Your New Year's resolutions

[tookish]

This is an excellent one, my average is about two weeks currently. Good luck!

I've got a couple of succulents that have survived my Black Thumb but I suspect my partner of watering them.

I want to actually be responsible for a living being that won't meow if it wants something!

[PlanktonSideburns]

The prospect of living somewhere like Aberystwyth and not being able to drive is genuinely one of my biggest fears. I lived in Lancaster for a year before I could drive and it's what I imagine an open air prison must be like.

Where will ok 3w

The prospect of living somewhere like Aberystwyth and not being able to drive is genuinely one of my biggest fears. I lived in Lancaster for a year before I could drive and it's what I imagine an open air prison must be like.

Where would I drive to from Aberystwyth? Lampeter?!

I've lived in big cities, but I've got lidls and the egg vending machine 10min walk away, don't need to go anywhwere

[pancreas]

1. Focus on learning Deutsch. Actually talk to German speakers in German.

If you want the sort of Deutsches lick-out chat that will make you throw up your genital piercings, then may I recommend contacting hamfist.

Alternatively: I managed to drag myself along to a few 'speak french with random cunts' meetups on meetup.com, which was actually a good idea.

[drummersaredeaf]

egg vending machine 10min walk away

My other biggest fear.

[PlanktonSideburns]

You city boys with your egg vending machine hat attachments

[Ferris]

Driving isn't that hard once you get your head around it all. Get an automatic and make life easier - gear sticks are a waste of time.

You'll be eating non-vending machine eggs in no time.

[Cuellar]

1. New job, more money to fund my lavish central heating and lightbulbs lifestyle.
2. Commit murder
3. Set up egg vending machine

[ros vulgaris]

Accept that my post-graduate "career path" is an erratic, irretrievable mess and let it go.

Read more books, make more friends, write more, generally enjoy life more.

[dontpaintyourteeth]

Here's one I think you can all use: wanking needs to be about quality instead of quantity

[PlanktonSideburns]

Accept that my post-graduate "career path" is an erratic, irretrievable mess and let it go.

Read more books, make more friends, write more, generally enjoy life more.

This cunt gets it

[non capisco]

Piled on the terry at an alarming rate recently attempting to eat and drink my way out of grief (didn't work) so I suppose I should do something about that.

Going to try and see more live things. Music, comedy, theatre, etc. A combination of price rises and a right old case of anhedonia has kept me staying in and doing nowt lately but there's usually something going on for cheap somewhere in the capital city of England where I can still just about afford to live.

Just open myself up to the world more generally. Been a right old moody shut in this year and I can actually be a gregarious soul when I want to be. You get out what you put in, don't you?

Don't usually hold a huge amount of truck with new years resolutions but 2023 was an especially harsh one that dealt one of the major slaps that every middle aged person can expect to contend with so fuck it, going into the new one with a conscious sense of positive momentum. There's stuff I can actually do to stop myself continuing to sink into the mire.

[shiftwork2]

I believe we all know what to do but we keep putting off doing it.  It's certainly true for me.  I have a finely-honed plan for perfection that I've been going to start next week for the last 30 years.

Well let's just fucking do it, so at the very least we can think about something else.

[idunnosomename]

1024x768 haha lol i wish i was dead.

[Cloud]

1. Focus on learning Deutsch. Actually talk to German speakers in German.

Viel Glück!

Mein Vorsatz ist auch mehr Deutsch zu lernen

Ich benutze Duolingo und verbringe Zeit mit deutschen in VRChat...

[Kelvin]

Really want to start learning guitar this year. Very low expectations, as I'm already 40 years old and have no musical knowledge whatever. However, if I could learn the absolute basics, well enough to strum along while I sing, I'll be really chuffed.

[Red82]

I wonder if mainlining Skag into a vein in my Knob would help me sleep at nights?  I'm sick of sleepless nights and a fucked sleeping pattern.  Not a New Years resolution that Peter Hitchens would approve of but what does that daft old cunt know.

[pancreas]

You don't need to invent a new machine for egg vending. Just fill one of those spiral dispensers with eggs and let the cunts scoop the spat out crap from the bottom if they're so desperate for eggs.

[Shaxberd]

Do the eggs have to be intact? You're only going to break them later anyway. You just need a few tanks and spouts, press one button for whites and one for yolks.

[Buelligan]

Add 3-5 more of you to my CaB buddy list

I know this might seem overly intrusive and ignorant but what is the point of the buddy thing?  What does one use it for?  I don't (and have never) use(d) social media so perhaps this is a very stupid question, please, humour me, educate me. 

[phes]

Go to bed earlier and get up earlier (I feel better)

Buy a very cheap in case of emergencies phone and turn my smartphone off daily for longer than it is on. I got rid of almost all social media a couple of years back and never gave it a second thought. I'm sick of being one of these hunch necked prats staring at this tiny screen usually for no good reason. 

[Dex Sawash]

I know this might seem overly intrusive and ignorant but what is the point of the buddy thing?  What does one use it for?  I don't (and have never) use(d) social media so perhaps this is a very stupid question, please, humour me, educate me. 

No idea. I used it like karma for a while and clicked add to buddy list but then one time rightafter I did it I got a notification that I had been added to their buddy list. I was unaware there were notifications for it and I felt kind of weirdand stalkery and quit.

I've gone back to fake reporting posts to Barry typing my little karma comment in the box but not actually sending it. This gives me a double laugh of the well constructed topical karma quip only twisted to suit format of pointing out to my pal Barry what I liked  because it must be important to him since he has this whole system set up.

I loved reading everyone's karma comments to each other.
All lost, like cunts in a forum.

[Buelligan]

Glad you don't understand too, it makes my ignorance less burdensome, thank you.  Does anyone know what it's for?

Please help with my 2023 resolution, to find out what the fuck the buddy list is for.

[Ferris]

You don't need to invent a new machine for egg vending. Just fill one of those spiral dispensers with eggs and let the cunts scoop the spat out crap from the bottom if they're so desperate for eggs.

I have one of these egg-dispensing contraptions in the fridge for my personal supply of eggs and honestly I haven't looked back.

[pancreas]

I have one of these egg-dispensing contraptions in the fridge for my personal supply of eggs and honestly I haven't looked back.

I hope it breaks and cuts up your face with shell fragments, personally. That's just my opinion and I am entitled to my own opinion.

[Dex Sawash]

I've just looked at my buddy list and got freshly re-saddened about missing poster @JamesTC and fondly remember the reign of @Glitch King

Partial range of emotions there

[Cuellar]

egg vending

Wasn't he in oh forget it I can't think of anyone but it sounds like it should be one of those jokes

[Cuellar]

Oh thought of another one

4. Get in touch with You Fibre and get fast Internet

More of a to do list really

[Buelligan]

This ^ seems like a bowels thing.

[Ferris]

I hope it breaks and cuts up your face with shell fragments, personally. That's just my opinion and I am entitled to my own opinion.

I forgive you

[drummersaredeaf]

I've always looked very dimly on egg people and found 'can I have an egg on it?' to be a reliable marker of class from my days working in a pub.

Meanwhile Kelvin, Ferris might be a low status egg beast, but he sure can help you find ways to make learning guitar as expensive and aesthetically confusing as possible.