Crap seasonal attractions

[Sebastian Cobb]

It is 100 tonnes, it's just that the pit is 5m deep.

So even fairly lanky children can be buried up to the neck?

[jamiefairlie]

This is just wrong. Sand is the worst thing about the seaside, it's something you put up with for the pleasure of being by the sea, not the actual attraction. Someone has not understood this.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

George Lucas understood it.

[Sebastian Cobb]

This is just wrong. Sand is the worst thing about the seaside, it's something you put up with for the pleasure of being by the sea, not the actual attraction. Someone has not understood this.

What's your stance on rock beaches and do you prefer them to sand ones?

[jamiefairlie]

What's your stance on rock beaches and do you prefer them to sand ones?

Yes, but you still get sneaky bits of sand even there.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Bit crap for chucking a towel down and lying on tho ain't they?

[Huxleys Babkins]

I'll take a pebble beach any time. It's like a free hot stone massage every time.

[jamiefairlie]

Bit crap for chucking a towel down and lying on tho ain't they?

Sand is worse though, you're only one gust of wind away from becoming human emery board

[Ferris]

Sand is worse though, you're only one gust of wind away from becoming human emery board

If only there was a large body of water near to the sand that would allow you to rinse it off.

[Sebastian Cobb]

If only there was a large body of water near to the sand that would allow you to rinse it off.

Not falling for that again.

[Ferris]

Not falling for that again.

In fairness your options for large bodies of water near Merry Hill are limited.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I mean that if you go to the sea to wash sand off you invariably end up with more, now wet sand, stuck to you on the walk back.

[Ferris]

Don't bring flip flops, live with the consequences. No sympathy.

[Sebastian Cobb]

The thing that flips sand all up your legs as you walk back to your towel?

[Ferris]

Sounds like you're all walking on the beach wrong.

[The Mollusk]

They used to turn a big part of my street on Newcastle's Quayside into a sandpit with deckchairs and the like every summer. I could never get past the feeling that it must have been absolutely packed full of dog shit.

This year they've gone for the far more sensible option of astroturf.

Sensible? Have you tried scrubbing shit out of astroturf? Think again my friend.

[The Mollusk]

In fairness your options for large bodies of water near Merry Hill are limited.

Plenty of large bodies though am I right!!!

[Ferris]

Plenty of large bodies though am I right!!!

Hey-ooooo!!

[The Mollusk]

That wasn't a weightist joke by the way. It was a comment on how many muscular hulks there are at the Merry Hill Grain Heap kicking grain into the faces of the weak and young.

[imitationleather]

Yeah, yeah. We all know exactly what you meant, mate.

[The Mollusk]

Sounds like someone's a little bitter. Enjoying scrubbing cat tods out of your astroturf garden because the Quayside honky told you it was a good idea!

[imitationleather]

Sounds like someone's a little bitter. Enjoying scrubbing cat tods out of your astroturf garden because the Quayside honky told you it was a good idea!

Actually it's not just an astroturf garden. This year infamously horrible company of wankers Brewdog have set up an outdoor bar on it too.

Now who's laughing?

[The Mollusk]

That is fair enough aye, have a good time

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

In fairness your options for large bodies of water near Merry Hill are limited.

It's right by the cut, ay it?

[Sebastian Cobb]

It's right by the cut, ay it?

I realise this isn't in the midlands but fucking hell
https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/local-news/firefighters-issue-stark-warning-after-21160893

[TrenterPercenter]

I realise this isn't in the midlands but fucking hell
https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/local-news/firefighters-issue-stark-warning-after-21160893

Isn't Yorkshire Live the paper that consistently publishes stories about giant oven chips?


I think we should be taking all these stories with a pinch of salt.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

I realise this isn't in the midlands but fucking hell
https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/local-news/firefighters-issue-stark-warning-after-21160893

Deep water, boat traffic, discarded shopping trolleys and Weil's disease. Sounds like an ideal place for kiddies to have a bit of fun.

[BlodwynPig]

Displaced sand is my idea of hell.

I liked the photo of the damp street in night time Utrecht, probably my favourite thing, damp dark quiet streets in Europe.

[flotemysost]

Anything from October-January channeling generic Bavarian oompa vibes. Nothing against Bavaria itself, or German beers/food etc. - I'm quite a fan - but in the last few years I've seen so many flimsy appropriations of that aesthetic in the UK that get wheeled out around autumn/winter, it just gets a bit depressing.

Especially Winter Wonderland (which is a whole serving of stone cold deso in itself), where half the food vendors have clearly come off the back of the summer festival circuit but need to fit a quota of twee olde worlde bollocks, hence the occasional hastily-added Gothic signage on a Chinese noodle stall.

[imitationleather]

Best thing about COVID has been the cancellation of the Newcastle shite Christmas market that makes walking through the city centre a nightmare.

Actually, that one thing has pretty much made all of this worth it.