Crap seasonal attractions

[Sebastian Cobb]

Anything from October-January channeling generic Bavarian oompa vibes. Nothing against Bavaria itself, or German beers/food etc. - I'm quite a fan - but in the last few years I've seen so many flimsy appropriations of that aesthetic in the UK that get wheeled out around autumn/winter, it just gets a bit depressing.

Especially Winter Wonderland (which is a whole serving of stone cold deso in itself), where half the food vendors have clearly come off the back of the summer festival circuit but need to fit a quota of twee olde worlde bollocks, hence the occasional hastily-added Gothic signage on a Chinese noodle stall.

Yeah they used to have an Oktoberfest in Aberdeen, it was basically just a big marquee in the park in town. The overpriced beer was pumped straight out of a tanker.

Apparently the band were just some brits that did it and couldn't speak a word of German. I think it might've been Henning Wehn who claimed that. He definitely claimed it's the only time he'd actually seen a person get so drunk they shat themselves.

[Ferris]

Yeah they used to have an Oktoberfest in Aberdeen, it was basically just a big marquee in the park in town. The overpriced beer was pumped straight out of a tanker.

Apparently the band were just some brits that did it and couldn't speak a word of German. I think it might've been Henning Wehn who claimed that. He also said it's the only time he'd actually seen a person get so drunk they shat themselves.

Ah so it wasn't Wehn who turned up at my 30th.

[flotemysost]

Apparently the band were just some brits that did it and couldn't speak a word of German. I think it might've been Henning Wehn who claimed that. He definitely claimed it's the only time he'd actually seen a person get so drunk they shat themselves.

Tbf the one time I've been to Oktoberfest in Munich, for every Ein Prosit the band played there was a Sweet Caroline or Dancing Queen. I absolutely would not be surprised if many, many people shat themselves over the course of that weekend.

[buzby]

They used to turn a big part of my street on Newcastle's Quayside into a sandpit with deckchairs and the like every summer. I could never get past the feeling that it must have been absolutely packed full of dog shit.

Especially after BBC1 had finished shooting one of their 'community' idents there:

[Icehaven]

I remember going to "Coventry by the Sea" back in the 80s, which was basically some sand dumped round the Belgrade theatre fountain, which for this one day only we were allowed to paddle in. At least there was some water involved, although it must have been gross and it's a miracle an entire generation of Coventrians wasn't lost to Cholera.

[obaibullah]

It seems like you've had a less than stellar experience with seasonal attractions, especially with the disappointment of finding 100 tonnes of sand in a failing mall car park. It's understandable to feel let down when attractions don't meet expectations, particularly when pricing and safety concerns come into play.

When it comes to seeking out fun and reliable entertainment options, you might want to explore some of the top amusement parks in usa. These parks offer a diverse range of attractions and experiences, ensuring there's something for everyone to enjoy. Plus, with stringent safety measures in place, you can rest assured that your visit will be both thrilling and secure.

[Gurke and Hare]

Thanks, spambot. Thambot.

It's amazing how much advance there's been in the crapness of seasonal attractions in just 3 years isn't it? Wonkafest would have killed for 100 tons of sand.

[Shaxberd]

I remember going to "Coventry by the Sea" back in the 80s, which was basically some sand dumped round the Belgrade theatre fountain, which for this one day only we were allowed to paddle in. At least there was some water involved, although it must have been gross and it's a miracle an entire generation of Coventrians wasn't lost to Cholera.

Something like this happens in Nottingham every year. There's a dedicated 'beach' and paddling pool which is fairly decent, probably a bit pricey but cheaper than a trip to Skeggy.

However, in the warm months when the official pool isn't there - or if it is but you don't want to pay for entry - families will turn up fully equipped with swimming gear and just swim in the fountain instead (as depicted in this image)

Considering pigeons have been shitting on that all year round I find it a little disgusting, but this impromptu shit seasonal attraction isn't really on the families so much as an indictment of the lack of affordable public recreation. Considering the council is absolutely broke that's probably all we're getting this summer.

[Captain Z]

I never would have considered the USA a top destination for amusement parks. Apparently they even have one themed around the Disney cartoons, I can imagine that's a bit naff.

[studpuppet]

I went to this back in 2017 (almost as old as the thread!), mainly for the attraction of the Bavarian Market.

https://web.archive.org/web/20171121212432/https://www.gowhitewater.co.uk/activities/christmas-ice-skating

Advertised with this photo:



Actually it looked like this but with mud everywhere that had been covered in sand to make it walkable on:



I found one review on Tripadvisor (with a single star):

So the advert said get in the festive spirit !
When me my wife and 4 young children arrived we were greeted by an older couple that said weve been in there 5 minutes dont waste your money we should have listened except id already booked and paid !
We were expecting a wintery magical scene with a christmas market filled with decorations and christmassy foodsthat the children might remember for at least a week but the reality was more like a carboot sale of average high street clothes and a stool selling a few wreaths and more sand on yhe floor and not a flake of snow
A poorly decorated limp looking christmas tree! 3 rides and a giant snow globe santas grotto looked closed either that or they'd run out of presents
We arrived at 4pm and our ice skating was booked for 7pm uh oh we had seen everything within 7 minutes it actually took longer to walk from the carpark !
So we asked if we could skate earlier and was told 6 oclock was the earliest we ordered some drinks and was then told we could get the skates and go on hasty to get this ordeal over and done with to spare the childrens misery we threw our drinks in the bin got our skates and was then told we couldnt go on till 6 so we were all standing in the most uncomfortable skates imaginable after speaking to someone else we were told we could go on on our own so we did and the ice was so bad it was impossible to move on it it looked like it had been destroyed by drunken polar bears even the stewards looked more like bambi on ice needless to say the pain from the skates got the better of us we lasted 5 minutes and we were done
The company who run and organised this event should be ashamed if you cant afford to do it properly dont do it at all im sure you would have alot less unhappy and unfestive families !