Got any good Santa's grotto disasters?

[Icehaven]

But what do you do with the giant chocolate bar? Look at it and go "that's a large chocolate bar, that is" then walk off to the next prop?

There's something fundamental I'm missing here.

You have your photo taken with it. That's seemingly the sole point of the whole thing, so you'd probably be better off staying at home and photoshopping yourself into an actual Willy Wonka film (take your pick which one) and it'd look more impressive.

[thr0b]

Santa's shoeless replacement in the Metrocentre, Gateshead.

He knows you've been naughty.

Isn't that Whoopi Goldberg?

[Ferris]

You have your photo taken with it.

Ahhh. That makes more sense, but I'm still baffled by it.

[dissolute ocelot]

Before Xmas we went to one of those things which are cropping up more and more nowadays, but is basically loads of lit-up sculptures in some woods, which I realise is basically an opportunity for Instagrammable Moments, like you say...

Now, I was completely happy with the one we went to. Felt it was fair value for money etc etc. but, it differed from Wonka World here in several important factors - not least because the illuminated sculptures were really quite impressive both in quantity and quality, and they were exhibited in the dark, so that your eyes weren't distracted by muddy verges, or gloomy skies or anything else which would distract you from the experience.

Most of these illumination things take place in sites that are already nice in daylight, like botanic gardens, estates of stately homes, in picturesque forests, etc, rather than in a muddy field round the back of some chancer's farm. Which certainly helps.

[BlodwynPig]

Ahhh. That makes more sense, but I'm still baffled by it.

Come on, baffled? Knee-jerk response to these things, but we've been down this post-ironic road for far too long. It's shit, a quick money grab attached to a family friendly holiday or nom du jour without much planning or investment.

[jamiefairlie]

It's all so grubby and desolate and awful.
I have a picture of Limmy's weans character wandering around the place, spoutin' his catchphrase; his inconsolable weans being told by their mum that it's all his fault.

I love that those crowd barrier things have been raised to the level of exhibit due to the sparsity of anything else to look at.

I adore this bleakness, it's like the ultimate liminal space.

[Ferris]

Come on, baffled? Knee-jerk response to these things, but we've been down this post-ironic road for far too long. It's shit, a quick money grab attached to a family friendly holiday or nom du jour without much planning or investment.

No I understand what's in it for the purveyors, it's the punters who are hoping to take photos that wrinkle my noggin.

[Captain Z]

The weirdest part was that there were no staff present at the venue. And at one point I'm sure I saw two of those TVs on wheels talking to each other.

[Midas]

there should be no refunds

[Blinder Data]

£36 per person! No wonder people got angry.

So many parents spend so much money on total crap. I can't understand it - it's not like they have money to burn. What's wrong with a trip to the swings and packet of sweeties?

House of Illuminati advertised tickets to the "whimsical world" of Wonka, with an "enchanted garden, with giant sweets, vibrant blooms, mysterious looking sculptures, and magical surprises", as well as "captivating entertainment" with live performances singing original songs from the film

...

Eva Stewart, of East Kilbride, told the BBC she saw children crying with disappointment. She added that she spoke to people who had travelled from Aberdeen, Dundee, Fife and even Newcastle to attend.

Michael Archibald, 18, said he was hired as a live actor for the experience but claimed they were given "AI generated" scripts to learn which made no sense.

"Nothing felt human and the audience's reactions had even been scripted. I have done a degree in higher drama and this isn't how people write up scripts here," he said.

[king_tubby]

"Nothing felt human and the audience's reactions had even been scripted. I have done a degree in higher drama and this isn't how people write up scripts here," he said.

Now either he's very young to have done a degree in 'higher drama' or the Times subeditors are ignorant of the fact that in Scotland the final secondary school exams are Highers which are not the same as A Levels.

I know which one I think is right, eh readers?

[gilbertharding]

Most of these illumination things take place in sites that are already nice in daylight, like botanic gardens, estates of stately homes, in picturesque forests, etc, rather than in a muddy field round the back of some chancer's farm. Which certainly helps.

Well, quite - that's what I'm saying: it's surely only a matter of time before some Grundy's World of Christmas type 'entrepreneur' spots the growing popularity of these things, and wonders how difficult this Son et Lumiere lark can be.

[idunnosomename]

Billy (Billy Coull!) has already managed to be a part of ruining Christmas

https://www.glasgowtimes.co.uk/news/19781222.gowanbank-hub-glasgow-faces-backlash-cancelling-santas-grotto/

Hes clearly a scammer but also bonkers. Parading around a fake PhD he got on the internet. What sort of person would call their startup "House of Illuminati" anyway.

Also realising this event mainly got its audience because of sponsored Facebook ads using the busy AI images targeted at users around Glasgow. Seeing how people fall hook line and sinker for diffusion model images on Facebook, you'd think some of the press coverage would try and educate people on the dangers of ads and AI scams rather than just banging on about children left in floods of tears. British journalism eh. Just as bad as Billy.

[Alberon]

Warn people? They're taking notes.

[idunnosomename]

Yeah and it would wreck Reach PLC's business model if they told people to ignore stupid adverts when scrolling on their phones

[gilbertharding]

Yeah and it would wreck Reach PLC's business model if they told people to ignore stupid adverts when scrolling on their phones

Anybody who tries to use a Reach PLC site on a phone is asking for it anyway.

[gilbertharding]

Looking into this it does seem it was originally marketed as "Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory Experience" and the AI shit website only came along later, so you can't quite blame people for falling for the latter. still

https://www.whatsonglasgow.co.uk/event/131453-willy-wonka-experience/

some of the hanging prints are clearly shit AI too



even if some of the props themselves are pretty decent. but sparsely set out

Relocate this to Brighton, tell 'em it's Banksy, and Robert's your mother's brother.

[Senior Baiano]

[BlodwynPig]

£36 per person! No wonder people got angry.

So many parents spend so much money on total crap. I can't understand it - it's not like they have money to burn. What's wrong with a trip to the swings and packet of sweeties?

18 year old "i've done a degree" - prodigy or AI reporting ?

[BlodwynPig]

Now either he's very young to have done a degree in 'higher drama' or the Times subeditors are ignorant of the fact that in Scotland the final secondary school exams are Highers which are not the same as A Levels.

I know which one I think is right, eh readers?

Ah!

[Glebe]

The mods appear to have deleted the original post but it's archived here https://archive.ph/dCwSv