Weird workmates

[neveragain]

I remember a prematurely bald young fellow working at Lloyds TSB who once, when we went for a drink with one of the line managers after work, earnestly asked 'Does anyone like snuff movies?' ...There was no reply and I think I find the polite act of deference and lack of reproach even stranger than the question itself.

There was also a manager going out with one of the lesser members of staff. That can't be right. I mean, for heaven's sake, they were both women! It's very confusing.

[Dusty Gozongas]

I did my job and I smiled and I thought I was doing things correctly. She eventually wrote up my performance with criticism like "needs to involve herself in team conversations even if not interested in the subject matter."

She's protecting her own position in the management structure. Always argue with this sort of shit and never sign something untrue/unfair that can and will be used against you in a tribunal. Little things like this are insidious if you're working somewhere long enough.

[turnstyle]

I'm sure I've mentioned him before, but...

I used to work at my local council offices with a guy called Malcolm. He was a man in his 50's, small, wirey, and favoured a cardigan.

On my first day, he took me for a tour of the building, and we made small talk. As we talked down a corridor, a woman went into the toilets, just ahead of us.

'So,' I said 'How long have you worked...'

He stopped, and said 'shhhhh'.

We waited a few moments, him counting down the time on his fingers.

'She'll be sat on the toilet by now. Doesn't the thought of it turn you on?'


WELCOME TO THE TEAM, TURNSTYLE.


A few weeks later he was dancing on a desk in a bid to impress a female colleague, and mis-judged the area of his platform, slipping off and crashing to the floor, all limbs and wails.

His reward was a hernia and a few weeks off  work.