Publically Posted Tributes

[Saucer51]

I don't want to be judgemental because fortunately I haven't lost a close friend or relative in a violent, public death. And this is what these memorials are about; people who have died in a public place, through an accident, usually at a young age. I kind of understand the need for loved ones to place flowers at the scene of passing; to many it's important, particularly in recent years. Perhaps it was all started in earnest after the very public mourning of Princess Diana. But I felt Diana's passing and the hideous, ghoulish behaviour of many people who didn't know her was really self-pitying and attention seeking. They weren't drawing attention to Diana, they were drawing attention to themselves and their supposed grief. The people who knew her were grieving in private, not wandering around Trafalgar Square in a stupor or queuing for 48 hours to sign a book that will never amount to any significance in the world, ever.
But these sad little local memorials are hard to condemn. Graveyards are naturally awful places, perhaps it seems more fitting  to commemorate in a less bleak environment, even if it is a roundabout in a town centre, which is filled with the comfort of life rather than the doom of a cemetery.

[Too Many Cochranes]

For what it's worth, I hate the roadside tributes. I don't know why they can't get together in a pub and mourn or have a service. I agree, saucer51, that it seems like a reaction of people who want to create an event. The only possible reason for placing flowers at the roadside is an indication that it's a dangerous bit of road, and we've got a highways agency to do that.

I've never lost a relative in a road accident.

[Squink]

And I understand, in many parts of the world, those who have died on bicycles are commemorated with a "ghostbike", a bicycle stripped to the basics, painted white and chained in the relevant spot.

Yeah, I've seen those. I always thought it would make a decent sub-plot in Seinfeld to have Kramer riding around on one. "Look Jerry--a free bike!" With an inevitable dovetailing storyline of George or Jerry befriending the bereaved parent/boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever.

[Replies From View]

For what it's worth, I hate the roadside tributes. I don't know why they can't get together in a pub and mourn or have a service. I agree, saucer51, that it seems like a reaction of people who want to create an event. The only possible reason for placing flowers at the roadside is an indication that it's a dangerous bit of road, and we've got a highways agency to do that.

I've never lost a relative in a road accident.

If you hate roadside tributes, you'd probably hate sitting in a pub when all of a sudden an organised group memorial event starts up.  When you lose somebody to an accident, you feel like they've been "snatched away" and it's very understandable to want to mourn privately at the spot they died rather than anywhere else.  Often the person who died will be younger than usual, and they'll have people who knew them who wouldn't necessarily be invited to or want to attend the family church service, but want to pay their private respects somewhere.

Yes it's jarring - the idea of private respects being paid in a public space, but I can't really understand why this contradiction actually annoys people.  I guess it's because of the youth element that people look at it as a naive form of expression, in the same way that people tut at colourfully-dressed undergraduates doing political street art?  But I still don't understand getting wound up about it.  For me it's a perfectly reasonable and gentle intervention that doesn't beg my attention in the way charity muggers or people juggling shoes do.  I think people have it in their minds that it's an attention-seeking, showing-off thing (probably due to the shrieking grief of Princess Diana's twats) but this isn't true of everyone and to be honest grieving is a necessary and complicated thing, especially when someone is snatched away at a youngish age.

[Doomy Dwyer]

If you hate roadside tributes, you'd probably hate sitting in a pub when all of a sudden an organised group memorial event starts up.  When you lose somebody to an accident, you feel like they've been "snatched away" and it's very understandable to want to mourn privately at the spot they died rather than anywhere else.  Often the person who died will be younger than usual, and they'll have people who knew them who wouldn't necessarily be invited to or want to attend the family church service, but want to pay their private respects somewhere.

I have been in a pub when an organised memorial event suddenly started up, a spontaneous, yet at the same time, rigidly structured affair. Initially - I'll admit - I was outraged. But after taking the time to ascertain the facts behind the outbreak of sudden organised mourning, I found that the deceased had 'gone to sleep' or 'passed over' at an age far lower than the usual socially accepted 'Death Age'. This moved me, so rather than 'snatching away' my pint and storming out, I joined in, tentatively at first but later with more vigour and gusto. I celebrated the young man or womans (I know not which, and ultimately – does it really matter? We are all but specks of dust in the breeze after all) life, choosing not to wallow morbidly in the facts of their untimely end. I sang songs and danced on the tables. The other guests were taken aback at first. But as the drinks flowed, the spirit filled the room. As they were a young crowd I gave them 'Viva Forever' by the Spice Girls, 'Live Forever' by Oasis and 'Diamonds are Forever' by Dame Shirley Bassey from my repertoire. The last one was a bit of a gamble, but I figured that they'd be familiar with the piece from the Bond Films. Plus, it's a bit beyond my range, but I just vamped it up with a bit of Maria Carey style melisma. I think I pulled it off. It was terrific. I can't wait for the next tragic road accident!

I've never attended any political street art with garishly dressed students though. Sounds fucking awful.

[HappyTree]

People don't like to be confronted by death when it is inconvenient to them. So they complain at others rather than think about their own reaction. That's humanity!

[BlodwynPig]

You must be bereft of emotion if this is the conclusion you reach. Let's ask these people to just forget about the deceased completely. Or at least come up with a form of mourning that does not impinge on your eyesight.

Even better let's have a talent contest for best public grieving. The Ex Factor or something.

[Dead kate moss]

I feel sorry for the people who die at sea.

[Replies From View]

Or outer space.

[Dead kate moss]

Or in a volcano.

[Doomy Dwyer]

The dead laugh at the living. They're taking the fucking piss.

[Brundle-Fly]

Last summer, as a local ghoul, I felt it my duty to wander past Amy Winehouse's shrine in Camden Square, a few days after her death.  I wanted to see if there was this distasteful spectacle of Smirnoff miniatures, scorched table spoons and Marlboro Lights left in a pile by a tree, as the papers claimed that Sunday.  To be fair, there was a discreet indiscreet smattering of cheap off-licence decor but what really caught my eye was this bizarre tribute pinned to an oak tree in the park opposite. 

And you can't scan the lyrics to the tune at all!

 

[BlodwynPig]

Written by two male 70's soul producers?

[Dead kate moss]

'death's well-oiled prong?'

[Buelligan]

Lips of Coypu???  Charming.

[Lee Van Cleef]

And I understand, in many parts of the world, those who have died on bicycles are commemorated with a "ghostbike", a bicycle stripped to the basics, painted white and chained in the relevant spot.

I take it Nic Cage isn't far away.