Odd ways of doing everyday things

[Mr Eggs]

I use mouthwash BEFORE brushing my teeth, because to me that gets teeth prepped nicely for the scrubbing. It just makes sense.

WRONG WAY ROUND...Fucking animal.

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

You're right that is odd.

Fuck animals correctly, people.

[Hank Venture]

I often drink the liquid which the beets I eat come in. I also tend to scoop out the excess fat or grease or whatever it is from the pan when I cook minced meat for a lovely pasta bolognese, which I also eat. I've probably shortened my life by a good ten years because of this, but it feels wasteful to throw good food (or parts of it, in theory) out.

[Mr Eggs]

the beets I eat

The beets i eat? Beets?

Beetroot?

Stop it.

[Hank Venture]

I dunno, Dr. Seuss would have been proud.



Isn't that what these fuckers are called?

[Replies From View]

I keep meaning to do a turd sat facing the cistern. Bet it's exhilarating.

I'd say especially when it's a toilet in a public place, because you'll have the feeling of "cheating" on your own loo, but all too often they just put a wall there now.  I don't know how splayed that would make your legs, but quite a lot and I don't think that'd be exhilarating at all.  Plus you'd probably miss the toilet and poo on the floor because you'd be so shunted back.  So do check there's definitely a cistern there rather than a wall before you commit to the deed.

[Replies From View]

There's nothing odd about that, although it does suggest to me that you've spent the day with nothing else on but your pants and shoes.

I was thinking this.  Or that at some point in the earlier evening he must remove his trousers whilst retaining his shoes.

[SetToStun]

There must be a name for this knot, but I usually tie my shoes for the first time by doing a double knot and then winding one loop around the other, only pulling it partially through, then doing the same with the longer loop. This results in a pretty 4-loop flower, ideal for keeping long laces well off the ground. I then never tie the shoes again, just slipping them on and off.

There is a name for it now: the "tetrafoil HappyTree". For that I want 50% of the royalties.

This thread got me thinking and for the life of me I cannot come up with anything I do in an abnormal manner (apart from drinking, which I do massively and quickly, of course). How boring does that make me? I'm going to have to make up a quirk or foible before lunchtime, just to give me an edge.

[Buelligan]

They probably used their hand.  People do this in Africa and parts of Asia, which is why giving a gift or shaking hands with your left ("dirty") hand is like offering them your shit.  Which it is, really.

Are you sure this is correct Ronnie?  I only ask as I was born and lived for some years in Africa (which is, I freely accept, enormous and highly diverse so I may not have been in the right place), but I never heard of this.  There is a ritualistic concept of the left side being "unclean" and therefore used for unclean activities (which may well include arse wiping)  in many cultures but I'm not sure it is literally because ones hand is employed in lieu of other, more disposeable, wiping material.

[Replies From View]

Are you sure this is correct Ronnie?  I only ask as I was born and lived for some years in Africa (which is, I freely accept, enormous and highly diverse so I may not have been in the right place), but I never heard of this.  There is a ritualistic concept of the left side being "unclean" and therefore used for unclean activities (which may well include arse wiping)  in many cultures but I'm not sure it is literally because ones hand is employed in lieu of other, more disposeable, wiping material.

I have a friend who does a lot of travelling, and told me that in the parts of India she's been to one of the hands is indeed associated with "toilet" and the other with "eating".  Can't remember which way around now - I'm thinking right hand for the arse but don't know.

Edit:  googled it - it's left hand for the arse.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Etiquette_of_Indian_dining#Right_hand

[SetToStun]

Oddly - and I'm pretty sure this is utter bollocks - when I was a kid, I was told that in certain parts of Africa it was traditional to shake hands left-handed, the reason being that the shield is held by the left hand, so offering that hand was an indication of trust. If I remember correctly, the form was that the two men involved would put down their weapons and then approach each other. When they were face-to-face, they would put down their shields as a positive gesture and then shake hands left-handed.

Like I say, most probably bollocks but when you're a cub scout you're prepared to believe pretty much anything Akela tells you.

[Replies From View]

Loudly:  AH-KAY-LA!!  WE'LL - DO - OUR - BEST!!!!

Mumbled:  We - will - do - our - best.

[MojoJojo]

That's why Baden Powell made Scouts shake hand left hands when they shake. http://thescoutingpages.org.uk/handshake.html

Maybe it was just them crafty savages having a bit of a joke at old BP.

[CaledonianGonzo]

Just to confirm the left hand/arse wiping thing is more of an Middle Eastern/Subcontinental/Asian thing than an African thing.

[Replies From View]

But don't worry about that if you want to wipe your arse with your left hand anyway.

[mook]

why haven't we developed prehensile self-cleaning sphincters? it would have to be some sort of mouth within a mouth geegaw, like in that film with the alien.

obviously, we'd end up with some truly disturbing pornography, but i think it would be worth it.

