this mixtape as the perfect cadence to get 5K under 27 minutes at Parkrun:

Jay-Z - I just wanna love you
The War on Drugs - Baby Missiles
Skee-lo - I Wish
Pond - Sweep me off my feet
John Barry - Theme from the Persuaders
Sea Pinks - Peripheral Vision
Harry Styles - Daylight
Pa Salieu - Betty
Hers - What once was
MGMT - Electric Feel (TBH this is a bit fast for me if the terrain's tough or the wind's against me so I don't beat myself up if I fall out of step with it)

[Dex Sawash]

I haven't run anywhere since 1999

Prince mails it in

[Terence Bowl]

I've been running for nearly 20 years.

You must be fucking miles away by now.

[flotemysost]

What do you listen to?

Mix it up all the time, but I used to have a running playlist that featured Iron Head by Helmet, and the bit where Page Hamilton goes WWUUEEAAARRGGGHHHH a couple of minutes in always coincided very cathartically with a downhill slope on my route at the time that made it feel like all the breath was being knocked out of you.

I'm disgustingly unfit though, so I find "running for 2 or 3 [standard 3-minute-or-so] songs, walking for 1" is a good way to get some gentle exercise in and get your heart rate up without dying straight away.

[Gambrinus]

I'm annoyed because I've barely run in a year due to a combination of a bad injury, depression, stress from work being a cunt, and the fact that if you continue eating like you're running 50km a week when you are running about a quarter of that at best you will put a shed load of weight on.

Once I'm over this COVID I've got now I'm starting couch to 5k again. I want to be able to get back to being able to go and run a half marathon without even thinking about it again.

[JamesTC]

I ran 8 miles today. 2 miles more than normal because I wanted to go to a cemetery.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

That's all I got

[ZoyzaSorris]

Limp soon

[ZoyzaSorris]

They say you can run but you can't hide, but that's bollocks, I can't run (because I'm fucked)

[flotemysost]

I wanted to go to a cemetery.

You'll end up there soon enough if you carry on like that!

(jk, well done)

[Kankurette]

I hate running. I'm overweight so it hurts my knees, but even when I was thin I couldn't run. And I'm way too paranoid to run in public. Swimming, on the other hand, I love.

[touchingcloth]

I have come to realise running is the only form of exercise I have any shot at doing forever

Can I just shock you?

[Magnum Valentino]

What would anyone recommend as a couple of great meals to eat for post run recovery? Trying to maximize effectiveness if possible.

[flotemysost]

Bang a fat line of iron filings
6x pints Huel
An entire rat

yeah I don't actually know, sorry - guess it depends how far you're going? Everyone seems to talk about carb loading before running, I just sort of assumed afterwards you could eat whatever the fuck you wanted for a while because you're in god mode.

[touchingcloth]

Carb unloading. Just do a massive pasta shit.

[hamfist]

Carb unloading. Just do a massive pasta shit.

Curling off parpadelle in a glade

Queefing out a length of rigatone

Plipping conchiglie onto a bench

Clenching, straining then heaving a thick buccatini into a golf hole

[madhair60]

i've been running all my life. but what i'm running from, nobody can escape. nobody can ever outrun. you see, i'm running from Sonic the Hedgehog.

[touchingcloth]

Curling off parpadelle in a glade

Queefing out a length of rigatone

Plipping conchiglie onto a bench

Clenching, straining then heaving a thick buccatini into a golf hole

Fucking fart a farfalle.

[Magnum Valentino]

What's everyone's warm up? Past few years I've done nothing more than two minutes quick walking but in starting to think my lack of warmup is holding me back, particularly where hills are concerned and I can feel the fatigue in my thighs really quickly.

Any recommendations?

[vanilla.coffee]

Wreck your knees and use up all your heart beats.
Running. 

[Gambrinus]

On week 2 of Couch to 5k, being patronised by Jo Whiley.

Top tip: if you're a regular runner don't stop. Getting back to fitness is a right twat

[Magnum Valentino]

Good on you boss, keep at it. I also struggled to get back after a year off.

[shoulders]

Permanently damaged my spine from running in unsuitable footwear (and for some reason carrying on even though it was hurting) so whatever anyone does, by the fucking best jogging shoes you can afford.

[markburgle]

On week 2 of Couch to 5k, being patronised by Jo Whiley.

Top tip: if you're a regular runner don't stop. Getting back to fitness is a right twat

I chose "Laura", a random civilian, and am week 5. I wish there was a choice of motivation styles, not just different voices. Rather than "you're half way, you're doing so well" which causes me to waste breath telling her to fuck off, I'd prefer "Oh god you just ran for 3 minutes, you need to walk for a bit so you don't die".

I have no energy so I find running boring and hard, but being an inert depressed lump is worse. I will say that once I'm out there I'm generally glad I left the house

[katzenjammer]

You've inspired me lads, just downloaded that nhs couch to 5k app. How should I go about getting some suitable footwear so I don't permanently damage my spine?