[SetToStun]

That's why Baden Powell made Scouts shake hand left hands when they shake. http://thescoutingpages.org.uk/handshake.html

Maybe it was just them crafty savages having a bit of a joke at old BP.

Bloody hellfire - Akela was right! (Just as well, really, as Akela was also my dad.) I'd totally forgotten we had to do the left-handed shake, too. Cheers, Mojo - top banana.

[billtheburger]

I butter bread with the back of a spoon in the hope my kids will do it when they grow up.

[Buelligan]

But don't worry about that if you want to wipe your arse with your left hand anyway.

Thanks, but I think I'll stick with the Mum option, if it aint broke don't fix it, that's my motto.

[Treguard of Dunshelm]

Holding a pen in the traditional way makes me feel very uncomfortable, like the feeling you get when someone scratches their nails down a blackboard, so I hold it in between my index and middle fingers, resting on the crook. Dunno why, but I've done this from a very early age. Cue years of teachers trying to force me to write "properly", and me stubbornly resisting.

[Replies From View]

Thanks, but I think I'll stick with the Mum option, if it aint broke don't fix it, that's my motto.

True, except that one's parents tend not to live long enough to wipe one's arse forever.

[Neville Chamberlain]

I always put teabags into my cup by flicking them off my elbow first, like what Basil Fawlty does that time behind the bar with the ice cube.

If I've got several oranges, I decided which one to eat by juggling a few of them. The one orange that I still haven't dropped is the one I eat. I then retrieve all the smashed and bruised oranges from the floor and put them back in the fruit bowl and hope no fucker notices.

[mook]

If I've got several oranges, I decided which one to eat by juggling a few of them. The one orange that I still haven't dropped is the one I eat. I then retrieve all the smashed and bruised oranges from the floor and put them back on the shelves and then moonwalk the fuck outta waitrose.

[Mr Eggs]

If I've got several oranges, I decided which one to eat by juggling a few of them. The one orange that I still haven't dropped is the one I eat. I then retrieve all the smashed and bruised oranges from the floor and put them back in the fruit bowl and hope no fucker notices

There is nothing odd about this. Satsuma roulette HAS to take place upon a hard floor surface otherwise the fruit damage is insufficient to provide the roulettist withe the 'Oh fuck no!...' cringe as a wayward catch/collision spill drops a fruit.

[Hank_Kingsley]

I use mouthwash BEFORE brushing my teeth, because to me that gets teeth prepped nicely for the scrubbing. It just makes sense.

I do this too! Especially if I've been eating lots of sweets. It makes the whole experience of brushing much nicer.

[Mr Eggs]

^

I use mouthwash BEFORE brushing my teeth, because to me that gets teeth prepped nicely for the scrubbing. It just makes sense.

WRONG WAY ROUND...Fucking animal.

Thats TWO fucking animals.

Any more sicko perv types out there?

[HappyTree]

Holding a pen in the traditional way makes me feel very uncomfortable, like the feeling you get when someone scratches their nails down a blackboard, so I hold it in between my index and middle fingers, resting on the crook. Dunno why, but I've done this from a very early age. Cue years of teachers trying to force me to write "properly", and me stubbornly resisting.

Greetings, pen-brother! I do the same. I did it deliberately at around age 15 after having a large amount of summer homework for English class given back to me to do again because my writing had deteriorated into nonsense. I could read it fine but nobody else. So I changed my grip and then altered the whole way I write in a series of steps, finally arriving at a natural-feeling changed style by age 18. If you compare my handwriting now with anything before I was 16 it is completely different.

[Hangthebuggers]

I have a friend who does a lot of travelling, and told me that in the parts of India she's been to one of the hands is indeed associated with "toilet" and the other with "eating".  Can't remember which way around now - I'm thinking right hand for the arse but don't know.

Edit:  googled it - it's left hand for the arse.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Etiquette_of_Indian_dining#Right_hand

Definitely true in India. No plumbed water in many parts, no real toilets either. Nontheless I brought my own bog roll and used it like the luxury it was (incidentally bog roll is known as 'Tailet paper' there and is not always available).

The left hand (I assume is for removing any 'matter') and also for grasping a little jug to pour over your anus to wash away any sediment, whilst your right hand is for eating with.

Great place, some amazing sights and people - although I got hideously ill whilst over there and can only assume somebody couldn't tell their right hand from their left when preparing my saag aloo.

[Hangthebuggers]

I guess my only thing I do differently is trying to avoid polystyrene and cotton wool.

Polystyrene is demonic , squeeky hell and jars my soul to the very metaphysical fibres of insanity when squeeked and induces anxiety ridden nausea when spotted in the hands of young, clueless children. Cotton wool is very similar, but makes me retch as I think I had a bad dream once, where I was choking on some.

Oh and I hold pens like a freak. Kind of like holding a dart.

[dr beat]

Any more sicko perv types out there?

Yes.  I was recommended mouthwash before brushing by an ex who was a dental hygienist.  Can't remember what the advantage is supposed to be, but I have got used to it.